Posts Tagged ‘Children’

My Teacher, the Pedophile

July 24, 2013

icky

Today, 25 years after my pedophile teacher abused my friends, he has finally been sentenced for his heinous crimes.

I was only 10 when I was first subjected to a teacher that would later be exposed as an evil pedophile. He taught me for 2 years, and I am relieved to say that I cannot recall being personally abused by him.

But my friends have been devastated by this man. One such victim, who has a daughter in my daughter’s class, has received ongoing therapy for assaults at the hand of this awful excuse of a human being.

Whilst I wasn’t old enough to know what a pedophile was and although I never liked the guy, I wasn’t aware he was abusing my friends until he fled the country in controversial circumstances. I do remember vividly him organising a party as a treat for us, purportedly due to our good behaviour. He arranged for the use of a classmates pool whilst the classmate’s parents were at work. We were so excited. Excursions tended to be of a boring, strictly educational nature. The thought of spending the morning swimming was so new and exciting for all of us.

I remember him getting in the pool with us and playing around in a jovial and almost immature fashion (very different from the type of teacher he was in the classroom). I also remember him instructing us to freely undress together and that we should embrace our naked bodies as it is natural.  To demonstrate he stripped off in front of us in a casual and carefree manner. For some reason I have never felt comfortable displaying my naked body in public and I was a bit bothered by my teacher’s open display of nudity. I remember thinking it was weird for a teacher to be acting in this way. I was one of two children who decided not to undress in front of him and opted for a private spot instead.

When his secret was exposed and he fled the country, I remember my parents reaction. They sat me down in the lounge room with concerned expressions on their faces. They asked me if this teacher had touched me in a certain way or acted towards me in an inappropriate or threatening manner. I answered then, as I do now, that I cannot recall any such treatment. Unfortunately, some of my friends were not so lucky.

The truth is, that we were raised to have total reverence for our teachers and see them as perfect. I fear that I would have let my teacher do as he wanted with me had he tried. I did not know what a pedophile was and in those days parents didn’t discuss personal space and molestation avoidance with their children.

Today my teacher received a minimum sentence of 18 months and, after time already served in custody, he is eligible for parole in just three months! Try breaking that news to his victims who have waited for justice all these years.

The threat of such instances has made it difficult to be a male primary teacher. The constant stories of male teachers who have abused their responsibilities and offended against their students is a reminder to parents to stay alert. It means that we have to be more careful than our female colleagues when it comes to interactions and must avoid being alone in the classroom with a student.

But this is a necessary safeguard. Just think of the poor victims.

Tips for Keeping Kids Engaged Over the Holidays

July 22, 2013

 

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Courtesy of thenewstribune.com:

1. Visit the library. Most libraries have summer programs in which kids can earn prizes for reading.

“Summer is a time when kids and teens can dig into things they’re interested in,” said Ellen Duffy, youth services coordinator for the Timberland Regional Library system. “Even more than helping kids gain and maintain reading skills, the library is about keeping the excitement about reading and learning and life alive and active. It’s about giving kids and teens opportunities to explore, to play, to make friends — to discover new characters and places in books.”

2. Encourage your kids to turn off the television, get outside and play with friends. If supervision is a concern, check with your local parks and recreation department for a playground program.

3. Keep healthful snacks around the house. Kids — especially those who are at risk of obesity — gain more weight during the summer, mostly due to snacking and lack of exercise. Registered dietitian and nutrition expert Keri Glassman has a wonderful list of healthful snacks for kids (including mini-pizzas and banana ice cream) at nutritiouslife.com/kids-zone/.

4. Give math meaning. There are plenty of ways kids can practice math around the house, from using fractions while cooking to tracking daily temperatures. For more everyday activities that reinforce math and other economic skills, go to familyeducation.com and click on “Stop Summer Brain Drain.”

5. Play board and card games. Many games encourage counting, strategy and problem-solving.

7. Create art. Keep those fine motor skills and creative juices in tune through art. Pick up a craft kit, consider signing your child up for an art class, or simply break out the sidewalk chalk on a sunny day.

8. Don’t forget communication skills. Suggest your child to keep a journal or write letters to loved ones. (Yes, the Postal Service is still operating, and using it might be a good way to sneak in a social studies lesson, too.)

 

Click on the link to read Seven Valuable Tips for Raising Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Click on the link to read Top Ten Compliments Your Children Need to Hear

Click on the link to read Tips For Parents of Kids Who “Hate School”

Click on the link to read 20 Reassuring Things Every Parent Should Hear

Click on the link to read Parents and Teachers Should Not Be Facebook Friends

Click on the link to read Introducing the App that will Give Parents Nightmares

Who Needs the Right Answer When You Can Think Like a Child

July 11, 2013

 

 

The clip above demonstrates more than just cuteness. It captures children who are not yet interested in wealth, answer with creativity and insight and are not afraid of being wrong. You ask those same questions to teenagers and you will possibly find cynicism and insecurity on show.

Cuteness has a short shelf life but confidence is of eternal significance. We must help our young maintain their confidence and creativity long after their ‘cute’ period is behind them.

Click on the link to read Teaching Perfectionists
Click on the link to read Teaching Children to be Honest Yet Respectful
Click on the link to read The Children of Today Show a Lack of Respect For Authority
Click on the link to read Our Real Heroes are Not Celebrities or Athletes

Teachers Addicted to Referring Their Students to Specialists

June 13, 2013

As a social experiment, wouldn’t it be wonderful if teachers decided not to refer their students for 12 months to an occupational therapist or speech pathologist? Wouldn’t it be interesting if they had to provide for the child and adjust their teaching to cater for the special needs of these children instead of relying on specialists to do that for them.

Just wait a minute! Aren’t teachers catering for children of special needs already?

Of course some are, but many aren’t. Here are some questions I have compiled for you to determine whether or not your child’s teacher is relying too heavily on a specialist:

1. Is there evidence that your child’s teacher is in regular contact with the specialist?

2. Is their evidence that your child’s teacher follows the recommendations based on the child’s assessment evaluation?

3. Does your child’s teacher blame a lack of progress solely on your child’s learning difficulty?

4. If you have ceased sending your child to a specialist has the teacher shown signs of giving up on your child and blaming a lack of progress on your decision?

This might seem harsh on teachers but believe me it happens all the time. Parents are put under pressure to have their child farmed off to a specialist with concerns over attention, comprehension, processing, integration, coordination etc. The parent then has to pay for a costly assessment. The assessment is not unlike a trip to the orthodontist. The orthodontist will almost always see a problem worth fixing – an imperfection that can always be adjusted with a stint on braces.

So too, a speech and occupational therapist will always see scope for therapy. There will always be a recommendation to fix this or manage that. Should the child not be eligible for Government funding, the parents would be pressured to pay for the services of a specialist. The going rate for an occupational therapist for a one hour weekly session is about $500 a month (from personal experience). If the parents refuse to pay, often the teacher will secretly accuse the parents of being selfish and putting money ahead of the interests of the child.

The truth is many specialists are called on, not because there is a major need for therapy, but for the teacher to defer responsibility. No teacher should be allowed to pressure a parent into such a move without first demonstrating a meaningful attempt at accommodating the child within the classroom.

It seems to be that this is a boom time for specialists. The scale for measuring learning difficulties has been expanding, new disorders are being invented overnight and more room is being reserved for this ever increasing ‘spectrum’. I once questioned a psychologist for pronouncing that a student of mine was on the spectrum when I didn’t feel it was warranted. His response – everyone can fit on the spectrum in some way or form. What does that mean? If everyone is on the spectrum, how is that fair to people with autism and low functioning Aspergers? Their condition will surely be undermined if they have to share a spectrum with you and I!

Be very mindful that teachers, like other professions, are prone to short cuts and self interest. It is in the best interest of teachers to outsource their students to specialists, because it means that any lack of progress can be blamed on a ‘disorder’ or processing issue rather than the teacher’s ability to cater for the student.

Of course not all teachers are like that and some students clearly require specialist intervention. There is no doubt about that. But this scenario does happen, and it does happen regularly.

Click on the link to read I am a Proud Defender of the Mixed-Ability Classroom

Click on the link to read The Difficulties of Parenting a Special Needs Child

Click on the link to read Schools Have to Wake Up to Confidence Issues Amongst Students

Click on the link to read If Only All Special Needs Students Were Treated this Way

Click on the link to read Labelling Children is Extremely Harmful

Click on the link to read The Insanity of Modern Educational Thinking

 

Top Ten Compliments Your Children Need to Hear

June 11, 2013

Since my last two posts were related to compliments and constructive criticisms, I thought it would be great to add this list of compliments children need to hear.

Courtesy of imom.com:

1. Compliment their characterWe live in a world where integrity is neither consistently taught nor widely expected. When our children demonstrate honesty, kindness, trustworthiness and reliability, that’s a great time to take them aside and offer a sincere compliment.

The ABC’s of Good Character

2. Compliment obedience and respect. It’s too easy to fall into patterns of disapproval, where the only time we notice is when kids do wrong. Rather than waiting for disobedience or disrespect (then coming down like a ton of bricks) try noticing obedience and respect: “I don’t always remember to tell you, but you are an awesome young man, and I appreciate the way you treat your mother”.

3. Compliment them for simply being part of the family. “Every time I see you, I’m thankful that I’m your Mom.” Kids need to understand that they are valued simply because they are.

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Teaching Children to be Honest Yet Respectful

June 11, 2013

I have a regular guest over for dinner who, until last week, has made a point of being elaborate in praise over the way I cook my meat. Last week when I invited this guest to join us for dinner, she asked me whether it would be possible to add some flavour to my chicken as she felt it was a bit bland.

Many people would be quite angry at the request, but in truth, the request itself didn’t bother me at all. What bothered me was that she had previously lauded something which she never really liked in the first place. She obviously did it to make me feel better about my cooking. But I don’t want false praise, I want the truth. I am happy she was finally truthful with me about my seasoning skills, because had she not, I wouldn’t have realised.

There is a habit among many of us to avoid conflict by not being candid and up front with others. Many hide their true feelings, let resentments simmer under the surface and fail to address hurt feelings so as to avoid a major scene and a war of words. This isn’t a healthy practice. In fact, it is being disingenuous.

There is a way to be truthful and constructive whilst at the same time considering the feelings of others. There is a way to be honest and communicate important issues without causing acrimony. We must teach our children to say what they mean and mean what they say within such a context. That way, relationships will be based on trust, people will know where they stand, apologies can be offered and accepted for indiscretions and communication can proceed without intrusive boundaries.

Yes, it is crucial that matters are raised in a respectful and courteous manner. Yes, judgements must be withheld when they are petty and without purpose. But the last thing we should teach our children is to be phoney in order to avoid conflict.

Click on the link to read The Children of Today Show a Lack of Respect For Authority

Click on the link to read Is There Anything Better than an Inspirational Child? (Video)

Click on the link to read Instead of Teaching a Baby to Read, Teach it to Smile

6 Methods For Getting Kids to Cooperate

June 6, 2013

Courtesy of lifehacker.com.au:

Invite, Don’t Demand

We all want our children to “ask nicely”, but the truth is that’s easier said than done. My question is, where do you think they learned to be demanding and inflexible? Oh yeah, from us! If we want our kids to cooperate, then we’ve got to be the bigger, more mature ones and lead by example. Contrary to popular belief, asking nicely, inviting, and working together to find a solution to a problem doesn’t teach children to be more defiant or disobedient, instead, by doing these things you’re laying a foundation of trust and teamwork that your kids will soon learn to rely on.

Use this quick test to figure out whether your request is actually a demand. Ask yourself, “Would it be OK if they answered ‘no’ to this request?” If not, then you’re not actually inviting or asking, you’re demanding or requiring a specific behaviour. That’s OK some of the time, especially if safety is an issue, but remember, the more demands you make on your kids, the less true, internally motivated cooperation you’re likely to get.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t have expectations of your children. It’s just that when those expectations aren’t met, it’s helpful to see that as an opportunity to problem solve together, rather than an excuse to punish them into submission.

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24 Reasons Why Young Children Make us Smile

June 3, 2013

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This year I have taken leave from teaching in order to assume the position of stay-at-home dad. It is a big job and whilst I miss teaching, I have enjoyed spending the extra time with my children, doing school runs, taking my 1-year-old for walks in his stroller and watching him develop.

There is no doubt that young children can make us smile like nothing else. Below is a list written by writer and blogger Melissa Sher:

  1. That big breath before blowing out the birthday candles.
  2. A bedtime routine for a baby doll.
  3. Pasghetti. Handburgers. And other perfectly imperfect mispronunciations.
  4. Babies in sunglasses.
  5. Babies in hats.
  6. Baby thighs.
  7. Babies.
  8. A 4-year-old wearing his Halloween costume to school in April.
  9. An inability to whisper.
  10. Homemade birthday cards.
  11. Handmade jewelry.
  12. Conversations with imaginary friends.
  13. A big smile with only two bottom teeth.
  14. Flushed cheeks and damp hair after a nap.
  15. Waving “bye bye.” But doing it backwards.
  16. Left shoe on the right foot, right shoe on the left.
  17. A book read out loud by a child who can’t actually read.
  18. Galoshes. With a tutu.
  19. Songs sung in the bathroom.
  20. Freshly combed wet hair.
  21. Closing one’s eyes to disappear.
  22. The hand motions to “Itsy Bitsy Spider.”
  23. Their sense of wonder.
  24. And their innocence.

 

Click on the link to read Tips For Parents of Kids Who “Hate School”

Click on the link to read 20 Reassuring Things Every Parent Should Hear

Click on the link to read When Children Say Too Much

20 Reassuring Things Every Parent Should Hear

May 20, 2013

beth

Courtesy of writer and humorist Beth Woolsey:

 

1. You are a hero for your kids. You are. You’re a go-the-distance, fight-the-dragon, face-the-challenges hero for your kids. Taking a beating makes that more true. Not less.

2. We all struggle. Every parent. Everywhere. We all second-guess ourselves. And we all want to quit sometimes. Hold the good times close, and when things are tough, remember, “this, too, shall pass.”

3. Finding the funny may not save your soul, but it will save your sanity. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Either way, look for the humor and embrace the crazy. Laughter is a lifeline.

4. Every day, you will feel like you have mishandled something. Like you’ve been impatient. Like you’ve misjudged. Like you’ve been too harsh. Like you’ve been too lenient. You may be right. Apologize if you need to and then, whatever. Seriously. Just whatever. Let it go.

5. The crazy, the crying, the cuddles. The screaming, the sacred, the scared. The minutes, the magic, the mess. It’s all part of it. And it’s all worth it.

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10 Important Steps to Stop Yelling at Kids

May 7, 2013

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As much as it is largely ineffective and unprofessional we have all yelled at our students at one time or another. It can be extremely hard to remain calm when students become unruly and uncooperative.

Although intended for parents, this list by Laura Markham, Ph.D. provides sound strategies for maintaining composure around children:

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