Posts Tagged ‘life’

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The Tragic Loss of a Student

October 12, 2011

I recently read a very sad blog post written by notswallowedinthesea.

I never imagined this could happen to me… Especially so early on in my teaching career!

But yesterday, first day of Term 4, and in all my excitement, I went back to the school where I teach music part time, excited to see my students and teaching them all the great things I have planned for them – only to be whisked into the staffroom and briefed by social workers on “how to deal with a death in school.” I looked around confused before the assistant principal came up to me and whispered in my ear that one of our prep kids was hit by a truck during the holidays in front of his mum and older sister (who is in Grade 2).

The AP told me the name of the student but it went past my head. I asked for the name again but it didn’t ring a bell. AP tried to describe him: “little blonde one”. There are so many “little blonde ones”. Which one? When I realized I did not recognize the name I sighed in relief, but only for a second. Because then I shuddered at the thought of not knowing the student. How on earth could I NOT know? I kicked myself for not learning the names of all my students soon enough. I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and couldn’t wait to break away from the staff room to locate the class list and photo so I can put a face to the name of the student. I have 14 music classes and about 20-28 in each class, so yes, I still don’t know the names of all the students! As the social worker was briefing us, I went through the faces of all my prep kids, trying in vain to remember Rex. Rex, the name is very familiar but I couldn’t put a face to it!

When the briefing was over, I spoke to the school counselor who gave me a bit more details about the accident, and pointed to me a picture of Rex. There he was, the little blonde one. Immediately I knew who he was! He was in my Top 5 students in the final class before the holidays! Sweet smiling Rex. Suddenly the memories overwhelmed me and I felt everything from grief to guilt. Grief because I had lost a student through the worst circumstance, and grief because I wished we could have spent more time together – or that I would have remembered him! It pains me that I couldn’t remember him in the first instant! Why didn’t God give us more time together? Why was he taken away so suddenly? Why hadn’t I paid more attention to him? Why couldn’t I remember him?!

It was awful. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t because my first class came in. I tried my best to hide my tears and answered questions about Rex as honest as I could without breaking down. I had never been in such a situation before, and I found it extremely difficult replying to students who have questions such as : “Why did it happen?” and “Where is he now?”

I know for a fact, because of my faith, that God is taking care of him, that things happen for a reason and that God is in control. But I cannot say this to my kids as I am not teaching in a Catholic school and I don’t want to cross any lines or upset any parents. How can I answer questions like these? I ended up avoiding them as much as I could!

The last class yesterday was Rex’s class, and I knew the moment the students came in that they were itching to tell me about Rex, about why he wasn’t in class and why he was never going to come back. But I went straight into my lesson, avoiding any questions, claiming I do not have time and that we had a lot to get through.

I had a lot to get through… a lot of emotions to get through. At lunch time I stumbled across Rex’s music book, I noticed his work for the first time. 2 weeks ago it was just a book belonging to one of the preps, just a book among the statistics, with scribbly drawings and terrible colouring techniques. Now, it is the precious work of a child no longer here on earth, and the horrifying truth that the child has had only 5 years in this world… not enough to learn how to colour in the lines, not enough to learn to write his name properly… not enough! Not enough!

I don’t know if I am angry. I am definitely not bitter. I know these things happen, and tragedies occur throughout the world. Who am I to complain and pound heaven for an answer? But the fact that it happened, TO ME, at this time has made me realize immensely how precious life is, how precious teaching is, and how fragile we human beings are.

While singing with the Preps yesterday I found myself staring into each student’s eyes, trying to take in as much of them as possible, drinking in their personalities and hoping that they will all come back again next week. I do not want anyone else to leave! I do not want any of them to get hurt!

But I cannot save them all… and I did not save Rex. Rex is gone. My class of 21 preps is now down to 20. He was hit by a truck, and died at the scene. Rex, who only 2 weeks ago I had given a piece of chocolate cake for making it into the Top 5 because he sat patiently for his book while others were shouting for it. Little blonde Rex.

I find myself looking towards the right everytime I pass his classroom to go to the staffroom or toilets. I keep looking because I still see his photo in the class wall, on the class door, on his table, his book shelf, his bag shelf, his music book…

I am only in my first year of teaching, and already I have had to deal with a student’s death. I wonder how much more will come? How much more can I take?

I was wondering if you have experienced something similar?  If so, what advice do you have for this teacher to help her get through this emotionally traumatic experience.

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Posted in Dealing With Tragedy | Leave a Comment »

The Motivation of a Bully

October 11, 2011

Recently I wrote about a cyberbully’s motivation.  The same can be true of a conventional bully:

It is my belief that cyber-bullying is often based on “dominance” and “popularity” rather than “hate”.  I don’t think most cyberbullies hate their victims.  Instead, I think they see them as stepping-stones to wider acceptance from their peer group.  Often the victims are minorities or outcasts.  The pressure to be in the “in group” has always been high.  For an “in group” to exist there needs to be a clearly defined “out group”.  It is often seen as a sort of right of passage for someone seeking popularity to kick the easy target.

This view seems to be backed up by a recent study conducted by CNN’s “Anderson Cooper 360°”:

A new study commissioned by CNN’s “Anderson Cooper 360°” found that the stereotype of the schoolyard bully preying on the weak doesn’t reflect reality in schools.

Instead, the research shows that many students are involved in “social combat” — a constant verbal, physical and cyber fight to the top of the school social hierarchy.

“Kids are caught up in patterns of cruelty and aggression that have to do with jockeying for status,” explains Robert Faris, a sociologist whom “Anderson Cooper 360°” partnered with for the pilot study. “It’s really not the kids that are psychologically troubled, who are on the margins or the fringes of the school’s social life. It’s the kids right in the middle, at the heart of things … often, typically highly, well-liked popular kids who are engaging in these behaviors.”

Faris, along with the co-author of the study, Diane Felmlee, also found that bullies, whom they call aggressors, and victims are not defined roles, but in many cases, they can be the same person. The higher students rise on the social ladder, the more they bully other students, and the more other students bully them.

“When kids increase in their status, on average, they tend to have a higher risk of victimization as well as a higher risk of becoming aggressive,” Faris says.

The study was conducted this spring at The Wheatley School, a nationally top-ranked high school on Long Island, New York. More than 700 students at the school were given a survey with 28 questions on aggressive behavior four separate times throughout the semester. They were also given a roster of the entire school in which every student had an identification number and kids were asked to write down specifically who did what.

This is part of the reason why I am so critical of the way bullies are handled at some schools.  So often the emphasis is on the actions of the bully and not on the social environment that encourages bullying behaviour in the first place.  That is why so much of  my energy is devoted to changing the social fabric of my class.

After all, bullying isn’t a priority – it is THE PRIORITY.  As a teacher, I am entrusted not with people’s money or belongings but with the most important and precious things they have – their children.  It is my responsibility to ensure that they are safe and secure.  Sure, I have to teach them and help them grow academically, but even more so, I have to do my best to make sure that the child they dropped off at my classroom is going to come back in as good if not better emotional shape than when they arrived.

When I speak to my class at the beginning of the year, I tell them there is a sure-fire way for them to have to repeat the year a second time.  It’s not if they find the work difficult or are struggling to pass assessments – it’s if they are not treating their classmates with respect.  Because if they are not ready to treat others with respect, they are not emotionally ready to go up a year level.

I’m not joking.  I really do mean it.

There is a lot of talk about ‘child centered learning’ vs ‘teacher centered learning’.  I prescribe to neither.  Instead, I believe in what I call “class centred learning”.  The main focus of my teaching is that everyone in the class must respect each other.  It is the fundamental rule for assessing my own performance.  They don’t have to be best of friends, but they absolutely must respect each other.  And ultimately, it is my duty to empower the class and create an environment of closeness and mutual respect.

Does it mean that there is no bullying in my classroom?  Absolutely not.  I wish.  I’m only an ordinary teacher.  What it means is, I take more interest in the welfare of my class than any other consideration.

On the topic of bullying, I again strongly recommend (not for the last time) this most brilliant anti-bullying film developed by young students in their own free time.  It is the best of its kind by a long, long way!

 

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Posted in Bullying | Leave a Comment »

Schools Should Become More Involved With Cyberbullying

October 8, 2011

At present schools have been able to turn a blind-eye to cyberbullying.   As the offence occurs out of school hours, schools have been only too happy to handball the problem to the parents of the bully.  Whilst I believe that parents are ultimately responsible for the actions of their children, I ask that schools do more to help deal with this ongoing problem.

The reason why I feel schools should involve themselves more actively with this issue is that most cases result from pre-existing schoolyard bullying.  Having started in the playground and classroom, the bullying then gets transferred online.  Whilst the school isn’t liable for what goes on after school, the problem is often a result of what started during school hours.

To me, the best schools are the ones that work with the parents in a partnership for the wellbeing of their students.  For a school to excel it needs to show that it cares about its students beyond its working hours.  That is why a teacher or staff member that is aware of cyberbullying must be able to do more than discuss the issue with the class.  They must be able to contact parents, impose sanctions and actively change the situation at hand.

We also have to understand what cyberbullying is and why kids do it.

I disagree with ABC online columnist, Hemu Nigam, who is of the view that cyberbullying is about “hating” others:

Suicides from cyberbullying are extreme cases that draw attention. Media and government attention are creating a panic around the wrong issue. The issue isn’t so much that a child killed himself because he was cyberbullied. He did it because he was subjected to hate crime — harassment based on sexual preference, race and the like — couldn’t get it to stop, and felt hopeless, eventually leading to suicide. Thus, the attention needs to go to the source. How do you teach young people to be kind, open, or at the very least accepting of kids different from them?

If we are to ever put a stop to bullying — wherever and however it takes place — we must step back for a moment and think of what we have done for many years before “cyber” became an indelible part of our language.

I am reminded of this lesson my father taught my brothers and me as we were growing up. Like many kids do, we would say we “hated” something or someone. Perhaps it was a certain food or a person in our school. My father always reminded us not to hate by not allowing us to use the word “hate.” We could simply express our feelings by talking about what we didn’t like about a thing or agree with about a person.

As we adopted this house rule, we found ourselves talking about things and people we liked more than the things and people we didn’t like. Today I find myself sharing the same lesson with my own children. I am hearing them talk about things they like about a person or thing without mentioning hate. The lessons that strengthen tolerance begin in the home, “cyber”-connected or not.

It is my belief that cyber-bullying is often based on “dominance” and “popularity” rather than “hate”.  I don’t think most cyberbullies hate their victims.  Instead, I think they see them as stepping-stones to wider acceptance from their peer group.  Often the victims are minorities or outcasts.  The pressure to be in the “in group” has always been high.  For an “in group” to exist there needs to be a clearly defined “out group”.  It is often seen as a sort of right of passage for someone seeking popularity to kick the easy target.

If my theory is right, there is even more reason for schools to see cyberbullying as a problem that they have a significant share in.

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Posted in Bullying, Cyber Bullying | 5 Comments »

Do Suspensions Really Work?

October 7, 2011

I have been reading about the dramatic increases in suspensions as a response to schoolyard violence and unruly behaviour.  A few months ago I wrote about the 900 British students reportedly suspended per day.

Today I noticed that more than 100 students in Australia are being suspended on a daily basis:

VIOLENT schoolyard attacks have marred the start of Term 4 as figures show more than 100 suspensions were handed out every school day last year for physical misconduct.

One student was stabbed in the head and four others bashed with a baseball bat in separate schoolyard incidents this week.

A 14-year-old girl was hospitalised at Tara, west of Dalby, on Wednesday after she was stabbed in the head allegedly by another student, 14, with a steak knife during a lunchtime scuffle.

Tara Shire State College went into lockdown shortly after 1.30pm and police were called.

A 14-year-old girl has been charged and will be dealt with under the Youth Justices Act. She has also been suspended. The injured student required stitches.

The question has to be asked: Are suspensions working?

In my day the threat of a suspension was extremely effective in moderating our behaviour.  But with so many seemingly disregarding the inevitable consequences of violent or unruly behaviour, I am of the opinion that suspensions are not working.  It seems an opportune time to consider an alternate form of action.

What has been your experience with suspensions?  Do they work in your school?

 

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Posted in Education Policy | 4 Comments »

Court Ruling Forces Teachers to Act Like Police Officers

October 6, 2011

Why is it that Government and now the courts think it’s appropriate to constantly change our role and responsibilities?  Why can’t we do the job we have been doing for centuries without having to take on new unfamiliar duties?

A 14-Year old was acquitted for holding up a service station and stabbing the attendant because the teacher he confided in reported it rather than caution him.  Apparently, the teacher had a duty to warn the student about his legal rights.  Because the teacher failed to have that discussion, the child got off.

TEACHERS could be forced to warn students as young as 10 about their legal rights before counselling them after a remarkable court decision.

A 14-year-old boy who confessed to his teacher that he robbed a service station and stabbed the attendant with a knife, has been acquitted after the District Court refused to allow the teacher’s statement into evidence because he had not “cautioned” the boy.

It could change the way teachers and students relate to each other, NSW Teachers Federation President Bob Lipscombe said yesterday.

“This is potentially very serious for teachers,” Mr Lipscombe said.

“Teachers are expected to provide advice, assistance and counselling to young people on a daily basis and during the course of that, many things are disclosed to teachers.

“Most are fairly insignificant but often there are matters disclosed that are quite significant and in such cases teachers have never been advised that they can only act on information if they have previously cautioned the student,” Mr Lipscombe said.

The federation was taking urgent legal advice, he said.

“No teacher in the course of their work would caution students in the way this case states,” he said.

“Clearly this teacher did think he was doing the right thing and acting responsibly.”

Last time I checked teachers were neither police officers or lawyers, so why should we be expected to act like them?  Surely this teacher acted responsibly, first for consulting his/her superior and then for reporting the matter.

What do they mean by giving a caution anyway?

“Next time, I recommend you not stab the person.  He may get hurt.”

Yet another ridiculous and insane development for Australian teachers.

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Posted in Education Policy | Leave a Comment »

Teaching is Worth It!

October 5, 2011

People who don’t know me well assume that I fell into teaching because it pays my bills.  They look at a male primary teacher and think that I must have been low on choices to pick a profession that the average man wouldn’t opt for in a million years.

Their impressions are all wrong.  In fact, I did have choices, but all I wanted to do was to teach.  It’s hard to explain to those who associate teaching with low pay, long hours, high stress, immense pressure and classroom management headaches.

I read a brilliant piece by student teacher Stephanie Vincent, entitled ‘Why I Really Shouldn’t Be a Teacher‘. She lists 3 reasons why she shouldn’t go down the path she is going – the workload, lack of recognition and the challenges stemming from difficult parents.

Yet, with all those detracting factors, she is very happy with her choice:

By becoming a teacher I will be lucky enough to spend every day doing something that I’m passionate about. From the first day of my teaching practicum I felt as though I had entered a sacred world, and I can confidently say that I want to spend my future there. Quite simply, I love teaching and children.

Luckily, I don’t seek recognition or a prestigious job. I want a job that excites me. Every day students remind teachers why they teach. This was made clear to me throughout my practicum experience. When I was able to connect with students or when I saw students’ eyes light up when they finally understood a difficult concept, I felt deeply rewarded. Students are why teachers teach.

But what about those difficult parents I mentioned? Although I have not yet had to deal with upset parents, I did deal with an upsetting experience. I worked with one student in particular in a one-on-one setting, and we developed a close bond. During my practicum her entire life was essentially flipped upside down, and she reached out to me. It was devastating to know what she was going through. I was helpless and questioned my ability to deal with it. I discussed my fears with my teaching associate, and as always, she was amazing. She reminded me that, as a teacher, I could help this student. Teachers are in a unique position in that they can provide every child in their class with a positive environment, for at least part of their day, and show them that someone cares.

Suddenly those three reasons I talked about above for not becoming a teacher seem far away. I cannot think of anything that I would rather do. I want to learn how to teach so that I can spend every day with students and so that we can learn from each other. Each and every student brims with energy and unrealized possibility. I want to help them release that energy and realize their potential. In the end, teaching is the most rewarding and enjoyable job anyone can do.

This was just a pleasure to read.  There is so much negativity surrounding this great profession, it is a joy to read from a passionate and driven teacher.  I wish Stephanie all the best during her training and beyond.  She presents as the type of teacher you’d want looking after your child.  She reminds disillusioned teachers that if they don’t feel the same way as she does, they should perhaps consider a change of career.

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Posted in Inspirational Teachers, Teacher Training, Teacher Welfare, Teachers Salary, Teachers Stress | 2 Comments »

What is the Obsession With Talking About Sex To Children?

October 4, 2011

Nearly every day there is some expert quoting some study about how important it is to talk about sex with your children.  Whilst I have no problem with the message, I wonder why it is constantly being regurgitated.

Why is it always, “teach your children about sex”?  What about teaching your children about manners, selflessness, hard work and respect for others?  Why aren’t these messages seen as important as the “birds and the bees”?

Now they’re telling parents they should talk to their 5-year olds about sex.  My child is 6 and she just discovered that the fish you eat is the same as the fish that swim.  Is this really the time to be discussing sex?

CHILDREN have sex for the first time between the ages of 14 and 15 says a new study, which also suggests that parents should talk to them about their sexuality from as early as the age of five.

I think I will shelve plans of having the “sex” talk for the time being.  I’ve got more pressing problems to tend to – like getting my daughter to eat fish again!

 

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Posted in Child Development, Parenting | 3 Comments »

Proposal to Adopt Shooting as Part of the Curriculum

October 4, 2011

“Where did you learn to shoot like that?”

“I learnt it at school.”

I have long said that there is rampant extremism in our educational system.  Educational thinking lacks balance and is certainly devoid of common sense.  Too often good intentions become crazy ideas because they are taken too far.

To read that the New South Wales Education Department would even consider for a brief moment a proposal to bring target shooting into schools just made me shake my head in disbelief.  Of all the stupid, irresponsible, insane ideas (and there’s too many of them to count), this one surely takes the cake:

High school students could be allowed to shoot guns during school hours under a plan by the NSW Education Department.

An internal department submission has revealed an advanced plan to allow target shooting into extra-curricular programs at the state’s 650 high schools, The Daily Telegraph reported on Tuesday.

It comes after the department consulted the NSW Shooters and Fishers Party and shooters associations about how to roll out target shooting into schools.

Deputy director-general schools Gregory Prior said the department was yet to make a decision about the issue.

Readers in the US might not flinch at such a program, but we in Australia do not have the right to bear arms in our constitution.  As a matter of fact, being in possession of a firearm is illegal.  Why on earth would we want to encourage in any way, shape or form the use of guns?

Sure it would engage disillusioned students.  It would be an absolute hit, I have no doubt about that.  But what kind of message would you be sendin?  Ask the kind folks of Columbine whether they think this initiative has merit.

Why can’t they think of responsible and productive ways to engage students?  Why does educational thinking continue to lean towards the radical instead of the sensible?

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Posted in Engaging Students | 5 Comments »

Ban on Raising Hands Gets ‘Thumbs Up’ From Me

October 4, 2011

I remember how frustrating it was to have to raise my hand before I could speak in class.  The teacher took what felt like an eternity to pick me.

First I would go for the conventional right arm raised high, complete with perfect posture and enthusiastic eye contact.  But then my arm grew tired.

Plan B was to swap arms, this time using the left, but with the same steely determination to get chosen.  But after a while, my arm would again become tired.

Finally I would go for the two arm job.  My right arm would be raised with my left used as support behind the elbow, propping it up in the hope that I could last until my name would eventually get the call.

And then, after all that, I would remain overlooked and reluctantly gave up the fight and threw in the towel.

And that was just to ask permission to go to the bathroom …

As you may have guessed I’m not a fan of raised hands.  It amazed me at Uni during tutorials how civil a lesson can be when raising hands was replaced by two simple unspoken rules – wait your turn and don’t interject.

That’s why I’m dumbfounded that a simple change like replacing hand raising with the far less strenuous “thumbs-up” motion, could me met with so much criticism:

Pupils at Burlington Junior School in Bridlington, East Yorks, have been asked to adopt the new hand signal to create a more relaxed classroom.

The children – aged eight and nine – have now been told to get the teachers attention by giving a thumbs up while cupping their hand.

But parents at the 360-pupil school have blasted the decision as “daft” after it was introduced at the beginning of this school year and say the clidren look like The Fonz, from the television comedy Happy Days.

Dad-of-three Dave Campleman, 44, who has two children at the school, said: “I thought it was a joke at first. It’s daft. I can’t see the logic in it.

“Fair enough if it was across the board, but I’ve not heard of any other schools doing it.

The driving instructor added: “I think it’s a bit pointless, it’s not benefiting their education – they could focus on other things.

“Kids are used to putting their hands up, it is natural for them. Being told to do something different just confuses them.

“I am just bemused by it. I think they should go back to the old way of putting your hand up in class.”

And teachers at the pupil school have even taken to putting up signs to discourage kids from raising their hand.

In one poster campaign plastered on the walls of classrooms, a thick red cross can be seen through an image of a raised arm to discourage children from using the old method.

Next to it is an image of a pupil doing a thumbs up aimed at helping pupils get to grips with the change.

Another parent, who has a son in the class but didn’t want to be named, said: “It is going to make the class look like they are all imitating the Fonz from Happy Days.

“On a serious note when these kids go up to secondary school next year they could be a laughing stock because all the other children will be putting up their hands.

“I think there should have been more consultation from the school with the parents over this and perhaps a trial first before an outright ban.

“I can’t really see it making the classroom more relaxed – they are young, excitable kids and putting up your thumb instead of your arm isn’t going to change that.”

It’s amazing how a simple change can create such angst.  I think the signs are a light-hearted send up of the stereotypical rigid school rule.  It’s not as if children are going to be punished for accidentally raising their hands.

As for the kids becoming a laughing-stock in High School, one might be surprised to know that children aren’t stupid.  Treat them like mature young adults and you may be in for a pleasant surprise.

 

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Posted in School Rules | Leave a Comment »

Truant Teachers

October 2, 2011

I remember getting very little in the way of useful advice during my teaching degree.  One of the worst and most irresponsible pieces of advice came from an English lecturer who said that we were going to get a generous amount of sick days per year and it is his recommendation that we use them all up whether we’re sick or not, because “we either use them or lose them.”

It says a lot about what our instructor thought of the profession.  Unfortunately, my instructors mirrored the disillusionment felt by many teachers all over the world.  Take the story of Kulvinder Billan for example:

A teacher of Indian-origin ‘played truant’ for two years by forging fake sick notes, but escaped being sent to prison.

Kulvinder Billan, 31, forged half a dozen sick notes and a letter from a leading doctor so he could get out of teaching at Weston Favell School, Northampton, Dail Mail reported today.

A court heard he was paid 33,000 pounds a year but could not face returning to teaching after being off work with stress and as a result his pupils were left with no consistent teaching and school had to shell out about 7,000 pounds to hire part time staff.

I personally hate taking days off.  I am not a control freak, but I must admit that I strongly prefer teaching lessons I have planned for.  The thought of others stepping in and taking my class makes me reluctant to take a day off.  I also find that the class often fails to adjust in the days after I’ve come back from sick leave.  They often take a few days to settle back into gear.

What is your view about sick days?  Do you subscribe to the “use them or lose them” policy?

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Posted in Truancy | 5 Comments »

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