Archive for the ‘Bullying’ Category

Anti-Bullying Song Goes Viral

May 16, 2014

 

 

I’m not a fan of television talent shows because I find them exploitative and I feel manipulated as a viewer. I also object to the audience reaction shots and backstage interruptions. But having said that, much credit must be given to the young singers above for their stellar performance and for taking the anti-bullying message to millions of people worldwide:

 

Two teenage boys wowed the Britain’s Got Talent judges with their rendition of Faith Evans and Twista’s “Hope,” changing the rap verses to reflect their feelings about bullying.

The duo — Bars and Melody — delivered an emotional performance that brought audience members to their feet and tears to some of their eyes. The video from last week’s show has since gone viral, attracting nearly 8 million views.

“I like the fact that they wrote their own song based on life experiences,” judge Simon Cowell told ITV on the network’s website after the audition. “People are going to root for them and they’ve got this great friendship that is so obvious when you watch them together.

The judges have moved Bars and Melody into Britain’s Got Talent’s semi-finals.

But the good news doesn’t stop there. It appears Bars and Melody has influenced bullies to apologize to their victims or stop their bullying altogether:

nicole

 

Click on the link to read Some Schools Just Don’t Get it When it Comes to Bullying

Click on the link to read The Bystander Experiment (Video)

Click on the link to read Tips for Managing Workplace Bullying

Click on the link to read 12,000 Students a Year Change Schools Due to Bullying

Click on the link to read The Devastating Effects of Bullying (Video)

Click on the link to read Sickening Video of Girl Being Bullied for Having Ginger Hair

Some Schools Just Don’t Get it When it Comes to Bullying

April 20, 2014

report

When I see a school disseminate the message that bullying should be left unreported, I feel sorry for people like my friend, Mike Feurstein, who has invested so much of his professional life to inspire kids to do the complete opposite.

 

A Nebraska school principal has apologized for sending fifth-grade students home with a flier that advises those who are bullied to not tattle on their tormentors.

Some parents of the fifth-graders at Zeman Elementary in Lincoln complained and posted angry comments on Facebook, the Lincoln Journal Star (http://bit.ly/1j6Abov ) reported Thursday.

Zeman principal Donna Williams apologized directly to the families on Wednesday for the wording of the flier, and the district posted the apology on its Facebook page.

“The flier was sent home with good intentions,” said Williams. “Unfortunately it contained advice that did not accurately reflect LPS best practices regarding response to bullying incidents.”

District student services director Russ Uhing said the LPS philosophy is: Ask the bully to stop. Walk away. If the bullying continues, tell a parent or teacher.

On the contrary, the flier advises that students should not tell on bullies because the No. 1 reason “bullies hate their victims is because the victims tell on them.

“Telling makes the bully want to retaliate,” it says. “Tell an adult only when a real injury or crime (theft of something valuable) has occurred. Would we keep our friends if we tattled on them?”

 

I will gladly combat Zeman Elementary’s pathetic advice with two example that will achieve a much better outcome:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyukkOiayt4

 

Click on the link to read The Bystander Experiment (Video)

Click on the link to read Tips for Managing Workplace Bullying

Click on the link to read 12,000 Students a Year Change Schools Due to Bullying

Click on the link to read The Devastating Effects of Bullying (Video)

Click on the link to read Sickening Video of Girl Being Bullied for Having Ginger Hair

Click on the link to read Our Young Children Shouldn’t Even Know What a Diet Is?

Brilliant New Advertisement on Schoolyard Bullying

April 17, 2014

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyukkOiayt4

 

 

An absolute masterpiece!

 

Click on the link to read The Bystander Experiment (Video)

Click on the link to read Tips for Managing Workplace Bullying

Click on the link to read 12,000 Students a Year Change Schools Due to Bullying

Click on the link to read The Devastating Effects of Bullying (Video)

Click on the link to read Sickening Video of Girl Being Bullied for Having Ginger Hair

Click on the link to read Our Young Children Shouldn’t Even Know What a Diet Is?

 

 

The Bystander Experiment (Video)

December 4, 2013

 

 

I don’t believe in shaming bystanders too afraid to confront an aggressive stranger whilst he is bullying another. While I strongly believe in the duty of a bystander to get involved, I understand that it doesn’t come at no risk.

I think the actors did a brilliant job in ‘setting up’ unsuspecting bystanders to their concocted scenario, but I believe their summary is all wrong. Instead of shaming those who were too afraid to stand up to the bully, highlighting those courageous enough to do so would have made for a far more effective message. One young woman in particular does an awesome job at diffusing a heated situation.

Making headway when it comes to changing bystander habits should be done though promoting positive and courageous actions rather than admonishment those who let fear stand in the way of what is the right thing to do.

For a comprehensive treatment on the power of the bystander for young children, I cannot recommend this film highly enough:

 

Click on the link to read Tips for Managing Workplace Bullying

Click on the link to read 12,000 Students a Year Change Schools Due to Bullying

Click on the link to read The Devastating Effects of Bullying (Video)

Click on the link to read Sickening Video of Girl Being Bullied for Having Ginger Hair

Click on the link to read Our Young Children Shouldn’t Even Know What a Diet Is?

Click on the link to read Charity Pays for Teen’s Plastic Surgery to Help Stop Bullying

Tips for Managing Workplace Bullying

November 26, 2013

 

work

As teaching are considered one of the most bullied professions these tips by Regina Paul for the broader workplace are extremely worthwhile:

1. Decide if the job is worth keeping. It may be that it is not worth it to you to stay in such a hostile environment, while the bully or bullies as the case may be set out to destroy you and your career. If it is not worth keeping, then begin seeking another job or give two weeks notice if you have the financial resources to quit before you find another job.

2. No matter what you decide whether to leave or stay, keep a journal of all contacts with the bully or bullies. Write down the dates, and times, and exactly what was said by both you and the tormentor(s). This is both to protect you and your fellow workers. You never know when someone in the future may file a lawsuit against the bully or the company stating hostile work environment, and it may be that your testimony is needed. Having it all down in a journal helps everyone. It also helps if you decide to go to Human Resources and can state dates, times and incidents. Also, copies can be made for your and the abuser’s file as well. That may be all that happens but at least if you leave and someone else is targeted, or you are not the only that has filed a complaint, it lends credence for the future.

3. For the rest of the time you are at the company, don’t respond negatively to the bully. If the bully or bullies continue to target you, respond mildly rather than openly getting upset. The person or group of bullies wants to get a negative reaction from you. If they do then they feel they’ve won by making you lose control, and therefore in their minds they have gained control over you. Don’t give it to him/her or them. This is hard to do, I’m not suggesting that it is not, and you will find that bullies will escalate when you respond mildly. However, if you continue to respond mildly and they are getting more and more out of control or even violent, be prepared for that, it is they who look bad, not you.

4. Another option and again be prepared for a violent reaction to this, is when the bully is finished talking look at him/her/them and ask, “Really, well let’s see what so, and so thinks about that.” Then call over a fellow employee whom you trust and when the employee arrives ask, “So, am to understand that you are saying…….” Make the bully repeat what he has been saying to you in the presence of others. Solicit others whose opinions you trust to hear what the bully is saying. Put the bully on the spot. Again this can be very difficult to do, but doing so gives you back the control which in reality you have in the first place. Bullies want you to believe they are in control, but this is false. You always have free choice no matter what the bully says.

5. If you have been working a lot of overtime, taking on a lot of extra projects and in general doing the work of more than one person, STOP! Go back to your regular eight hour day, refuse extra projects. Only do the work of one person which is what you were hired for. Under the law companies cannot expect employees to do more work than they can handle unless you signed something upon hiring saying that you agreed to a lot of overtime and that they could work you like a dog. In most cases this isn’t the case, you may have agreed to occasional overtime such as during tax season for example if you work for a company that prepares taxes, but rarely does anyone sign something giving up a lot of their free time for overtime. So, stop doing overtime, and stop taking on extra projects. There is nothing wrong with saying no. Employees are often afraid to say no, particularly in the case of a bully because bullies like to use the threat of demotion, or job loss to force you to do what they want. In reality you have rights as an employee and one of them is not to be overworked. While most companies make you sign a paper stating they can let you go without reason, the longer you are at a company the harder it is for them to be able to do that. For one thing when you apply for unemployment if the unemployment office doesn’t think your being let go was for a valid reason, they can actually force the company to hire you back.

6. Take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Bullies want to drag you down, make you so tired and stressed out that you cannot function properly because it makes them feel powerful and in control. So, get 8 hours of sleep a night, eat healthy foods, exercise, and do things you enjoy. I always suggest to those who ask me what they can do to maintain their mental health during a stressful job situation to take a Yoga class, or rent a video and start practicing Yoga. Yoga reduces stress and teaches you how to breath so that you are less stressed. It worked wonders for me when I was in a similar situation.

The important thing to keep in mind is that bullies are about control, so don’t give yours up to them. Whatever you decide, to leave or to stick it out, keep in mind that you are in control of your destiny, not the bully.

Click on the link to read 12,000 Students a Year Change Schools Due to Bullying

Click on the link to read The Devastating Effects of Bullying (Video)

Click on the link to read Sickening Video of Girl Being Bullied for Having Ginger Hair

Click on the link to read Our Young Children Shouldn’t Even Know What a Diet Is?

Click on the link to read Charity Pays for Teen’s Plastic Surgery to Help Stop Bullying

Click on the link to read Most People Think This Woman is Fat

12,000 Students a Year Change Schools Due to Bullying

November 4, 2013

 

 

bullies

Changing schools used to be a rarity when we were students. Nowadays it seems it has become not only extremely common, but in many cases a survival technique:

Thousands of parents are taking their children out of schools because of severe bullying, a Mail on Sunday investigation has found.

More than 2,000 parents who applied to transfer their children to new schools in just 28 local authority areas in the last school year gave bullying as the reason. The figures would rise to 12,000 if extrapolated across the UK.

The findings have dismayed school heads and campaigners. Charities blame 40 per cent of suicides among 11 to 14-year-olds on bullying.

The new figures were compiled from freedom of information requests to 150 local authorities for a breakdown of the reasons parents gave on ‘in year application forms’ for wanting to move their child during the school year.

While most councils said they did  not keep this information, 28 revealed that 2,300 parents said they were changing schools because of bullying.

North East Lincolnshire said 173 applications out of 2,217 cited bullying, while in Essex it was 444 out  of 12,695 and in Nottingham 131 out  of 3,424.

If this were replicated across the country, about 12,000 parents applied to move their children for that reason during the past school year.

 

Schools must work on bully proofing their environment as quickly as possible. Instead of waiting for the problem to arise they must offer an environment that acts as a disincentive for negative behaviours. They must offer alternatives to bullying by teaching good communication skills, anger management methods, problem solving tips and ensuring that its teachers are eager to help their students sort through problems that may arise.

The following series of films is sure to help achieve these goals.

Report Shows that Anti-Bullying Programs Actually Cause Bullying

October 10, 2013

make

It’s so easy to read a report that claims that anti-bullying programs actually increases incidents of bullying and throw your hands up in despair. But the truth is, that it isn’t the principle of teaching such skills to our students that is the problem it is the strength of the material and how its core messages are backed up within the school culture.

A major issue for school anti-bullying programs are that they are conducted in the classroom. The classroom in many cases has a stigma and therefore it is hard to find a program that doesn’t feel like more schoolwork. Additionally, many such programs feel preachy, saccharine and completely out of touch with the lives and interests of the student population. Lastly, teaching students to value and respect others is extremely difficult to pull off in an environment where many students feel undervalued and disrespected. How do you get students to respect others when they have trouble respecting themselves?

In other words, it is the range of programs that is to blame, not the principle of teaching children how to treat each other. That’s why I was fortunate in 2011 to discover what I believe to be the most refreshing, innovative and groundbreaking addition to what has become a tired and listless genre. A series of anti-bullying films entitled How to UnMake a Bully is, from my experience, able to speak to school aged children in a way nothing I have come accross ever has. Amongst other important life skills, it focuses on strategies for supporting victims of bullying, helping bullies change, empowering bystanders, reacting to low and high grade bullying scenarios, creating a schoolyard united stance on bullying, respecting others and ones self and adapting to change. My love for these movies and the way in which my students have responded to them have made a world of difference to my students’ lives and actions. So much so, that their fan letters and a subsequent Skype session with the cast and crew led to their participation in one of the upcoming films in this extraordinary series.

Instead of feeling despondent about anti-bullying programs, please watch these films (which I have posted below for your convenience) with your students. It will entertain and move them, whilst also setting a framework for increased communication, awareness and overall empowerment.

Enjoy!

10 Steps Parents Can Take if their Child is Being Bullied

September 17, 2013

wall

Courtesy of education.com:

  1. Make it safe for your child to talk to you. When your child comes to you to talk about a bullying experience, try to avoid having an emotional reaction. It can be scary for a child to hear that a parent is planning to lash out at a peer or parent. Calmly ask questions until you feel you completely understand the situation (Is it bullying, a peer conflict, or a misunderstanding?). Try not to leap into action right away, but instead focus on making sure your child feels taken care of and supported. Without blaming the bully, remind your kid that everyone has a right to feel safe and happy at school, and applaud the courage it took to take a stand and talk to you. Make a commitment to work with both your child and the school administration to resolve the issue.
  2. Teach your child to say “Stop!” or go find an adult. Research shows that most bullies stop aggressive behavior within 10 seconds, when someone (either a victim or a bystander) tells the perpetrator to stop in a strong and powerful voice. You, as the parent, can role-play an assertive response. Demonstrate the differences between aggressive and assertive and passive voices, as well as body language, tone of voice, and words used. If staying “stop” with an assertive voice does not work, teach your child to find an adult right away.
  3. Talk with your child’s principal and classroom teacher about the situation. Make it clear that you are committed to partner with the school in being part of the solution. Also emphasize that your expected outcome is that your child’s ability to feel safe and happy at school is fully restored. Ask the principal to share the school’s bullying policy, and make sure any action plan begins with notifying other teachers, recess aids, hallway monitors, and cafeteria staff so that everyone who comes in contact with your child can be on the lookout and poised to intervene should the bullying be repeated.
  4. Arrange opportunities for your child to socialize with friends outside of school to help build and maintain a strong support system. Try reaching out to neighborhood parents, local community centers with after-school activities, and your spiritual community. The more time your child can practice social skills in a safe environment, the better. Children who have friends are less likely to be bullying victims—and, if your child is bullied, friends can help ease the negative effects.
  5. Don’t go it alone. When supporting a child through a bullying situation, parents often discover previously unnoticed issues that may contribute to the child’s vulnerability. In addition to working with the school to help resolve the immediate issue, parents should also consider reaching out to physical and mental healthcare providers to discuss concerns about diagnosed or undiagnosed learning issues, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc.
  6. Encourage your child to stick with a friend (or find someone that can act as a buddy) at recess, lunch, in the hallways, on the bus, or walking home. Kids are more likely to be targeted when they are alone. If your child doesn’t have a friend to connect with, work with the school to help find someone to act as a safety partner.
  7. If cyberbullying is an issue, teach your child to bring it to the attention of an adult, rather than responding to the message. Many children fail to realize that saying mean things about someone on the Internet or through text messaging is a form of bullying. Make sure your child knows that you take cyberbullying seriously, and that you’ll be supportive through the process of handling the situation.
  8. Help your child become more resilient to bullying. There’s a lot parents can do to help “bully proof” their kids. Here are two biggies: first, provide a safe and loving home environment where compassionate and respectful behavior is modeled consistently. Second, acknowledge and help your child to develop strengths, skills, talents or other positive characteristics. Doing so may help your kid be more confident among peers at school.
  9. Provide daily and ongoing support to your child by listening and maintaining ongoing lines of communication. When your child expresses negative emotions about peers, it’s helpful if you acknowledge these feelings and emphasize that it’s normal to feel this way. After actively listening to the recounted bullying incident, discuss the practical strategies in this article together, especially the ones your child thinks will be most helpful.
  10. Follow Up. Even after your child’s bullying situation has been resolved, be sure to stay in touch with your child and the school to avoid a relapse of the issues. Keep the lines of communication open with your child, and learn the signs of bullying so that if another issue arises, you’ll be prepared to get involved early and effectively. Although a last resort, consider moving your child out of the current school or social environment. This may be a necessary action, and it sends the message that your child truly does not have to tolerate such treatment. Once established, social reputations among peers can be very difficult to eliminate. A fresh start in a new school environment may be a viable solution.

 

I would like to add another three steps of my own. Watch and discuss the following films with your child:

 

 

Click on the link to read The Devastating Effects of Bullying (Video)

Click on the link to read Sickening Video of Girl Being Bullied for Having Ginger Hair

Click on the link to read Our Young Children Shouldn’t Even Know What a Diet Is?

Click on the link to read Charity Pays for Teen’s Plastic Surgery to Help Stop Bullying

Click on the link to read Most People Think This Woman is Fat

Click on the link to read It’s Time to Change the Culture of the Classroom

The Commercial Directed at Kids that Promotes Bullying

August 17, 2013

 

Surely JC Penny could have come up with a more positive marketing campaign than this one.

 

Click on the link to read Tips for Parents of Bullied Children

Click on the link to read The Devastating Effects of Bullying (Video)

Click on the link to read Sickening Video of Girl Being Bullied for Having Ginger Hair

Click on the link to read Our Young Children Shouldn’t Even Know What a Diet Is?

Click on the link to read Charity Pays for Teen’s Plastic Surgery to Help Stop Bullying

Click on the link to read Most People Think This Woman is Fat

Click on the link to read It’s Time to Change the Culture of the Classroom

The Devastating Effects of Bullying (Video)

July 18, 2013

 

Comedian Michael Pritchard begins by entertaining a group of students before giving them a lesson on the effects of bullying they are never likely to forget.

 

Click on the link to read Tips for Parents of Bullied Children

Click on the link to read School Official’s Solution to Harassed Teen: Get a Breast Reduction

Click on the link to read Sickening Video of Girl Being Bullied for Having Ginger Hair

Click on the link to read Our Young Children Shouldn’t Even Know What a Diet Is?

Click on the link to read Charity Pays for Teen’s Plastic Surgery to Help Stop Bullying

Click on the link to read Most People Think This Woman is Fat

Click on the link to read It’s Time to Change the Culture of the Classroom