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Top Ten Compliments Your Children Need to Hear

Since my last two posts were related to compliments and constructive criticisms, I thought it would be great to add this list of compliments children need to hear.

Courtesy of imom.com:

1. Compliment their characterWe live in a world where integrity is neither consistently taught nor widely expected. When our children demonstrate honesty, kindness, trustworthiness and reliability, that’s a great time to take them aside and offer a sincere compliment.

The ABC’s of Good Character

2. Compliment obedience and respect. It’s too easy to fall into patterns of disapproval, where the only time we notice is when kids do wrong. Rather than waiting for disobedience or disrespect (then coming down like a ton of bricks) try noticing obedience and respect: “I don’t always remember to tell you, but you are an awesome young man, and I appreciate the way you treat your mother”.

3. Compliment them for simply being part of the family. “Every time I see you, I’m thankful that I’m your Mom.” Kids need to understand that they are valued simply because they are.

Family Mission Statement

4. Compliment contributions to the family“Clearing the table (sweeping the porch… putting out the trash) makes a real difference. I appreciate your contribution.” Kids need to understand that what they do makes a difference, that the adults notice, and that pitching in is a good part of family life.

5. Compliment the quality of their work. “This is one clean porch, mister!” “You mowed the lawn right up to the edge.  Way to go!  I’m so glad you take this job so seriously, it shows.” Doing a job at a high standard is always worth noting.

Reward Jar Coupons

6. Compliment the effort, even when the result is not the best“Your willingness to help makes me happy! Now we need to take a look at how you can get the trash to the curb without leaving a trail!” Compliments can be an important part of our role as teachers.

Phrases for Praises

7. Compliment when they achieve something new“Wow! That’s a huge leap forward for you there in math, pal.” “Awesome! I’m not at all surprised after you worked so hard.” A well-placed compliment can keep a positive ball rolling.

8. Compliment their sense of style even if we don’t exactly share their tasteWe don’t want to force our kids into being clones of us. “When it comes to putting together an outfit, you certainly have some flair!” “I can tell that you put a lot of thought into the way you look.” “I’ve never seen a table set quite like that before – you have an amazing imagination!” It’s not useful to limit compliments to the narrow range of our own taste.

Do You Accept Your Child for Who They Are?

9. Compliment steps toward a long-term goal“Son, the improvement you’re showing is commendable. Thanks for trying.” Waiting for perfection before we’re willing to dish out a compliment is inefficient, may dampen enthusiasm, and does little to help the process of growth.

Progress Road Map

10. Compliment their friendsBut only do this when you can do it honestly! “Your friends are the greatest!” “That Jake is such a good kid.” “You know, it gives me a lot of confidence to know you use common sense in choosing your friends.”

Click on the link to read Tips For Parents of Kids Who “Hate School”

Click on the link to read 20 Reassuring Things Every Parent Should Hear

Click on the link to read When Children Say Too Much

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2 Responses to “Top Ten Compliments Your Children Need to Hear”

  1. pennypinchingpeach Says:

    I love this post! I try to acknowledge the things my daughter does right and well. At 3 1/2, I have to correct her so frequently that it’s necessary to make an effort to keep a balance with letting her know I see the positive things she does.

    • Michael G. Says:

      Thanks Penny! You are not alone with the challenge of balancing criticisms and compliments. Its something we all find difficult. Thank you so much for contributing.

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