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Archive for the ‘Bullying’ Category

There’s More Effective Methods than Simply Punishing Bullies

February 12, 2017

bully-sandwhich-board

Here is one method that is more effective in counteracting bullying than punishments:

 

SCHOOLYARD bullies are more often stopped by meetings with their victims than by being punished, new research has revealed.

A study of 25 Australian schools found the best way to curb bullying was through ­restorative practice — asking a bully to reflect on the damage they have done and “act ­restoratively”.

Mediation and improving the social skills and assertiveness of victims also helped, schools said. But direct sanctions, such as verbal reprimands and detentions, were labelled least effective.

Researcher adjunct professor Ken Rigby, from the University of South Australia, said schools weren’t going soft on bullying by tackling the issue with mediation and meetings.

“You can’t stop all cases of bullying,” Prof Rigby said. “But teachers are increasingly seeing that direct sanctions don’t work particularly well.”

The study, published in the Australian Journal of Education, found some schools used direct sanctions in cases of extreme bullying or when restorative practice had failed.

Elwood Primary School uses mediation and meetings with students to stop bullying, but doesn’t punish kids with ­detention.

Click on the link to read The Best Thing We can Teach Our Students is to Love

Click on the link to read Bullying Victim Teaches His Attackers a Lesson!

Click on the link to read Horrific Bullying Attack Caught on Video

Click on the link to read Are Kids Really More Aggressive Nowadays?

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The Best Thing We can Teach Our Students is to Love

July 26, 2015

 

The title of this piece is a quote from comedian and anti-bullying campaigner, Michael Pritchard. And he is spot on!

Even more important than literature and science is the skill of love. How to love ones self and how to love others.

Please share this video with your colleagues and students.

 

Click on the link to read Bullying Victim Teaches His Attackers a Lesson!

Click on the link to read Horrific Bullying Attack Caught on Video

Click on the link to read Are Kids Really More Aggressive Nowadays?

Click on the link to read I Thought Sport Was Supposed to Bring People Together (Video)

 

Bullying Victim Teaches His Attackers a Lesson!

July 7, 2015
gavin Joseph could have insisted his attackers felt the full force of the law - instead he chose something far more effective  Source: Facebook

gavin Joseph could have insisted his attackers felt the full force of the law – instead he chose something far more effective Source: Facebook

A teenager gets beaten by his bullies and has the opportunity to have his attackers charged.

But no, he thought of something even better!

 

Gavin was tricked into meeting the group, who then surrounded him. He was ‘choked, punched, and left laying on the pavement so he would “learn his lesson”‘, explained mum Cortnie Stone on Facebook, in a post from family friend Susan Moffat that’s now been shared almost 130,000 times.

Gavin was left with mild concussion, a bruised esophagus, a fracture to the tip of his nose, and hematoma in his eye.

However, when his attackers were identified, rather than press charges, he choose to teach the bullies a lesson of his own, a lesson about what it’s like to walk in another person’s shoes.

Cortnie explains: ‘He did not press charges, but requested their community service be disability related, that they write a paper on Asperger’s, and that they watch a 20 min video statement he taped while their families were present so they could see the damage they did and hear the event from his perspective.’

She adds: ‘I am so proud of him, and I hope a lesson will come of this to all that hear about it.’

 

gavin-revenge

 

Click on the link to read Horrific Bullying Attack Caught on Video

Click on the link to read Are Kids Really More Aggressive Nowadays?

Click on the link to read I Thought Sport Was Supposed to Bring People Together (Video)

Click on the link to read The Rampant New Trend of Bullying Red Headed Boys

Horrific Bullying Attack Caught on Video

June 30, 2015

 

 

 

The girl being beaten up is only 13 and is now too terrified to go to school

 

Click on the link to read Are Kids Really More Aggressive Nowadays?

Click on the link to read I Thought Sport Was Supposed to Bring People Together (Video)

Click on the link to read The Rampant New Trend of Bullying Red Headed Boys

Click on the link to read 8 Methods to Stop Your Child From Being a Bully

Are Kids Really More Aggressive Nowadays?

March 29, 2015

 

aggression

Is it just me that hasn’t noticed an increase in aggression in the playground? If anything, I just think we are more aware of it and better understand the implications of playground conflict:

 

Tag…a simple game of tag. Seems innocent enough. But is it? Not according to many teachers.

Kids are starting to hit with such force that they often end up whacking their opponent across the back in a monstrous slap. I’ve seen this myself many times. “Ouch!” one kid cries, now on their hands and knees and fighting off tears. “Don’t hit so hard!” they yell up at the child standing over them. Often, you hear the other child whine, “I didn’t mean too…” Many times the act seems unintentional, although painful for the victim nonetheless. Tag is now becoming such an issue that schools are starting to ban this once beloved game.

In the fall of 2013, the problem of banning the childhood game hit a little too close to home. At a local New Hampshire school, tag was no longer a reality for many children. A classic game that was cherished through the ages was dismissed due to safety concerns. Parents and children were confused and some were outraged. Headlines stated everything from, “Banning Tag is Dumb” to “More Schools Banning Tag because of Injuries.” Curious, I started interviewing teachers in Maine and New Hampshire about what they were seeing at recess time.

One teacher said, “Kids are becoming more aggressive. When they play games like tag, they push with great force, often hurting the other child. We had to implement a ‘two-finger’ touch rule, so that kids couldn’t push so hard.” Another teacher that had been around for 30 years, saidshe had seen an increase in aggressive behavior as well. “They can’t seem to keep their hands off each other! Kids are always getting hurt.” A local principal stated that tag had become such a problem that they had to get creative. They gave the children foam noodles to “tag” the other children with and avoid actual contact with the hands.

The problem? Due to less time in active play these days, children are not developing the senses in their joints and muscles (proprioceptive sense) like they used to. In the past, it was more common for children to help with the outdoor chores. They would assist with raking leaves, shoveling the snow, and would even earn money by mowing lawns in their neighborhood. They’d also play for hours outside – moving heavy rocks to build a dam, scaling trees to new heights, and digging moats in the dirt. All of this “heavy work” helped children to develop a strong and healthy proprioceptive system.

Pediatric occupational therapists often prescribe “heavy work” to young children who have trouble with their proprioceptive sense. This usually consists of anything that gives weighted input to the joints and muscles, such as pulling a wagon that is loaded with bricks, carrying grocery bags, and digging in the garden. These are things that children would be naturally getting if they spent a considerable amount of time outside.

Due to the busy schedules of today, children often don’t have hours to explore the outdoors, to help with the outside chores, or even do small jobs that require manual labor. Therefore, many children don’t have the same opportunities to fully develop and fine-tune the senses in the joints and muscles. As a result, more and more children are starting to have trouble regulating how much force to use when pushing and pulling and even interacting with the objects and people around them.

This is why we are seeing children hit with too much force during a game of tag. Their senses are not quite working right – all because they are not engaged in an adequate amount of active play and movement on a regular basis.

 

Click on the link to read I Thought Sport Was Supposed to Bring People Together (Video)

Click on the link to read The Rampant New Trend of Bullying Red Headed Boys

Click on the link to read 8 Methods to Stop Your Child From Being a Bully

Click on the link to read High School Bullying Victim Gets Even! (Video)

I Thought Sport Was Supposed to Bring People Together (Video)

February 9, 2015

What happened to the fundamental principle of sportsmanship and healthy competition?

The teams involved were Santa Monica High and Beverly Hills High. The fight broke out at Santa Monica High on Jan. 23 following a sweep of the JV and varsity boys’ and girls’ basketball teams by Beverly Hills.

Officials with both schools are now taking steps to diffuse the long-standing rivalry.

On the video, CBS2’s Greg Mills reports “there are lots of punches thrown, angry words.”

“It was clear that the first punches that were thrown were thrown by Samohi students,” said Jackson Price, a Beverly Hills High student, “and the Samohi students out numbered the Beverly High students.”

“If I do not believe that we can participate at Beverly safely, I will cancel all games,” Santa Monica Principal Eva Mayoral wrote to parents.

As is the usual custom, most of the cars parked were at 4th Street, at the Santa Monica Civic Center.  As students walked to their cars, angry words were exchanged.

“I heard there was a big fight, things just got out of hand,” says Santa Monica High student Ronnie Cornelius. He wrestles for the school —  didn’t attend the game — but told Mills “everyone” was talking about it.

Click on the link to read The Rampant New Trend of Bullying Red Headed Boys

Click on the link to read 8 Methods to Stop Your Child From Being a Bully

Click on the link to read High School Bullying Victim Gets Even! (Video)

Click on the link to read Police Charges for Teen Bullies is More than Appropriate

The Rampant New Trend of Bullying Red Headed Boys

January 21, 2015

red head

 

Bullying in all shapes and forms is inexcusable but I particularly hate to see people being tormented for the colour of their skin, the country their country of origin or the in vogue tradition of victimising boys with red hair:

 

Without warning, a boy in uniform is pushed.

But it’s soon clear, this is no schoolyard tiff.

After being grabbed and pummelled, the victim is thrown to ground and swiftly kicked in the head.

Four left fists follow before a second kick, and a third to finish him off.

The young thug then adjusts his cap as he coolly walks away.

The unprovoked attack at Ringwood Station was carried out last October by a 15-year-old boy, who can’t be named for legal reasons.

He pleaded guilty in a children’s court and was sentenced to 12 months probation.

The violent teen is the son of a prominent AFL player – but instead of using his skills on the sporting field, the boy is getting his kicks by preying on others.

While the boy hasn’t been named, 7News understands teenagers know who he is and several have also been harassed or assaulted by him but have been too frightened to come forward.

Psychologist Dr Simon Kinsella says such aggression in young males is all too common.

“Very often they’re trying to maintain their reputation amongst their peers as being a tough person, a tough guy, and they don’t give any real consideration to what impact it might have on the victim,” he told 7News.

The victim’s parents hope their son’s courage will encourage others to go to police.

They are considering legal action against the attacker’s family.

 

CCTV footage of the incident is available here

 

 

Click on the link to read 8 Methods to Stop Your Child From Being a Bully

Click on the link to read High School Bullying Victim Gets Even! (Video)

Click on the link to read Police Charges for Teen Bullies is More than Appropriate

Click on the link to read African Children Bullied at School Because of Ebola

8 Methods to Stop Your Child From Being a Bully

December 31, 2014

 

 

Courtesy of via huffingtonpost.com:

 

1. Your child needs to be aware of others’ inner experiences.
It needs to become second nature to him to think about others and their feelings almost as quickly as he thinks of his own. Many parents validate one child’s perspective, but fail to discuss their own feelings or feelings of another child. Just validating your own child’s feelings does not teach him that there are other people in the world whose feelings matter.

Example of validating your child:

“I see you felt really angry right there when John took your ball.”

Example of teaching empathy:

“I see you felt really angry right there when John took your ball. He looked angry too. I think he thought you were going to play with him, but then you ended up playing alone.”

2. Discuss your own emotions too.
It does children no good to view a parent as having no weaknesses or vulnerable emotions. If they can empathize with you, they will remember this and it will facilitate self-compassion when they are an adult behaving as you do. Here’s an example of that:

“I’m sorry you got upset when Mommy didn’t play with you. Mommy was feeling anxious because she had a lot of cleaning to do before our friends come over. I will play with you now.”

3. Discuss both siblings’ or friends’ emotions after any conflict, validating and empathizing with both sides. Do not only validate the child whose actions you agree with more.
Example: “You were mad that your sister grabbed your doll, and she was feeling sad that you weren’t paying attention to her.  That’s probably why she grabbed it.”  You’re not condoning any behavior, but just giving a value-free description of the emotions underlying each child’s actions.

4. Make sure to speak for those who cannot speak, such as pets or babies.  
“Why is baby crying?  I wonder if he is hungry or tired? What do you think?” And a zero tolerance policy for meanness to those smaller and weaker than yourself.  Horton Hears A Who! by Dr. Seuss is a good book to serve as a springboard for a discussion about why it is important to look out for those smaller than yourself.

5. When you interact with others outside the home, discuss their feelings later together.
“I wonder what Grandma was thinking when she waved bye bye to you. I think she was happy she visited with you, but also a little sad you had to go. What do you think?”

You can also do this with characters in books and on TV.

6. Aim for consistency around the issue of meanness and teasing.
Any name-calling or making fun of others should be nipped in the bud right away.  Bad names and mean words are unacceptable, even from the smallest child. Don’t laugh or roll your eyes when your 3-year-old calls Daddy a poopy head. This just shows her that bad names are okay and even funny. Instead, say something like, “It hurts Daddy’s feelings when you call him a bad name. That is not nice and it’s not okay.”

You and your partner or any other caregiver should get on the same page about “teasing.” Often, one parent thinks that gentle teasing is okay, and a more sensitive parent or child then ends up getting hurt a lot because the less sensitive family members are “just” teasing them multiple times a day. This is especially a salient issue with Highly Sensitive Children.  I recommend that this is discussed openly in a family, e.g. “Mary thinks that you calling her sillyhead isn’t funny, so please don’t say that to her. Joe thinks it’s funny so we can say it to him. Whenever someone says they don’t think teasing is funny, it means we should stop right away.”

7. When children see others who are different from them, e.g. with special needs or birth defects, it is important to discuss that everyone has feelings and wants friends.  
Don’t be content with just telling your kids not to talk meanly or make fun of these children. You should go up and say hello and introduce yourselves.  Read this wonderful article by a mom of a little boy with a craniofacial disorder for more on this.

8. When you are mean, apologize.  
Don’t just feel ashamed and then try to silently make it up to your child or partner later. Own your mean behavior. This is extremely important because you’re modeling taking responsibility for your mean behavior. Children learn from what they see you do much more than from what you tell them to you.

Example: “I’m sorry I grabbed your arm roughly when you pulled the stuff off the shelf in the grocery store. I did it because I was mad. But no matter what I was feeling, grabbing you wasn’t okay.”

 

If I can add to the list I would recommend having your child watch the entire How to UnMake a Bully series. I was fortunate enough to have some involvement in the installment above.

 

Click on the link to read High School Bullying Victim Gets Even! (Video)

Click on the link to read Police Charges for Teen Bullies is More than Appropriate

Click on the link to read African Children Bullied at School Because of Ebola

Click on the link to read Another Vicious Schoolyard Fight Video Emerges

High School Bullying Victim Gets Even! (Video)

December 8, 2014

 

This story reminds me of the famous shopping scene from Pretty Woman:

 

A former victim of high school bullying was asked on a date by one of her taunters only to stand him up with an excellent note that has seen her showered with praise from all over the world.

It all started eight years ago when UK student Lousia Manning, now 22, was bullied at high school where she was called fat and nicknamed “man beast” for having hairy legs.

Years later at Oxford University, she had a chance encounter with one of the bullies who asked her out to dinner, setting an elaborate plan in motion.

Instead of turning up at the restaurant as planned, she arrived early and left a note with a waitress.

“Hey sorry I can’t join you tonight,” it read.

“Remember year eight when I was fat and you made fun of my weight? No? I do — I spent the following three years eating less than an apple a day. So I’ve decided to skip dinner.”

“Remember the monobrow you mocked? The hairy legs you were disgusted by? Remember how every day for three years you and your friends called me Manbeast? No perhaps you don’t or you wouldn’t have seen how I look eight years later and deemed me f***able enough to treat me like a human being.”

“I thought I’d send you this as a reminder. Next time you think of me, picture the girl in this photo because she’s the one who just stood you up.”

Needless to say, the story received a huge response with anyone who has ever been bullied punching the air all around the world.

 

 

Click on the link to read Police Charges for Teen Bullies is More than Appropriate

Click on the link to read African Children Bullied at School Because of Ebola

Click on the link to read Another Vicious Schoolyard Fight Video Emerges

Click on the link to read Bullying from a Teenager’s Perspective

Police Charges for Teen Bullies is More than Appropriate

November 17, 2014

 

This was an awful incident, made worse by the fact that it was one of the attackers that posted the footage online. At least the police reaction gives us some hope that such conduct will not be tolerated:

 

Victorian police have charged a 15-year-old Ballarat boy after a video emerged online showing him bullying another boy.

The video was posted on Facebook last week and showed the teenager and several others threaten to stab the boy if he did not hand over his jacket.

Detectives said the teenager was charged on Monday morning with one count of assault with intent to rob.

He was bailed to appear at a children’s court.

Former police officer and cyber bullying expert n Susan McLean said the video was “distressing” to watch.

“The young victim was clearly petrified and the boys just kept going and going and going,” she said.

“I think as a society we need to say ‘well no, this is not a part of growing up, this is not character building, it’s wrong, it’s criminal and it needs to be dealt with’.”

She said people needed to be encouraged to report bullying.

“This young boy didn’t even go home and tell. This all came to light because it was posted online. So we’ve got to encourage a culture of telling, telling an adult,” Ms McLean said.

The video had been viewed online more than 300,000 times.

Police said their investigation was ongoing.

 

Click on the link to read African Children Bullied at School Because of Ebola

Click on the link to read Another Vicious Schoolyard Fight Video Emerges

Click on the link to read Bullying from a Teenager’s Perspective


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