There are many parents out there struggling to know what to do to address the emotional wellbeing of their bullied children. They realise that it is often unhelpful to confront the bully’s parents and they certainly understand that confronting the bully is not acceptable. But what then do they do? They can’t just sit on their hands and hope the problem resolves itself. It’s just as likely to get worse as it is to go away.
So what can be done?
I like these tips from ncpc.org:
- Talk to your child’s teacher about it instead of confronting the bully’s parents. If the teacher doesn’t act to stop the bullying, talk to the principal.
- Teach your child nonviolent ways to deal with bullies, like walking away, playing with friends, or talking it out.
- Help your child act with self-confidence. With him or her, practice walking upright, looking people in the eye, and speaking clearly.
- Don’t encourage your child to fight. This could lead to him or her getting hurt, getting in trouble, and beginning more serious problems with the bully.
- Involve your child in activities outside of school. This way he or she can make friends in a different social circle.
The last tip is a common one that doesn’t appeal to me. The child should not have to find a different social circle just because the one he/she is in is unforgiving and intolerant. It says little for the school if they can’t promote social opportunities for your child.
The key tip is to consult the classroom teacher. But do more than just relay your concerns. Ask how the teacher is going to monitor and deal with the situation and then make a meeting for a fortnights to debrief with the teacher about how they are activating their plan. This follow up meeting lets the teacher know that you will not settle for anything less than a quick and focused response.
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Tags: Bullies, Bullying, Children, confronting the bully's parents, Don't encourage your child to fight, Education, Help your child act with self-confidence, nonviolent ways to deal with bullies, Parenting, Talk to your child's teacher about bullying, Teach your child nonviolent ways to deal with bullies
Topical Teaching 
April 7, 2013 at 12:50 am |
I agree with your last point that a school should do more to promote positive social circles (I tried to start a “skateboard club” for a half hour every Wednesday at a local middle school, on the wishes of the students I interacted with, and was denied by the principal because it “would be too much work for us” — she actually said that) ..
However I also think parents should encourage interaction outside of the child’s social circles by going to activities in other townships because it not only gives them a broader sense of the different types of people and things out there, but it does get them away from the typical school environment and proves, among other things, that it’s “not always like this.”
Plus, it increases a child’s potential support base twofold every time they enter a new environment. It prepares them for a more diverse world view.