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Posts Tagged ‘Humour’

Unintentionally Funny Excuses Written by Parents

July 26, 2014

excuse

These are real excuses by parents courtesy of sarcasticsarcasms.blogspot.com.au:

 

1. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

 

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.

 

3. Dear school: please ecsc’s john being absent on jan . 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

 

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

 

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. For a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip..

 

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

 

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

 

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

 

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

 

10. Please excuse ray Friday from school.. He has very loose vowels.

 

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had the sh*ts.

 

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

 

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

 

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.

 

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wear.

 

16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.

 

17. Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday We have to attend her funeral.

 

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

 

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

 

20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

 

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover…

 

22. Please excuse Brenda . She has been sick and under the doctor.

 

23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

 

24. Toney could not make it in because me alarm clark didn’t go off because I was tired after partying all night.

 

25. Amy did not do her homework last night because we went out to a party and did not get home until late. If she is tired, please let her sleep during recess time.

 

26. Diane was late on Wednesday. She fell asleep on the bus and was taken back to the bus yard.

 

27. Please excuse my son from being absent yesterday, because there is a river in our house.

 

28. Henry stayed home because he had a stomach ache from eating too much frosting.

 

29. Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour throat.

 

30. Please exscuse John from being absent. He was lost.

 

31. Cody was absent yesterday because we were out bowling until 2 AM.

 

32. It was my fault Mike did not do his math homework last night. His pencil broke and we do not have a pencil sharpener at home.

 

33. Please excuse Wayne for being out yesterday. He had the fuel.

 

34. Tommy wasn’t in school yesterday because he thought it was Saturday.

 

35. Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.

 

36. Scott didn’t practice last night because he lost his tooth in the mouthpiece of his trumpet.

 

37. Mike was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.

 

38. Jerry was at his grandmother’s yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because Jerry couldn’t remember where the school was.

 

39. Please excuse my daughter’s absence. She had her periodicals.

 

40. Please excuse my son. He will be out next week slaughtering goats for his manhood ritual. Thank you!

 

41. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

 

42. George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.

 

43. The basement of our house got flooded where the children sleep so they had to be vaporized.

 

44. Please forgive Clarence for being absent from school the past few days. He was home sick from an operation. He had penis trouble and had to be serpent-sized.

 

45. Please excuse little Jimmy from missing school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the Doctor.

 

46. Ronnie would not finish his work last night. He said his brain was too tired of spelling.

 

47. Please excuse Loren for being absent. She was in bed with minustruation cramps.

 

48. Eric hurt his knee in a karate tournament over the weekend. He won his age group, but was in too much pain to do his math assignment.

 

49. Please excuse Tommy for being absent. He was out with the swan flue.

 

50. Please let Jean leave the room if she asks. She has been sick with dire rear.

 

Click on the link to read More Proof that Schools Operate Like Prisons

Click on the link to read Truant Teachers

Click on the link to read How Do They Come Up With These Ideas?

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Children’s Hilariously Inappropriate Spelling Mistakes

July 2, 2014

 

Courtesy of boredpanda.com via @MrMattHeinrich:

 

My Whole Family

Image credits: imgur.com

Best Cook

Image credits: white-orchid

Math

Image credits: odalaigh

Virginia

Image credits: draftermath

Horse

Image credits: laughingninja.com

 

My Goat Is In A Pen

Image credits: imgur.com

Tights

Image credits: rbrown34

Shirt

Image credits: Amanda Da Bast

 

Happy Birthday Kurt

 

Account

Image credits: buzzfeed.com

 

Abraham Lincoln

Image credits: imgur.com

 

 

Click on the link to read How Spelling Mistakes can Turn a Compliment into Something Quite Different.

Click on the link to read Why Spelling is Important at Starbucks

Click on the link to read The Ability to Spell is a Prerequisite for Getting a Tattoo (Photos)

Click on the link to read This is What Happens When You Rely on Spell Check

Click on the link to read Hilarious Menu Items Lost in Translation

Click on the link to read The 15 Most Commonly Misspelled Words in the English Language

Click on the link to read Who Said Grammar Isn’t Important?

Click on the link to read Why Spelling is Important

 

Hilarious Examples of Kids Telling It As It Is

February 13, 2014

truth1

 

Fantastic examples of children being brutally honest:

 

truth 2

 

truth3

 

truth4

 

truth5

 

truth6

 

truth7

 

 

Click on the link to read Kids Can Operate an iPad but Can’t Tie their Shoelaces

Click on the link to read What is the Difference Between Over-Praising Children and Lying to Them?

Click on the link to read The Skills Kids Can Learn from Traditional Board Games

Click on the link to read Our Impressionable Children are Desperately Looking for Positive Rolemodels

Click on the link to read The Plus Sized Barbie Debate Misses the Point

 

How Many Teachers Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb? (Part 1)

January 28, 2014

bulb

Courtesy of educationrethink.com:

Principal: I’ll get back to you on that.

Superintendent: There’s a lightbulb out? I’ll ask the Board of Education if we have any money for them.

Board of Education: The schools have enough lightbulbs. They don’t need any more.

State Department of Education: Teachers will fulfill measurable lightbulb-changing objectives based on a pre-assessment and post-assessment.

PD Coordinator: I need to develop a Lightbulb Theory Training with clip art lightbulbs and Comic Sans font. Can anyone tell me what Marzano said about lightbulbs?

Standardized Test: A) 2 B) 3 C) 3.14 D) Pineapple

Federal Government: “We see you have been changing lightbulbs but we don’t think you have been changing enough of them fast enough. All lightbulbs must be changed at a 100% rate each year or you will lose money for lightbulbs.”

Taxpayers: Why are our tax dollars being spent on things like lightbulbs?

Teach for America: The lightbulbs are going out, because the engineers are lazy slobs. Let’s replace them with someone who went through a month-long training course on engineering.

Parent: Why didn’t you call me two weeks ago to tell me the lightbulb was going to go out?

Union: This isn’t in the contract. It’s the custodian’s job.

Movie Tagline: Some lightbulbs, they said, would never be changed. She inspired them so they could be.

RT @participantname: We should think beyond the lightbulbs and inspire the light to light the bulb itself.

Education Conference Attendee: I just was so INSPIRED by that wonk’s keynote about changing lightbulbs!

Techie Reformy Post: Eventually lightbulbs will replace teachers. Kids can find the light. You don’t have to do it for them.

Student: [says nothing and doesn’t notice lightbulb is out because he/she is texting]

#stuvoice: Why is the teacher the one changing lightbulbs? Every kid should have their own lightbulb.

Maker Movement: Kids will make lightbulbs if you get out of the way and leave them alone.

Unschooler: We don’t need lightbulbs. That’s a part of factory/industrial mindset. Kids should be playing out in the sun all day.

Homeschooler: Even though the lightbulbs are exactly the same, the ones in my home are better than the ones at school.

#edchat: How do we change professional development so that teachers start changing lightbulbs instead of complaining that the bulbs are dead?

#edtech: Check out these 95 coolest, super-amazing, LED lightbulbs that will revolutionize classroom space.

2,000 retweet Twitter post: You have to think outside the bulb. #lightchat #bulbchat

TED Talk: Everything you thought you knew about light bulbs is wrong and I’m here to tell you why.

Tumblr Teacher Post: Here’s a .gif of a flashing lightbulb and a quote by Dewey about enlightening minds. Hope this helps.

This American Life: I’m not sure how many it takes, but I think we could learn something from a counterintuitive human interest story on lightbulbs. I’ll narrate it in a near-whisper.

Time Magazine: Why Teachers Are the Real Reason for Busted Lightbulbs and How Michelle Rhee Will Fix It

Internet Magazine: How An Amazing Way a 3rd World Teacher Changes Lightbulbs and Occasionally Refurbishes Lightbulbs from the Dump

Politician: Why do Finland’s lightbulbs work so much better than ours? I’ll ignore the evidence and assume that their bulbs and their entire electric grid must be decentralized.

Teacher: Actually, I did it 35 minutes ago.

Click on the link to read How Many Teachers Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb? (Part 2)

The Adult Version of the Dog that Ate my Homework

January 5, 2014

tax

It seems that excuses for not submitting homework doesn’t stop at the end of Elementary school. Adults have had a go at the humorous, yet totally ineffective ploy of making excuses for not doing their homework. Although, in their case it’s not maths or a book report, but rather their tax returns!

The following are the top ten excuses for not having submitted a tax return:

1. My pet goldfish died (self-employed builder)

2. I had a run-in with a cow (Midlands farmer)

3. After seeing a volcanic eruption on the news, I couldn’t concentrate on anything else (London woman)

4. My wife won’t give me my mail (self-employed trader)

5. My husband told me the deadline was 31 March, and I believed him (Leicester hairdresser)

6. I’ve been far too busy touring the country with my one-man play (Coventry writer)

7. My bad back means I can’t go upstairs. That’s where my tax return is (a working taxi driver)

8. I’ve been cruising round the world in my yacht, and only picking up post when I’m on dry land (South East man)

9. Our business doesn’t really do anything (Kent financial services firm)

10. I’ve been too busy submitting my clients’ tax returns (London accountant).

Click on the link to read Fourth Graders Quizzed about Infidelity in Homework Assignment

Click on the link to read Young Child Shows Dissatisfaction with his Homework (Photo)

Click on the link to read Why I Changed My Mind About Homework

Click on the link to read Leave Parents Alone When it Comes to Homework

Click on the link to read Parents Urged to do the Job of a Teacher

Why Spelling is Important at Starbucks

February 26, 2013

sucks

Too bad a paper cup doesn’t have a spell check option:

 

ursUrsula’s coffee order was made out to ‘Arsela’ by a hurried barista

manMolly must have ordered an awfully strong espresso to have her drink made out to ‘Manly’

ordriThey almost got Audrey’s name right, they just didn’t use the English language version

chadAt least they have two of the letters right from Chad’s name

messBess must not have looked her best that day

vagEven if the barista didn’t hear Virginia’s name they could have come up with something better

anusAnn-Louise deserves a much nicer nickname than the one Starbucks picked

Parody of Oscar Nominated Movies Featuring a Cast of Adorable Kids

February 25, 2013

 

Click on the link to read Hilarious Parenting Checklist

Click on the link to read 7 Rules for Raising Kids: Economist

Click on the link to read Dad’s Letter to 13-Year Old Son after Discovering he had been Downloading from Porn Sites

Click on the link to read Mother Shaves Numbers Into Quadruplets Heads So People Can Tell Them Apart

Click on the link to read A Joke at the Expense of Your Own Child

Hilarious Menu Items Lost in Translation

December 25, 2012

lit

Believe it or not, these menus are very real!

Below are 15 hilarious menu items, mostly from East Asian countries, that got lost in translation.

The photos of the funny food items are courtesy of BusinessPundit.com.

Laugh as you scroll down and try not to lose your lunch thinking about them too hard.

spicy
pork
cheese
cof
urine
herpes
crap
saliva
puke

Click on the link to read Who Corrects Our Spelling Mistakes?

Click on the link to read This is What Happens When You Rely on Spell Check

Click on the link to read The 15 Most Commonly Misspelled Words in the English Language

Click on the link to read Who Said Grammar Isn’t Important?

Click on the link to read Why Spelling is Important

Girl Writes Cute Note to the Queen

December 7, 2012

I love a bit of assertiveness. To a child, even the Queen of England is only a letter away.

 

queen

Click on the link to read Teachars Cant Spel

Click on the link to read This is What Happens When You Rely on Spell Check

Click on the link to read The 15 Most Commonly Misspelled Words in the English Language

Click on the link to read Who Said Grammar Isn’t Important?

Click on the link to read Why Spelling is Important

 

Who Said Grammar Isn’t Important?

July 17, 2012

I found this particular sign very amusing:

 

 

Click here to read The 15 Most Commonly Misspelled Words in the English Language


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