As teaching are considered one of the most bullied professions these tips by Regina Paul for the broader workplace are extremely worthwhile:
1. Decide if the job is worth keeping. It may be that it is not worth it to you to stay in such a hostile environment, while the bully or bullies as the case may be set out to destroy you and your career. If it is not worth keeping, then begin seeking another job or give two weeks notice if you have the financial resources to quit before you find another job.
2. No matter what you decide whether to leave or stay, keep a journal of all contacts with the bully or bullies. Write down the dates, and times, and exactly what was said by both you and the tormentor(s). This is both to protect you and your fellow workers. You never know when someone in the future may file a lawsuit against the bully or the company stating hostile work environment, and it may be that your testimony is needed. Having it all down in a journal helps everyone. It also helps if you decide to go to Human Resources and can state dates, times and incidents. Also, copies can be made for your and the abuser’s file as well. That may be all that happens but at least if you leave and someone else is targeted, or you are not the only that has filed a complaint, it lends credence for the future.
3. For the rest of the time you are at the company, don’t respond negatively to the bully. If the bully or bullies continue to target you, respond mildly rather than openly getting upset. The person or group of bullies wants to get a negative reaction from you. If they do then they feel they’ve won by making you lose control, and therefore in their minds they have gained control over you. Don’t give it to him/her or them. This is hard to do, I’m not suggesting that it is not, and you will find that bullies will escalate when you respond mildly. However, if you continue to respond mildly and they are getting more and more out of control or even violent, be prepared for that, it is they who look bad, not you.
4. Another option and again be prepared for a violent reaction to this, is when the bully is finished talking look at him/her/them and ask, “Really, well let’s see what so, and so thinks about that.” Then call over a fellow employee whom you trust and when the employee arrives ask, “So, am to understand that you are saying…….” Make the bully repeat what he has been saying to you in the presence of others. Solicit others whose opinions you trust to hear what the bully is saying. Put the bully on the spot. Again this can be very difficult to do, but doing so gives you back the control which in reality you have in the first place. Bullies want you to believe they are in control, but this is false. You always have free choice no matter what the bully says.
5. If you have been working a lot of overtime, taking on a lot of extra projects and in general doing the work of more than one person, STOP! Go back to your regular eight hour day, refuse extra projects. Only do the work of one person which is what you were hired for. Under the law companies cannot expect employees to do more work than they can handle unless you signed something upon hiring saying that you agreed to a lot of overtime and that they could work you like a dog. In most cases this isn’t the case, you may have agreed to occasional overtime such as during tax season for example if you work for a company that prepares taxes, but rarely does anyone sign something giving up a lot of their free time for overtime. So, stop doing overtime, and stop taking on extra projects. There is nothing wrong with saying no. Employees are often afraid to say no, particularly in the case of a bully because bullies like to use the threat of demotion, or job loss to force you to do what they want. In reality you have rights as an employee and one of them is not to be overworked. While most companies make you sign a paper stating they can let you go without reason, the longer you are at a company the harder it is for them to be able to do that. For one thing when you apply for unemployment if the unemployment office doesn’t think your being let go was for a valid reason, they can actually force the company to hire you back.
6. Take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Bullies want to drag you down, make you so tired and stressed out that you cannot function properly because it makes them feel powerful and in control. So, get 8 hours of sleep a night, eat healthy foods, exercise, and do things you enjoy. I always suggest to those who ask me what they can do to maintain their mental health during a stressful job situation to take a Yoga class, or rent a video and start practicing Yoga. Yoga reduces stress and teaches you how to breath so that you are less stressed. It worked wonders for me when I was in a similar situation.
The important thing to keep in mind is that bullies are about control, so don’t give yours up to them. Whatever you decide, to leave or to stick it out, keep in mind that you are in control of your destiny, not the bully.
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