Tips For Parents of Kids Who “Hate School”


There can be nothing more dispiriting for a parent than to be faced with challenges concerning their children that they can’t intervene in or correct. What do you do if they tell you they hate school? You can’t always change schools. How do you make the school experience palatable for your children when you have no control whatsoever over the day-to-day running of their school?

The following are a list of tips courtesy of

  1. Get to the root of the problem. Is the issue social, psychological, physiological (Lack of sleep? Over-stimulation? Food? Hormones?).
  2. Get your kid involved with extracurricular activities that interest him.
  3. Teach your child to power through difficult situations by using a “think aloud” approach. Ask her to imagine the situation, then ask questions to help her cope, like “What do you think will happen?” or “How could you make it better?”
  4. Involve the teacher and troubleshoot the situation together. If the problem is with a specific classmate or teacher, talk to a school administrator about your options. As a last resort, don’t be afraid to change classes/teachers.
  5. Set aside 15 minutes per day to allow your kid to worry, and have her write down her fears in a journal. After those 15 minutes, the worrying is over until the next day.
  6. Be honest about your own experiences in school. Let your kid know you’ve been there, too.
  7. Get a tutor or academic coach. Individual attention from someone outside the family can make all the difference, especially if the issue is academic.
  8. Let your kid vent. Sometimes when you’re upset, all you need is a friendly ear.
  9. Teach anxiety-coping strategies such as counting objects (patterns in the rug, colors in the room, designs in the bulletin board, etc.) to get your child out of the negative, anxiety-ridden frame of mind.
  10. Yuk it up. The easiest way to relieve stress is to laugh! It releases endorphins that make your kid (and you) feel better!
  11. Use reflective listening. If your child says “My teacher hates me,” reflect by saying “You feel like your teacher misunderstands you—tell me more” to validate the feeling.
  12. Seek professional help. If you feel you’ve tried everything and your kid is still unhappy and insists that he “hates” school, don’t be afraid to set up an appointment with a counselor or child psychologist.
  13. Talk about school issues with other parents of kids, preteens and teens.


Have you had a similar issue with your child/children? How did you address it?


Click on the link to read How Spelling Mistakes can Turn a Compliment into Something Quite Different.

Click on the link to read When Children Say Too Much


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