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It doesn’t matter how far fetched a child’s dreams may be, or how much it seems to distract them from their schoolwork, their dreams are vital to their growth and development.
A child’s dream is indicative of where their passions lie, and too many of us suppress our passions in favor of the socially acceptable and mundane. Not every child can become a pop star or gold medalist, but there is nothing wrong with aspiring to be either.
When I was a teenager I wished to be involved with movie making. I didn’t have to be the star or the director, I would have settled being the personal assistant to the editor.
Fast forward to adulthood and I may not be in the movie industry as such, but my desire to make it in movies was particularly helpful and instructive. It made me aware that what I really wanted was to make a difference. Just like the movies I watched as a child made a difference to me, I wanted to find a career that would allow me to inspire others.
That’s why I am completely at odds with the academic that spoke against allowing children to dream big:
Focusing on sporting success is a waste of time because ‘very, very few children’ are going to make it, an academic has said.
Ellis Cashmore, a professor of culture, media and sport at Staffordshire University, says there is little proof that the Olympic Games create any kind of meaningful sporting legacy.
And he believes it is high time parents realised children are more likely to make the finals of shows like The X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent than become sporting heroes of any sort.
‘We shouldn’t be trying to channel all of our energy into this pursuit of excellence in sports when very, very few children are going to succeed at any kind of level at all,’ he said.
‘My answer to parents who tell me their child might become a leading footballer or athlete is that they are putting them at risk of serious injury or closer to the world of performance-enhancing drugs.
‘I ask them: “Are you happy about that?” and they say: “It won’t happen to my child”.
‘To which I reply: “But it goes with the territory”. The cheats are very often those at the top.
Ellis Cashmore says there is little proof that the Olympic Games create any kind of meaningful sporting legacy
‘Do we want to churn out one-dimensional characters who leave no stone unturned in pursuit of excellence?’
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Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist, Katie Hurley, lists 5 reasons why play is beneficial for children:
1. Stress relief:
Play provides an opportunity for young children to process and work through the negative emotions they encounter throughout the day. Being a kid might seem like all fun and games, and perhaps their “problems” seem insignificant at times, but they do encounter stress along the way. heir problems feel big and overwhelming to them.
Children work through all kinds of emotions when engrossed in unstructured play. They might start out feeling stressed, but once lost in a world of imagination, they gradually let go of their stress and restore a sense of calm.
2. Emotional regulation:
Parents often ask me how to teach their children the art of emotional regulation. Little kids tend to have very big feelings and they often react before they have time to even process the event that triggered the feelings.
Through play, children learn to control their impulses and work through their emotions. They learn to find the triggers and problem-solve potential solutions.
3. Better social interaction skills:
Unstructured group play is the best way to let kids work on social interaction skills. When engrossed in group play, kids have to learn how to cooperate, resolve conflicts, empathize with others, and relate to peers.
4. Promotes creative problem-solving:
You can memorize answers to math questions (and you can even memorize strategies to solve difficult math problems), but you can’t memorize ways to solve real-life problems. What if a puzzle piece goes missing? What if another child is left out of a group? What if the tower just won’t stay up?
Children face a variety of problems each day, and these problems vary by age and stage. They have to learn how to step back and evaluate a situation before giving up or becoming hysterical. They have to learn how to think outside of the box. And that is something they can learn through the power of play.
5. Promotes learning:
The great irony of increasing academic pressure at the expense of unstructured play is that play actually promotes learning. Have you ever watched kids dump out a recycling bin and build something from nothing just because they felt like it? It takes planning, creative thinking, cooperation and resourcefulness to transform a bunch of old cardboard into a monster truck show, you know.
Play is the most natural learning style for children. They learn from play from the very first moment they shove wooden blocks into their mouths and they continue to learn through more advanced play as they grow.
So go ahead and say no to that party this weekend, speak up when the academics become overwhelming and start cutting back on those extracurricular activities. Happier, and less stressful, days are ahead for children. All you have to do is let them play.
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Click on the link to read The Skills Kids Can Learn from Traditional Board Games
Not everyone can be a leader.
In every community there are natural leaders and people more comfortable with following. That doesn’t mean that the followers are blind. Their mission is to find the right person or persons to follow.
And even within the system of leaders and followers, it is vital for all concerned to realise that they all have unique gifts and characteristics which they need to harness, even at the cost of seeming different.
But people don’t like being different. They feel it makes them stand out in a negative way and it reduces their opportunities for gaining respect and acceptance from their peers.
In the classroom this is depicted by the academically gifted student who tones down their effort levels so as not to stand out. Commonly classified as a form of peer pressure, it makes children feel like they need to be seen to have the same tastes in movies, clothes, songs and interests as the pack, just to fit in.
I look at the picture above and I feel sad that doing something different looks odd or uncomfortable. Surely, as teachers, we should be working towards creating a classroom environment where each child is made aware of their unique skills and qualities and is able to express themselves without risk of excommunication.
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Fantastic examples of children being brutally honest:
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Click on the link to read What is the Difference Between Over-Praising Children and Lying to Them?
Click on the link to read The Skills Kids Can Learn from Traditional Board Games
Click on the link to read Our Impressionable Children are Desperately Looking for Positive Rolemodels
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Adults that marvel at how confidently kids can navigate the web or use the iPad should consider holding off their applause. It seems that our tech savvy kids have let some fundamental skills go to the wayside whilst perfecting their technological prowess.
Kids in my generation knew how to fold, make the bed, wash and dry dishes properly (yes, both sides of the plate!) and of course, we quickly developed skills in tying our shoelaces.
But the same doesn’t apply to the kids of today:
TECHNO KIDS can use iPads but increasing numbers of children are unable to tie their shoelaces in time for the first day of school.
Shoe retailers and experts have revealed children as old as 10 were yet to learn the skill and opting for the easier velcro option.
“We notice more and more that younger kids can’t manage the laces as early on anymore,” Sophie McLellan, podiatrist and co-owner of Little Big Shoes at Kenmore, told The Courier-Mail.
“Certainly there are more and more kids wanting velcro and not laces. Usually when kids enter Grade One most schools want them in a lace-up shoe. However we’re finding lots of kids in Prep, (grade) One, Two, even going into Grade Three are still having trouble with laces.
Perhaps they should develop an app that teaches kids how to tie their laces … and clean the dishes … both sides.
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Over-praising children is tantamount to lying to them. If a teacher or parent needs to resort to embellishment then they have misread the child.
Developing trust is absolutely not negotiable when it comes to children. Once you are caught out on a lie or exaggeration you stand to lose the trust of the child, rendering everything else you say as meaningless.
But over-praising isn’t just lying, it is lazy. Every child has unique and interesting aspects to their personality. Every child possesses skills and praiseworthy character traits. If you find yourself over-praising your student, it means that you haven’t yet fully appreciated the child for who he/she is.
One can only love ones self if one understands themself. Self-confidence can only be attained once the person is in tune with his/her true abilities. That’s why genuine praise is so profoundly important. By reminding children of their legitimate positive aspects and traits, you will help them get in touch with who they are and what they can be. If you lie to them, sooner or later they will work it out and may choose to dismiss or neglect their greatest qualities as a result.
Some would say if you haven’t got anything authentic to say, don’t say anything at all. I say, don’t stop until you have something real to praise a child with.
And then keep on supporting that child to the best of your abilities. They are worth it!
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Wall street Journal writer Laura Perez, lists some skills that family games has taught children over the years:
It has taught them to be good actors. My children have great poker faces. They will bluff you in cards and convince you their made-up dictionary definition is legitimate. They’ll pass you some pretty shabby cards in Hearts with a sweet smile.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I don’t want my kids to become amoral liars. But learning to beguile, to read others, to keep emotions in check, to negotiate skillfully—all these can be useful in life.
It has improved their vocabulary. You can’t win at word games if you don’t know lots of words. And they know a lot. Piebald, anyone? I knew I’d never win Scrabble again when my youngest cleared her tiles with “reevict.”
They have gained presentation skills and grace under fire. I have a few shy ones, but it’s pretty hard to be shy during our family battles. Whether it’s charades or Pictionary, they have to know their audience, think conceptually on their feet and not let a countdown paralyze them.
It has taught them to be great guessers. Being smart about guessing is crucial in so many of the games we play—such as Trivial Pursuit or Clue or Botticelli, which is like 20 Questions on steroids. True, mastery of 1980s pop-culture trivia may not be a college entrance requirement. But learning how to reduce the possible answers to two from four definitely helps. And I have the proof on some recent PSATs.
It has taught them critical thinking. “It really helps develop their brains,” John says. We both noticed 16-year-old Riley’s concentration and animation a few days ago across the chess board from her uncle. They’re aware of the concepts of strategy and planning and go through life now instinctively solving puzzles.
It has taught them patience and sportsmanship. They’re still willing to play games with me. And when I lose they’re so encouraging!
It has unleashed their imagination. Games like Think Fast or role-playing computer games require the kids to use their creative skills. Riley says she doesn’t get people who don’t play games. “It’s like when people say they don’t like to read. It’s like going on an adventure.”
Most important, it has taught them to not fear failure. Our kids haven’t cared about the odds against them. Their egos aren’t fragile. Games have taught them that they need to risk failing if they want to succeed. I’ve been blown away by how much the kids actually love losing. Isabella, 12, says it’s fun to fling yourself off a cliff and make a crazy chess move.
When she loses, she says, “we don’t care that much. We don’t throw a fit, we accept it and play again.”
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