Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

Lego Blamed for Harming Children’s Development

June 13, 2013

lego

I’ve heard it all! Lego, an invention which has been an incredible educational and creative mainstay of children’s lives, is being blamed for the very thing it excels in – aiding child development:

THE faces on Lego toys are getting angrier- and it may be harming children’s development, researchers warn.

The number of happy faces on Legos is decreasing, and more angry faces are taking their place, research by Christopher Barneck of New Zealand’s University of Canterbury’s has found.

Dr Barneck studied all the 6000 figures offered by the iconic Danish toy company, including Harry Potter and pirate-themed toys, and says they are increasingly angry and based on conflict – with potentially harmful effects on children’s play and development.

Lego started introducing a greater range of faces in the 1990s, but “happiness and anger seem to be the most frequent emotional expressions,” he found.

“We cannot help but wonder how the move from only positive faces to an increasing number of negative faces impacts on how children play.”

Legos are also increasingly based on conflicts, “often a good force is struggling with a bad one,” he found.

“Designers of toy faces should take great care to design the expressions and to test their effect since toys play an important role in the development of children,” says Dr Bartneck, who is acting head of the university’s Human Interface Technology Lab, which studies how design and technology impact users.

Click on the link to read Teaching Children to be Honest Yet Respectful
Click on the link to read The Children of Today Show a Lack of Respect For Authority
Click on the link to read Is There Anything Better than an Inspirational Child? (Video)Click on the link to read Instead of Teaching a Baby to Read, Teach it to Smile

Teachers Addicted to Referring Their Students to Specialists

June 13, 2013

As a social experiment, wouldn’t it be wonderful if teachers decided not to refer their students for 12 months to an occupational therapist or speech pathologist? Wouldn’t it be interesting if they had to provide for the child and adjust their teaching to cater for the special needs of these children instead of relying on specialists to do that for them.

Just wait a minute! Aren’t teachers catering for children of special needs already?

Of course some are, but many aren’t. Here are some questions I have compiled for you to determine whether or not your child’s teacher is relying too heavily on a specialist:

1. Is there evidence that your child’s teacher is in regular contact with the specialist?

2. Is their evidence that your child’s teacher follows the recommendations based on the child’s assessment evaluation?

3. Does your child’s teacher blame a lack of progress solely on your child’s learning difficulty?

4. If you have ceased sending your child to a specialist has the teacher shown signs of giving up on your child and blaming a lack of progress on your decision?

This might seem harsh on teachers but believe me it happens all the time. Parents are put under pressure to have their child farmed off to a specialist with concerns over attention, comprehension, processing, integration, coordination etc. The parent then has to pay for a costly assessment. The assessment is not unlike a trip to the orthodontist. The orthodontist will almost always see a problem worth fixing – an imperfection that can always be adjusted with a stint on braces.

So too, a speech and occupational therapist will always see scope for therapy. There will always be a recommendation to fix this or manage that. Should the child not be eligible for Government funding, the parents would be pressured to pay for the services of a specialist. The going rate for an occupational therapist for a one hour weekly session is about $500 a month (from personal experience). If the parents refuse to pay, often the teacher will secretly accuse the parents of being selfish and putting money ahead of the interests of the child.

The truth is many specialists are called on, not because there is a major need for therapy, but for the teacher to defer responsibility. No teacher should be allowed to pressure a parent into such a move without first demonstrating a meaningful attempt at accommodating the child within the classroom.

It seems to be that this is a boom time for specialists. The scale for measuring learning difficulties has been expanding, new disorders are being invented overnight and more room is being reserved for this ever increasing ‘spectrum’. I once questioned a psychologist for pronouncing that a student of mine was on the spectrum when I didn’t feel it was warranted. His response – everyone can fit on the spectrum in some way or form. What does that mean? If everyone is on the spectrum, how is that fair to people with autism and low functioning Aspergers? Their condition will surely be undermined if they have to share a spectrum with you and I!

Be very mindful that teachers, like other professions, are prone to short cuts and self interest. It is in the best interest of teachers to outsource their students to specialists, because it means that any lack of progress can be blamed on a ‘disorder’ or processing issue rather than the teacher’s ability to cater for the student.

Of course not all teachers are like that and some students clearly require specialist intervention. There is no doubt about that. But this scenario does happen, and it does happen regularly.

Click on the link to read I am a Proud Defender of the Mixed-Ability Classroom

Click on the link to read The Difficulties of Parenting a Special Needs Child

Click on the link to read Schools Have to Wake Up to Confidence Issues Amongst Students

Click on the link to read If Only All Special Needs Students Were Treated this Way

Click on the link to read Labelling Children is Extremely Harmful

Click on the link to read The Insanity of Modern Educational Thinking

 

Top Ten Compliments Your Children Need to Hear

June 11, 2013

Since my last two posts were related to compliments and constructive criticisms, I thought it would be great to add this list of compliments children need to hear.

Courtesy of imom.com:

1. Compliment their characterWe live in a world where integrity is neither consistently taught nor widely expected. When our children demonstrate honesty, kindness, trustworthiness and reliability, that’s a great time to take them aside and offer a sincere compliment.

The ABC’s of Good Character

2. Compliment obedience and respect. It’s too easy to fall into patterns of disapproval, where the only time we notice is when kids do wrong. Rather than waiting for disobedience or disrespect (then coming down like a ton of bricks) try noticing obedience and respect: “I don’t always remember to tell you, but you are an awesome young man, and I appreciate the way you treat your mother”.

3. Compliment them for simply being part of the family. “Every time I see you, I’m thankful that I’m your Mom.” Kids need to understand that they are valued simply because they are.

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Teaching Children to be Honest Yet Respectful

June 11, 2013

I have a regular guest over for dinner who, until last week, has made a point of being elaborate in praise over the way I cook my meat. Last week when I invited this guest to join us for dinner, she asked me whether it would be possible to add some flavour to my chicken as she felt it was a bit bland.

Many people would be quite angry at the request, but in truth, the request itself didn’t bother me at all. What bothered me was that she had previously lauded something which she never really liked in the first place. She obviously did it to make me feel better about my cooking. But I don’t want false praise, I want the truth. I am happy she was finally truthful with me about my seasoning skills, because had she not, I wouldn’t have realised.

There is a habit among many of us to avoid conflict by not being candid and up front with others. Many hide their true feelings, let resentments simmer under the surface and fail to address hurt feelings so as to avoid a major scene and a war of words. This isn’t a healthy practice. In fact, it is being disingenuous.

There is a way to be truthful and constructive whilst at the same time considering the feelings of others. There is a way to be honest and communicate important issues without causing acrimony. We must teach our children to say what they mean and mean what they say within such a context. That way, relationships will be based on trust, people will know where they stand, apologies can be offered and accepted for indiscretions and communication can proceed without intrusive boundaries.

Yes, it is crucial that matters are raised in a respectful and courteous manner. Yes, judgements must be withheld when they are petty and without purpose. But the last thing we should teach our children is to be phoney in order to avoid conflict.

Click on the link to read The Children of Today Show a Lack of Respect For Authority

Click on the link to read Is There Anything Better than an Inspirational Child? (Video)

Click on the link to read Instead of Teaching a Baby to Read, Teach it to Smile

The Call to Stop Telling Your Children they are Beautiful

June 10, 2013

 

Children, like adults have an innate need to feel attractive. It isn’t a manufactured one, it is completely natural. Sure, magazines and other mediums offer an unrealistic and extremely narrow version of beauty, but even without them, human beings would still obsess about their appearance.

That’s why advising parents not to make positive comments about their child’s looks is not constructive. It is based on the assumption that a comment on this issue, whether it be positive or negative, instills in the child an unhealthy message about the importance of looks in the real world. That is absolute baloney! In actual fact, those parents who choose to be silent on the issue risks that very consequence. Because after all, children are very perceptive. They know that parents compliment when there is something there to compliment and become silent when they have nothing positive to say on the matter. Children will just assume that their parents’ silence is due to their average appearance.

The key in life is to be moderate instead of extreme. Instead of limiting your compliments to be solely about looks and instead of saying nothing at all, how about making the child feel good about all aspects of their being such as their intellect, their sense of compassion, their individualism, their values …. and yes, even their appearance.

Click on the link to read School Official’s Solution to Harassed Teen: Get a Breast Reduction

Click on the link to read Self-Esteem Crisis Even More Serious than the Obesity Crisis

Click on the link to read Our Young Children Shouldn’t Even Know What a Diet Is?

Click on the link to read Charity Pays for Teen’s Plastic Surgery to Help Stop Bullying

Click on the link to read Most People Think This Woman is Fat

Click on the link to read It’s Time to Change the Culture of the Classroom

Click on the link to read Sparing Young Children the Affliction of Body Image

6 Methods For Getting Kids to Cooperate

June 6, 2013

Courtesy of lifehacker.com.au:

Invite, Don’t Demand

We all want our children to “ask nicely”, but the truth is that’s easier said than done. My question is, where do you think they learned to be demanding and inflexible? Oh yeah, from us! If we want our kids to cooperate, then we’ve got to be the bigger, more mature ones and lead by example. Contrary to popular belief, asking nicely, inviting, and working together to find a solution to a problem doesn’t teach children to be more defiant or disobedient, instead, by doing these things you’re laying a foundation of trust and teamwork that your kids will soon learn to rely on.

Use this quick test to figure out whether your request is actually a demand. Ask yourself, “Would it be OK if they answered ‘no’ to this request?” If not, then you’re not actually inviting or asking, you’re demanding or requiring a specific behaviour. That’s OK some of the time, especially if safety is an issue, but remember, the more demands you make on your kids, the less true, internally motivated cooperation you’re likely to get.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t have expectations of your children. It’s just that when those expectations aren’t met, it’s helpful to see that as an opportunity to problem solve together, rather than an excuse to punish them into submission.

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As if Naming Your Son ‘Adolph Hitler’ Isn’t Bad Enough

June 5, 2013

 

naz1

I’ll go out on a limb and suggest this man isn’t in the running for “Father of the Year”:

A white supremacist appeared at court on Monday dressed in full Nazi uniform as he tried to convince a judge that he was a good father – despite having named one of his children Adolf.

Heath Campbell, who had four children, asked the judge to be allowed to see his 18-month-old son Hons.

The self-proclaimed Nazi, from New Jersey, has given three of his children Nazi-inspired names but claims he is fit to be a father and has never abused them.

Campbell, a swastika tattoo clearly showing on his neck, told NBC10: ‘I’m going to tell the judge, I love my children. I wanna be a father, let me be it.

‘Let me prove to the world that I am a good father.’

He said that he had never abused his children and had only named them. He has not seen his children in two years and the eldest three have been adopted.

The 40-year-old white supremacist appeared at a hearing in Hunterdon County Family Court in Flemington, NJ this morning. His regalia included knee-high black boots and swastika patches.

He told the TV station that whether wearing his Nazi uniform might sway the judge’s decision, depended on the judge.

Bethanie White, a member of his organization ‘Hitler’s Order’, was with Campbell at court – also covered in swastikas.

Adolf Hitler Campbell, six, and his younger sisters Joycelynn Aryan Nation, five, and Honszlynn Hinler, four, were taken into custody in January 2009.

State officials also took another son, Hons Campbell, from his parents Heath and Deborah Campbell just hours after he was born in November 2011.

A court denied the Campbells’ appeal to have their children returned last year.

naz2

Click on the link to read Tips For Parents of Kids Who “Hate School”

Click on the link to read 20 Reassuring Things Every Parent Should Hear

Click on the link to read When Children Say Too Much

24 Reasons Why Young Children Make us Smile

June 3, 2013

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This year I have taken leave from teaching in order to assume the position of stay-at-home dad. It is a big job and whilst I miss teaching, I have enjoyed spending the extra time with my children, doing school runs, taking my 1-year-old for walks in his stroller and watching him develop.

There is no doubt that young children can make us smile like nothing else. Below is a list written by writer and blogger Melissa Sher:

  1. That big breath before blowing out the birthday candles.
  2. A bedtime routine for a baby doll.
  3. Pasghetti. Handburgers. And other perfectly imperfect mispronunciations.
  4. Babies in sunglasses.
  5. Babies in hats.
  6. Baby thighs.
  7. Babies.
  8. A 4-year-old wearing his Halloween costume to school in April.
  9. An inability to whisper.
  10. Homemade birthday cards.
  11. Handmade jewelry.
  12. Conversations with imaginary friends.
  13. A big smile with only two bottom teeth.
  14. Flushed cheeks and damp hair after a nap.
  15. Waving “bye bye.” But doing it backwards.
  16. Left shoe on the right foot, right shoe on the left.
  17. A book read out loud by a child who can’t actually read.
  18. Galoshes. With a tutu.
  19. Songs sung in the bathroom.
  20. Freshly combed wet hair.
  21. Closing one’s eyes to disappear.
  22. The hand motions to “Itsy Bitsy Spider.”
  23. Their sense of wonder.
  24. And their innocence.

 

Click on the link to read Tips For Parents of Kids Who “Hate School”

Click on the link to read 20 Reassuring Things Every Parent Should Hear

Click on the link to read When Children Say Too Much

11-Year-Old Writes Bucket List for her Terminally ill Mother

May 30, 2013

 

mel

As part of the standardised testing this year, students were asked to nominate a person for a hypothetical “Hero Prize” and give reasons for their selection. 50% of the students at my school nominated their mother (interestingly, none nominated their father). The impact a mother has on a child is unquantifiable and the heroism many mothers face at a time when finding the right work/home balance is as tricky as ever, should not go unnoticed.

The bucket list compiled by a an 11-year-old, charting the list of activities she would like to do with her mother while she is still well enough, strikes at the heart of how unimaginably hard it would be for a child to lose a parent, especially a mother.

bucket

To donate to the fund, visit Kate’s Bucket List on Facebook.

Click on the link to read Tips For Parents of Kids Who “Hate School”

The 10 Best Road Trip Apps for Children

May 27, 2013

trip

Courtesy of education.com:

  • 123 Color: Talking Coloring Book ($0.99, all ages) Let your toddler color in the car without any risk of broken or (yuck!) melting crayons. Unlike other coloring apps, this one teaches your little one to recognize letters, numbers, shapes and colors, making use of animation, sound effects and classic children’s music. Featuring different dialects and six different languages, your kid can brush up on her foreign phrases while honing fine motor skills.
  • iStoryBooks (free, all ages) Keep your little learner occupied for hours while helping her learn to read. Stories featured in this app include several fairy tales and fables, as well as a few interactive alphabet books and even a selection of multicultural tales. iStoryBooks publishes a new book every two weeks, and a parents’ section of the app gives you the option to add or delete titles from this interactive library.
  • Road Trip Scavenger Hunt (iOS, $0.99; Android, free, all ages) “I spy a family having fun on the road!” Everyone competes in this high-tech version of I Spy to see who’s the first to spot a particular word or object. The app keeps score and lets you determine a winner without any arguing. The iPhone app has over 140 different things to find; the Android version is a bit more basic, but you can add two additional game packs for $2.99 each.
  • Stack the States ($0.99, all ages) Cure backseat boredom with laughing and learning! Your kid answers questions about the states in a fun, quiz show format. Younger kids start to recognize state shapes, while older ones learn the capitals. A correct answer allows players to add a state to their stacks, and the player with the highest stack is the winner! If your pride and joy’s your one and only, though, there is a solo-player mode.

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