Children, like adults have an innate need to feel attractive. It isn’t a manufactured one, it is completely natural. Sure, magazines and other mediums offer an unrealistic and extremely narrow version of beauty, but even without them, human beings would still obsess about their appearance.
That’s why advising parents not to make positive comments about their child’s looks is not constructive. It is based on the assumption that a comment on this issue, whether it be positive or negative, instills in the child an unhealthy message about the importance of looks in the real world. That is absolute baloney! In actual fact, those parents who choose to be silent on the issue risks that very consequence. Because after all, children are very perceptive. They know that parents compliment when there is something there to compliment and become silent when they have nothing positive to say on the matter. Children will just assume that their parents’ silence is due to their average appearance.
The key in life is to be moderate instead of extreme. Instead of limiting your compliments to be solely about looks and instead of saying nothing at all, how about making the child feel good about all aspects of their being such as their intellect, their sense of compassion, their individualism, their values …. and yes, even their appearance.
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