Posts Tagged ‘kids’

Discussing Mental Illness with Children

September 29, 2013

 

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Valuable information courtesy of aacap.org:

 

Kids are naturally curious and have questions about mental illnesses. Understanding mental illnesses can be challenging for adults as well as for children. Myths, confusion, and misinformation about mental illnesses cause anxiety, create stereotypes, and promote stigma. During the past 50 years, great advances have been made in the areas of diagnosis and treatment of mental illnesses. Parents can help children understand that these are real illnesses that can be treated.

In order for parents to talk with a child about mental illnesses, they must be knowledgeable and reasonably comfortable with the subject. Parents should have a basic understanding and answers to questions such as, what are mental illnesses, who can get them, what causes them, how are diagnoses made, and what treatments are available. Some parents may have to do a little homework to be better informed.

When explaining to a child about how a mental illness affects a person, it may be helpful to make a comparison to a physical illness. For example, many people get sick with a cold or the flu, but only a few get really sick with something serious like pneumonia. People who have a cold are usually able to do their normal activities. However, if they get pneumonia, they will have to take medicine and may have to go to the hospital. Similarly, feelings of sadness, anxiety, worry, irritability, or sleep problems are common for most people. However, when these feelings get very intense, last for a long period of time and begin to interfere with school, work, and relationships, it may be a sign of a mental illness that requires treatment.

Parents should be aware of their child’s needs, concerns, knowledge, and experience with mental illnesses. When talking about mental illnesses, parents should:

  • communicate in a straightforward manner
  • communicate at a level that is appropriate to a child’s age and development level
  • have the discussion when the child feels safe and comfortable
  • watch their child’s reaction during the discussion
  • slow down or back up if the child becomes confused or looks upset

Considering these points will help any child to be more relaxed and understand more of the conversation.

Pre-School Age Children

Young children need less information and fewer details because of their more limited ability to understand. Preschool children focus primarily on things they can see, for example, they may have questions about a person who has an unusual physical appearance, or is behaving strangely. They would also be very aware of people who are crying and obviously sad, or yelling and angry.

School-Age Children

Older children may want more specifics. They may ask more questions, especially about friends or family with emotional or behavioral problems. Their concerns and questions are usually very straightforward. “Why is that person crying? Why does Daddy drink and get so mad? Why is that person talking to herself?” They may worry about their safety or the safety of their family and friends. It is important to answer their questions directly and honestly and to reassure them about their concerns and feelings.

Teenagers

Teenagers are generally capable of handling much more information and asking more specific and difficult questions. Teenagers often talk more openly with their friends and peers than with their parents. As a result, some teens may have already have misinformation about mental illnesses. Teenagers respond more positively to an open dialogue which includes give and take. They are not as open or responsive when a conversation feels one-sided or like a lecture.

Talking to children about mental illnesses can be an opportunity for parents to provide their children with information, support, and guidance. Learning about mental illnesses can lead to improved recognition, earlier treatment, greater understanding and compassion, as well as decreased stigma.

 

Click on the link to read Tips to Help Parents Control Their Kids’ TV Habits

Click on the link to read 10 Steps Parents Can Take if their Child is Being Bullied

Click on the link to read School Holidays are Very Hard for Many Parents (Video)

Click on the link to read 20 Reassuring Things Every Parent Should Hear

Click on the link to read 10 Tips for Nurturing Independence Among Children

Click on the link to read 4 Tips for Getting Your Kids up in the Morning

Click on the link to read Seven Valuable Tips for Raising Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Click on the link to read Top Ten Compliments Your Children Need to Hear

 

 

Tips to Help Parents Control Their Kids’ TV Habits

September 17, 2013

 

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One of the most original and innovative ideas my mother had came about when she realised that I was spending far too much time watching TV and the problem required a change of policy in form of a proposal. The proposal was that I could watch 3 episodes a week on a school night as long as it the show had educational merit. So instead of watching a chat show or sitcom, I watched documentaries and current affair programs. I  remember watching shows on criminology, science, politics and history – all of which would have been ignored were it not for the rule. To this day, my TV tastes have been radically altered because of that rule.

Of course not all children would respond to such an arrangement. So courtesy of parentsforhealth.org, here are 12 more tips:

1. Get the TV out of the Bedroom!

Having a TV in the bedroom may keep your kids quiet, but you lose control over what and how much they watch. A recent study found that children who had a TV in their bedroom watched more TV and performed worse in school tests.

If your child already has a TV in their bedroom, you may have a job on your hands to get it out. We recommend that you just remove the TV and explain your reasons to your child. Be prepared for protests, but remember that you are acting in the best interests of your child, and that you are the boss!

2. Don’t have the TV on in the Background

If no-one’s watching it, turn the telly off! TV has an amazing effect on us. We instinctively pay attention to moving images, so when a television is on it is difficult to concentrate on other things. Remember, the “off” button is there for a reason.

3. Don’t Allow Unsupervised Access

Do you really know what the kids are watching? Many studies have shown that children can be exposed to violent and sexual imagery that is inappropriate for their age. Keep track of what your kids are watching, and avoid having loads of TV sets around the house.

4. Agree Programmes

Buy a TV guide, and agree in advance which programmes your children will watch. This won’t take long, and will save your children from hours of zombie-like channel surfing. Most Sunday newspapers have a weekly TV guide included. Set rules for acceptable programmes together, and develop a list of programmes to be watched.

5. Agree TV Time

Agree with your children how much time the family will spend watching TV during the week. Remember to be firm during the negotiations. Your kids need to know that you are the boss – much easier with younger children.

If your children are massive telly addicts, you will need to reduce their screen time gradually. The most important thing for telly addicts is to replace TV time with something else, so you might need to think about active hobbies for your kids.

6. Assess the Situation

Keep a TV log for a week, and work out how much time you and your children spend in front of the box. Just write down the number of hours of TV you’ve watched – you may find this surprising.

7. Record Programmes

Record movies and programmes that you like, and watch them at convenient times. This can help to minimise the effect that TV has on your family’s sleeping and eating patterns.

8. Discuss the Plan

Explain to your children the reason why too much TV is a bad idea, and get their opinions. This is crucial, since you want your children to develop good TV habits that they will take with them into adulthood. Don’t be too dictatorial, and explain your actions. Your children will get into the habit of being discerning viewers.

You’re the boss, and you need to take a lead, but you have to bring your children with you. If your children are very young, this will not be a problem – they will just accept your rules as being normal.

9. Encourage Rebellion!

Your kids are going to rebel against something so why not make this rebellion a positive process? Point out to your child or young adult that the TV keeps them passive and under control. Your children probably won’t like the idea of being passive zombies controlled by others.

10. Cut the Cable…

…or get rid of the dish. Why not get rid of your satellite TV and with the money you save, rent the odd movie that you’re really keen on? You’ll be able to watch your movie at a more convenient time, you won’t be bombarded with adverts, and you will probably save money.

11. TV Dinners

Don’t eat in front of the telly! When you are looking at the box, you find it harder to keep track of how full you are. For this reason people tend to overeat when they are watching television.

When children routinely eat meals in front of the TV they are more likely to become overweight. The odd bit of popcorn during a movie is OK, but in general don’t let your family eat meals in front of the TV.

12. Keep Perspective

You don’t have to ditch the TV completely, although believe it or not some people take this option and live perfectly normal lives. TV isn’t all bad…you can see great movies, there are fantastic educational documentaries, and there are great comedy and entertainment shows. Just make sure that you control the TV, and the TV doesn’t control you!

 

Click on the link to read 10 Steps Parents Can Take if their Child is Being Bullied

Click on the link to read School Holidays are Very Hard for Many Parents (Video)

Click on the link to read 20 Reassuring Things Every Parent Should Hear

Click on the link to read 10 Tips for Nurturing Independence Among Children

Click on the link to read 4 Tips for Getting Your Kids up in the Morning

Click on the link to read Seven Valuable Tips for Raising Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Click on the link to read Top Ten Compliments Your Children Need to Hear

 

This is What I Think of the No Hugging Rule at Schools

September 14, 2013

 

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It is becoming all the rage to ban children from hugging each other at recess. This is what I think of the rule:

 

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Click on the link to read Political Correctness at School

Click on the link to read What Are We Doing to Our Kids?

Click on the link to read Stop Banning Our Kids From Being Kids

Click on the link to read Banning Home-Made Lunches is a Dreadful Policy

Click on the link to read School Using Bomb As Bell

Another Reason why Television is Unealthy for Children

August 28, 2013

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Beyond the obvious physical health ramifications, it seems that excessive television watching among children can impact their mental health as well:

Children are becoming increasingly anxious due to too much time in front of TV and computer screens, according to a Government briefing paper.

Inactive lifestyles are also to blame for the negative impact on children’s wellbeing, said the document from Public Health England.

It said higher levels of TV viewing are having a negative effect on children’s wellbeing, including lower self-worth, lower self-esteem and lower levels of self-reported happiness.

Children who spend more time on computers, watching TV and playing video games also tend to experience higher levels of emotional distress, anxiety and depression, it said.

Last week, a study found half of all seven-year-olds do not get enough exercise – and girls are far less active than boys.

Only 51 per cent of all seven-year-olds in the UK achieve the recommended hour of exercise every day, with the figure being just 38 per cent in girls compared with 63 per cent in boys.

Half of this age group is also sedentary for an average of 6.4 hours or more every day, experts found.

Click on the link to read The Spoiled Twins with their £70k First Birthday Party (Photos)

Click on the link to read 5 Tips to Help Children Cope With Stress

Click on the link to read Seven Valuable Tips for Raising Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Click on the link to read Top Ten Compliments Your Children Need to Hear

Click on the link to read Tips For Parents of Kids Who “Hate School”

Click on the link to read 20 Reassuring Things Every Parent Should Hear

Click on the link to read Parents and Teachers Should Not Be Facebook Friends

4 Tips for Getting Your Kids up in the Morning

August 1, 2013

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Getting children ready for school on time is a real and extremely difficult challenge for many parents. Below are some tips courtesy of blogger Sue Kirchner”

1. Wake up, Little Susie 

    Analyze your kids’ morning routine. Some kids need time to come awake while others snap to it. For those sleepy heads, you may need to set the alarm early enough to accommodate some sitting-and-staring-into-space time. Or, try setting two alarms, one on the opposite side of the room. Having to physically get up and turn off the clock means your child is that much closer to being awake. Play around with the alarm itself. See if setting the alarm to a radio station works better at encouraging your kids to get up than just a buzzer. Experiment to see which method works best and then overestimate the time your child needs to get ready so there are no last minute morning panic attacks. That’s no way to start the day.

2. Rise and Shine                                        

    Try waking your kids up with their nose. Use favorite smells to lure them out of bed, such as cinnamon-raisin toast, crispy bacon frying, or maybe even coffee brewing for teens. I’m not above bribing my kids to get out of bed with one of their favorite breakfast meals. Sure, I may need to get up a little earlier to cook something, but it’s worth it to get everyone to willingly show up to breakfast and skip the nagging.

While I personally am not this dedicated, I did read a tip from a Mom who on cold winter mornings would throw her kids clothes into the dryer for a few minutes. She felt pulling on warm clothes helps inspire her kids to leave their warm bed. Try it and let me know if it works.

3. Early to bed, early to rise 

Tell your child that you will keep pushing bedtime earlier and earlier in the evening, until they are able to wake up on time. The thought of having to go to bed at 7:30 p.m. may be just the thing to motivate them to wake up in the morning. Getting a good night’s sleep, as simple as it sounds, may solve the problem, too. Get the family into a routine to guarantee a good 8 – 10 hours of sleep for your child.

4. Eliminate distractions

Your kids need to wind down and relax so they can fall asleep faster and feel rested. So, give your kids the opportunity to relax and unclutter their mind before bed. When they are young, read a goodnight story together. As they get a little older, have them read chapter books to you or read on their own. Don’t schedule activities too late in the evening so they are too wired to sleep. For tweens and teens, have them plug their cell phones into the charger in the kitchen before going to bed and leave them there. No texting until all hours late at night! According to this article from MSNBC and the BBC, teens texting at night causes sleep deprivation and memory loss. Sleep deprivation is very dangerous for teens, according to this article by the Mayo Clinic.

Same thing is true in the morning. Once your kids are up, no TV, no computers, no cell phones until they are dressed, have eaten breakfast, prepared their lunch, or packed up their backpack. Eliminating distractions before their chores are done can help keep the morning moving smoothly.

Hopefully these tips will help get your kids up and out the door in time for school. Now go have a cup of coffee and a deep breath!

 

Click on the link to read Seven Valuable Tips for Raising Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Click on the link to read Top Ten Compliments Your Children Need to Hear

Click on the link to read Tips For Parents of Kids Who “Hate School”

Click on the link to read 20 Reassuring Things Every Parent Should Hear

Click on the link to read Parents and Teachers Should Not Be Facebook Friends

Click on the link to read Introducing the App that will Give Parents Nightmares

Tips for Keeping Kids Engaged Over the Holidays

July 22, 2013

 

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Courtesy of thenewstribune.com:

1. Visit the library. Most libraries have summer programs in which kids can earn prizes for reading.

“Summer is a time when kids and teens can dig into things they’re interested in,” said Ellen Duffy, youth services coordinator for the Timberland Regional Library system. “Even more than helping kids gain and maintain reading skills, the library is about keeping the excitement about reading and learning and life alive and active. It’s about giving kids and teens opportunities to explore, to play, to make friends — to discover new characters and places in books.”

2. Encourage your kids to turn off the television, get outside and play with friends. If supervision is a concern, check with your local parks and recreation department for a playground program.

3. Keep healthful snacks around the house. Kids — especially those who are at risk of obesity — gain more weight during the summer, mostly due to snacking and lack of exercise. Registered dietitian and nutrition expert Keri Glassman has a wonderful list of healthful snacks for kids (including mini-pizzas and banana ice cream) at nutritiouslife.com/kids-zone/.

4. Give math meaning. There are plenty of ways kids can practice math around the house, from using fractions while cooking to tracking daily temperatures. For more everyday activities that reinforce math and other economic skills, go to familyeducation.com and click on “Stop Summer Brain Drain.”

5. Play board and card games. Many games encourage counting, strategy and problem-solving.

7. Create art. Keep those fine motor skills and creative juices in tune through art. Pick up a craft kit, consider signing your child up for an art class, or simply break out the sidewalk chalk on a sunny day.

8. Don’t forget communication skills. Suggest your child to keep a journal or write letters to loved ones. (Yes, the Postal Service is still operating, and using it might be a good way to sneak in a social studies lesson, too.)

 

Click on the link to read Seven Valuable Tips for Raising Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Click on the link to read Top Ten Compliments Your Children Need to Hear

Click on the link to read Tips For Parents of Kids Who “Hate School”

Click on the link to read 20 Reassuring Things Every Parent Should Hear

Click on the link to read Parents and Teachers Should Not Be Facebook Friends

Click on the link to read Introducing the App that will Give Parents Nightmares

Who Needs the Right Answer When You Can Think Like a Child

July 11, 2013

 

 

The clip above demonstrates more than just cuteness. It captures children who are not yet interested in wealth, answer with creativity and insight and are not afraid of being wrong. You ask those same questions to teenagers and you will possibly find cynicism and insecurity on show.

Cuteness has a short shelf life but confidence is of eternal significance. We must help our young maintain their confidence and creativity long after their ‘cute’ period is behind them.

Click on the link to read Teaching Perfectionists
Click on the link to read Teaching Children to be Honest Yet Respectful
Click on the link to read The Children of Today Show a Lack of Respect For Authority
Click on the link to read Our Real Heroes are Not Celebrities or Athletes

Teachers Addicted to Referring Their Students to Specialists

June 13, 2013

As a social experiment, wouldn’t it be wonderful if teachers decided not to refer their students for 12 months to an occupational therapist or speech pathologist? Wouldn’t it be interesting if they had to provide for the child and adjust their teaching to cater for the special needs of these children instead of relying on specialists to do that for them.

Just wait a minute! Aren’t teachers catering for children of special needs already?

Of course some are, but many aren’t. Here are some questions I have compiled for you to determine whether or not your child’s teacher is relying too heavily on a specialist:

1. Is there evidence that your child’s teacher is in regular contact with the specialist?

2. Is their evidence that your child’s teacher follows the recommendations based on the child’s assessment evaluation?

3. Does your child’s teacher blame a lack of progress solely on your child’s learning difficulty?

4. If you have ceased sending your child to a specialist has the teacher shown signs of giving up on your child and blaming a lack of progress on your decision?

This might seem harsh on teachers but believe me it happens all the time. Parents are put under pressure to have their child farmed off to a specialist with concerns over attention, comprehension, processing, integration, coordination etc. The parent then has to pay for a costly assessment. The assessment is not unlike a trip to the orthodontist. The orthodontist will almost always see a problem worth fixing – an imperfection that can always be adjusted with a stint on braces.

So too, a speech and occupational therapist will always see scope for therapy. There will always be a recommendation to fix this or manage that. Should the child not be eligible for Government funding, the parents would be pressured to pay for the services of a specialist. The going rate for an occupational therapist for a one hour weekly session is about $500 a month (from personal experience). If the parents refuse to pay, often the teacher will secretly accuse the parents of being selfish and putting money ahead of the interests of the child.

The truth is many specialists are called on, not because there is a major need for therapy, but for the teacher to defer responsibility. No teacher should be allowed to pressure a parent into such a move without first demonstrating a meaningful attempt at accommodating the child within the classroom.

It seems to be that this is a boom time for specialists. The scale for measuring learning difficulties has been expanding, new disorders are being invented overnight and more room is being reserved for this ever increasing ‘spectrum’. I once questioned a psychologist for pronouncing that a student of mine was on the spectrum when I didn’t feel it was warranted. His response – everyone can fit on the spectrum in some way or form. What does that mean? If everyone is on the spectrum, how is that fair to people with autism and low functioning Aspergers? Their condition will surely be undermined if they have to share a spectrum with you and I!

Be very mindful that teachers, like other professions, are prone to short cuts and self interest. It is in the best interest of teachers to outsource their students to specialists, because it means that any lack of progress can be blamed on a ‘disorder’ or processing issue rather than the teacher’s ability to cater for the student.

Of course not all teachers are like that and some students clearly require specialist intervention. There is no doubt about that. But this scenario does happen, and it does happen regularly.

Click on the link to read I am a Proud Defender of the Mixed-Ability Classroom

Click on the link to read The Difficulties of Parenting a Special Needs Child

Click on the link to read Schools Have to Wake Up to Confidence Issues Amongst Students

Click on the link to read If Only All Special Needs Students Were Treated this Way

Click on the link to read Labelling Children is Extremely Harmful

Click on the link to read The Insanity of Modern Educational Thinking

 

Top Ten Compliments Your Children Need to Hear

June 11, 2013

Since my last two posts were related to compliments and constructive criticisms, I thought it would be great to add this list of compliments children need to hear.

Courtesy of imom.com:

1. Compliment their characterWe live in a world where integrity is neither consistently taught nor widely expected. When our children demonstrate honesty, kindness, trustworthiness and reliability, that’s a great time to take them aside and offer a sincere compliment.

The ABC’s of Good Character

2. Compliment obedience and respect. It’s too easy to fall into patterns of disapproval, where the only time we notice is when kids do wrong. Rather than waiting for disobedience or disrespect (then coming down like a ton of bricks) try noticing obedience and respect: “I don’t always remember to tell you, but you are an awesome young man, and I appreciate the way you treat your mother”.

3. Compliment them for simply being part of the family. “Every time I see you, I’m thankful that I’m your Mom.” Kids need to understand that they are valued simply because they are.

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Teaching Children to be Honest Yet Respectful

June 11, 2013

I have a regular guest over for dinner who, until last week, has made a point of being elaborate in praise over the way I cook my meat. Last week when I invited this guest to join us for dinner, she asked me whether it would be possible to add some flavour to my chicken as she felt it was a bit bland.

Many people would be quite angry at the request, but in truth, the request itself didn’t bother me at all. What bothered me was that she had previously lauded something which she never really liked in the first place. She obviously did it to make me feel better about my cooking. But I don’t want false praise, I want the truth. I am happy she was finally truthful with me about my seasoning skills, because had she not, I wouldn’t have realised.

There is a habit among many of us to avoid conflict by not being candid and up front with others. Many hide their true feelings, let resentments simmer under the surface and fail to address hurt feelings so as to avoid a major scene and a war of words. This isn’t a healthy practice. In fact, it is being disingenuous.

There is a way to be truthful and constructive whilst at the same time considering the feelings of others. There is a way to be honest and communicate important issues without causing acrimony. We must teach our children to say what they mean and mean what they say within such a context. That way, relationships will be based on trust, people will know where they stand, apologies can be offered and accepted for indiscretions and communication can proceed without intrusive boundaries.

Yes, it is crucial that matters are raised in a respectful and courteous manner. Yes, judgements must be withheld when they are petty and without purpose. But the last thing we should teach our children is to be phoney in order to avoid conflict.

Click on the link to read The Children of Today Show a Lack of Respect For Authority

Click on the link to read Is There Anything Better than an Inspirational Child? (Video)

Click on the link to read Instead of Teaching a Baby to Read, Teach it to Smile