Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

Loving Parents Are Allowed to Take Some Time Out

January 22, 2014

 

time

There is a pressure on parents to put their kids first in all instances. I can understand such a policy, but I’m not sure it work all that well. There are some times when parents, no matter how loving or emotionally available they are, need some personal time.

This personal time, whilst often coming with a fair amount of guilt, can be the best thing to refresh the mind and spirit of a parent. To those parents who have yet to allow themselves regular breaks, I bid you to read the sign posted above which I recently came across. I hope it provides you with the inspiration required to stake some well deserved time out.

 

 

Click on the link to read How Life Changes When You Become a Parent (Video)

Click on the link to read Have Our Children Stopped Dreaming?

Click on the link to read How to Spend Time With Your Kids When You Have No Time

Click on the link to read The Meaning of Being a Father (Video)

Click on the link to read 24 Signs You Are a Mother

Click on the link to read A Father’s Priceless Reaction to his Son’s Report Card (Video)

 

 

Kids Have Never Felt More Stressed

January 20, 2014

 

 

A new survey concludes that UK kids are as stressed as they’ve ever been, with the school environment given as reason for some of the blame. Whilst we can’t interfere with a child’s home life, I can’t understand why more isn’t done to make kids feel happier at school.

At the moment schools seem to be reactionary. Instead of providing the safe and warm environment they preach in their marketing material, they seem to wait for a problem to arise and then rely on their tired policies and often lackluster procedures.  This achieves their main goal of avoiding lawsuits, but does little to properly make the child a top priority.

As long as many schools continue to concentrate on avoiding bad publicity instead of delivering an environment their students can thrive in, the stress will continue to mount.

Above is a movie about adjusting to change and dealing with stress that is well worth watching with your child.

 

Click on the link to read Where is the Deterrent For Teachers Who Have Sex With Their Students?

Click on the link to read 6 Tips for Kids Who Worry Too Much

Click on the link to read Since When is Trying to Sell Your Baby a “Joke”?

Click on the link to read A World Where Sex Offenders Have “Human Rights” and their Victims Have None

Click on the link to read Schools Pick and Choose What They Implement

The Dangerous New Craze Adopted by Kids (Video)

January 19, 2014

smart

What ever happened collector cards and superhero figurines?

Parents in Rhode Island are being warned of a dangerous craze that involves middle-schoolers snorting Smarties.

According to officials in Portsmouth Middle School, the trend is a ‘widespread phenomenon’ that has been sweeping YouTube in recent years.

A search of the popular video-sharing site has revealed hundreds of clips where kids are seen crushing the beloved round candies into powder before sniffing them. 

The Smarties snorting trend is by no means a new phenomenon; some of the YouTube videos date back to at least 2007.

In one video posted in 2010, young boys are seen making lines of Smarties dust similar to cocaine and snorting the sugary powder through a rolled up dollar bill. 

The clip, which has drawn more than 12,000 views, shows the kids coughing and gasping for air as the residue fills their nasal passages and lungs.

Click on the link to read Robbie Williams Offers to Take Drugs With His Daughter

Click on the link to read Hilarious Parenting Checklist

Click on the link to read Hilarious Video of Twin Toddlers Sleeping at the Table

Click on the link to read The Most Effective Anti-Smoking Ad Ever Conceived

School Makes Children Pay to Use the Toilet

January 19, 2014

 

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What is it with obsessing over the learning time lost due to toilet breaks? Either these breaks are legitimate in which case it is our duty to ensure that our students have access to the toilet, or it is an excuse the child makes in order to get out of the classroom. If it is the latter, the teacher should see it not as an abuse of trust, but rather as constructive feedback. The child is clearly telling the teacher that the lesson is boring. Teachers that successfully engage their students don’t have an issue with needless toilet interruptions.

For those schools considering toilet policies such as making students forfeit class money or privileges in order to get a toilet break, I wish to remind them of the following:

1. Teachers should not play games about something as serious as a child needing to go to the toilet.

2. Children should never be made to feel guilty for frequent trips to the bathroom.

3. Surely there are bigger fish to fry than time wasted on toilet breaks.

4. How would teachers like it if they were charged for toilet breaks during staff meetings?

5. Schools share too many similarities to prisons as it is, yet you don’t hear of prisoners having to give up privileges in order to go to the toilet.

 

I am glad that a class rule obligating students to part with their fake class money in order to claim a toilet break was scrapped. What disappoints me is how that crazy rule was allowed to be enacted in the first place:

An Oregon elementary school came under fire this week after one parent objected to a policy requiring students in some classrooms to “pay” to use the bathroom during class. (The policy has since been revoked.)

Melissa Dalebout, the mother of first-grader Lily, told local news outlet KATU that her daughter had an accident recently at Cascades Elementary School because she didn’t want to use her “Super Pro” bucks to go the bathroom.

The bucks were a form of fake money that children at the Lebanon, Ore., school earned for good behavior. Bucks that weren’t spent on bathroom breaks were redeemable for toys at the school store.

“I just feel my children should not be punished for having to use the bathroom,” Dalebout told KATU.

Mommyish blogger Maria Guido wondered if this type of policy might send the wrong message to kids.

“I don’t want my child to develop strange bathroom habits because teachers have him on a bathroom rewards program,” Guido wrote. “Not okay. I understand rewarding good behavior, but this bathroom break policy does not sit well with me. If my child wet his pants because of this, I would be pissed.”

Cascades Principal Tami Volz told KATU that the Super Pro payment plan, as well as strategies where excessive bathroom users lost part of their recess time, were imperative for classroom management.

 

Click on the link to read When Standing Up for Your Students Gets You Fired

Click on the link to read Girl Faces Expulsion for Being a Victim of Bullying

Click on the link to read Cancer Sufferer Claims she was Banned from Daughter’s School Because of her “Smell”

Click on the link to read Top 10 Most Unusual School Bans

Click on the link to read Rules that Restrict the Teacher and Enslave the Student

Invaluable Rules for Getting Kids to Heat Healthy Food

January 9, 2014

 

tony

Courtesy of Charity Curley Mathews:

 

1. Everyone (over the age of 2) eats the same meal. No special requests, no substitutes for anyone who has all of her teeth. I do try to be fair (and stack the deck in favor of success) by adding a couple of choices and also paying attention to each person’s favorite ingredients so there’s always something for everyone in each meal.

2. Add spinach to everything. Eggs, brownies, I’ll make anything “Florentine.” It’s not sneaky, because I tell the kids it’s going in. I’m just looking for new angles for getting more of the good stuff into those tiny bodies. Ditto for wheat germ, flaxseed and chia seeds. Also, we eat whole wheat everything: pasta, bread, pitas. The kids don’t know any different and it’s so much better for them.

3. Make it fun. Inspired by French Kids Eat Everything, we have tons of pretty little plates and bowls, special spoons and sometimes splurge on fancy paper napkins. There are parfaits and tea parties regularly. My goal is to make mealtimes enjoyable so the kids associate eating real food with pleasure. It’s working.

4. Start with small portions. I give the kids only a bite or two of each thing and whoever wants more, gets more. This helps kids figure out when they’re actually full rather than me coaxing them into “just one more bite” or worse, eating until their plates are empty from here on out.

5. Serve new foods with flair. We often use the fancy little bowls for new foods: I give the kids one bite in a special dish. Then I use an idea from the brilliant new book, It’s Not About the Broccoli. The kids become critics and give a thumbs up, thumbs in the middle or thumbs down. And if they give a thumbs down verdict, I’ll say, “That’s OK. You can try it again another time and maybe you’ll like it better then.” Planting the seed…

6. We cook all the time. Since I only work part-time, this works for us but any family could create a cooking culture by doing weekly dinners, big weekend breakfasts and so on. I cook breakfast, lunch and dinner almost every day; the kids see me doing it and right there they’re learning a lesson that real food is a priority for our family. Plus, it’s fun to let them help and that’s another lesson. My goal is for each person to have a dozen dishes they can make before they leave this house. We’ve got a while, which we’ll probably need…

7. The table is a stress-free zone. Toddlers dumping their plates notwithstanding, the dinner table isn’t stressful because we’re not battling the kids over who eats what. The food is there and manners are encouraged but no one is yelling, or prodding. We’re either sitting, eating or talking. Sometimes singing. If this isn’t possible, whoever is having a hard time will be excused along with mom or dad and welcome to return when he or she is feeling more cooperative.

8. Homemade is better than processed. Especially when it comes to snack foods, it’s easy to either give the kids real food — sliced cucumbers, dried cranberries, chunks of cheese — or make our own versions of crackers, fruit leather, DIY “Nutrigrain” bars and so on. Every time you can make something in your own kitchen, it’ll be fresher, purer and almost always healthier.

9. Two snacks, maximum. Because little bodies burn through their calories in the day, I like to give a mid-morning and a mid-afternoon snack to avoid meltdowns. But constant eating is a big problem these days and I don’t want the kids to learn that habit. In fact, for the afternoon snack I like to stick to fruit and it can be as simple as apple slices or as sweet as bananas and strawberries on a skewer.

10. The kids drink water and milk, period. Once juice and soda are off the table (literally and figuratively), it’s not even something to fight about. Our kids have two choices for drinks, they like both of them and best of all — they’re both healthy options.

Food is such a huge part of our lives that I can’t help thinking about it, learning about it, and yep, writing about it. It’s bigger than just our family, though. Food has huge implications for health, happiness, even our country’s financial well being. With obesity declared an “epidemic,” diabetes affecting more Americans than ever and the first ever generation of Americans to have shorter lifespans than their parents, Michael Pollan said “cooking might be the most important factor in fixing our public health crisis. It’s the single most important thing you can do for your health.” I would add it’s one of the most important things that we can teach our kids.

 

 

Click on the link to read Tips to get Children to Eat Better and Exercise More Often

Click on the link to read 10 Tips for Promoting Kids’ Healthy Eating

Click on the link to read my post on Tips For Parents on Packing a Healthy Lunch Box

Click on the link to read my post on Getting Kids to Eat Healthy Food

Click on the link to read my post on 6 Strategies for Promoting Healthy Food to Kids.

 

6 Tips for Kids Who Worry Too Much

January 8, 2014

 

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Courtesy of psychologist Daniel B. Peters, Ph.D.:

1. Make a worry list.
Have your child make a list of all his or her worries and fears, both small and large. Just the act of recognizing and writing down worries can sometimes make the scary emotions seem less intimidating for your child. This allows you to identify which worries and fears you want to work on with your child, tackling one by one together.

2. Practice thinking strategies.
Help your children convert their worries into reassurances by teaching them new thinking strategies. For example, if their consistent worry is “I am afraid my mom won’t pick me up from school,” have them replace it with “I know my mom is coming for me because she ALWAYS does.” Together, you can say each worry and fear and come up with new sentences to combat the old. Practice these with your kids until they become habitual replacements for the old, incessant worries. This is a key skill for building resilience.

3. Don’t skimp on sleep.
Make sure your child gets enough sleep on a regular basis. Well-rested equals well-equipped mentally and physically to deal with minor daily stresses. The National Sleep Foundation recommends that 3- to 5-year-olds get 11-13 hours a night, 5- to 12-year-olds get 10-11 hours per night, and teens get 9.25 hours per night (although some do fine with 8.5 hours).

4. Make good nutrition a priority.
Make sure your child gets a steady dose of protein throughout the day. Many kids experience low blood sugar, also known as hypoglycemia. Low blood sugar usually occurs a few hours after breakfast and it looks and feels a lot like anxiety: they feel dizzy, start sweating, feel weak, and their heart beats really fast. Staying away from caffeine and energy drinks is also recommended as they mimic the effects of adrenaline and cause people to feel anxious.

5. Get some exercise.
Exercise burns adrenaline. If it’s not already a part of your child’s daily routine, add daily exercise to your child’s plan, and let him know that not only is it good for his body, but it will help keep the Worry Monster away. Exercise can include any activities that your child enjoys such as swimming, shooting baskets, hiking, soccer, dodge ball, tennis, martial arts, jumping rope, rock climbing, bicycling, dancing, gymnastics or yoga. Anything that increases your child’s heart rate will help fight the Worry Monster.

6. Don’t underestimate distraction.
Arm your children with a little healthy distraction. Let them pick a favorite activity such as ten minutes on the computer playing a brain game, time out for reading a favorite book, watching a half hour television show or bike riding around the block — and allow them to do that activity whenever a worry attack comes on. This allows them to combat worry with pleasure and takes their mind off the often paralyzing thoughts and feelings brought on by the Worry Monster. Before you and they know it, they have been distracted from their worries.

 

Click on the link to read Since When is Trying to Sell Your Baby a “Joke”?

Click on the link to read A World Where Sex Offenders Have “Human Rights” and their Victims Have None

Click on the link to read Schools Pick and Choose What They Implement

Click on the link to read 8 Year Old Indian Girl Divorces her 14 Year Old Husband

What is the Difference Between Over-Praising Children and Lying to Them?

January 8, 2014

 

praise

Over-praising children is tantamount to lying to them. If a teacher or parent needs to resort to embellishment then they have misread the child.

Developing trust is absolutely not negotiable when it comes to children. Once you are caught out on a lie or exaggeration you stand to lose the trust of the child, rendering everything else you say as meaningless.

But over-praising isn’t just lying, it is lazy. Every child has unique and interesting aspects to their personality. Every child possesses skills and praiseworthy character traits. If you find yourself over-praising your student, it means that you haven’t yet fully appreciated the child for who he/she is.

One can only love ones self if one understands themself. Self-confidence can only be attained once the person is in tune with his/her true abilities. That’s why genuine praise is so profoundly important. By reminding children of their legitimate positive aspects and traits, you will help them get in touch with who they are and what they can be.  If you lie to them, sooner or later they will work it out and may choose to dismiss or neglect their greatest qualities as a result.

Some would say if you haven’t got anything authentic to say, don’t say anything at all. I say, don’t stop until you have something real to praise a child with.

And then keep on supporting that child to the best of your abilities. They are worth it!

 

 

Click on the link to read The Skills Kids Can Learn from Traditional Board Games

Click on the link to read Our Impressionable Children are Desperately Looking for Positive Rolemodels

Click on the link to read The Plus Sized Barbie Debate Misses the Point

Click on the link to read Study Claims that Being Attractive can give you Better Grades

Click on the link to read The Unique Challenges that Body Image Represents for Females

The Skills Kids Can Learn from Traditional Board Games

January 5, 2014

 

board

Wall street Journal writer Laura Perez, lists some skills that family games has taught children over the years:

It has taught them to be good actors. My children have great poker faces. They will bluff you in cards and convince you their made-up dictionary definition is legitimate. They’ll pass you some pretty shabby cards in Hearts with a sweet smile.

Now, don’t get me wrong: I don’t want my kids to become amoral liars. But learning to beguile, to read others, to keep emotions in check, to negotiate skillfully—all these can be useful in life.

It has improved their vocabulary. You can’t win at word games if you don’t know lots of words. And they know a lot. Piebald, anyone? I knew I’d never win Scrabble again when my youngest cleared her tiles with “reevict.”

They have gained presentation skills and grace under fire. I have a few shy ones, but it’s pretty hard to be shy during our family battles. Whether it’s charades or Pictionary, they have to know their audience, think conceptually on their feet and not let a countdown paralyze them.

It has taught them to be great guessers. Being smart about guessing is crucial in so many of the games we play—such as Trivial Pursuit or Clue or Botticelli, which is like 20 Questions on steroids. True, mastery of 1980s pop-culture trivia may not be a college entrance requirement. But learning how to reduce the possible answers to two from four definitely helps. And I have the proof on some recent PSATs.

It has taught them critical thinking. “It really helps develop their brains,” John says. We both noticed 16-year-old Riley’s concentration and animation a few days ago across the chess board from her uncle. They’re aware of the concepts of strategy and planning and go through life now instinctively solving puzzles.

It has taught them patience and sportsmanship. They’re still willing to play games with me. And when I lose they’re so encouraging!

It has unleashed their imagination. Games like Think Fast or role-playing computer games require the kids to use their creative skills. Riley says she doesn’t get people who don’t play games. “It’s like when people say they don’t like to read. It’s like going on an adventure.”

Most important, it has taught them to not fear failure. Our kids haven’t cared about the odds against them. Their egos aren’t fragile. Games have taught them that they need to risk failing if they want to succeed. I’ve been blown away by how much the kids actually love losing. Isabella, 12, says it’s fun to fling yourself off a cliff and make a crazy chess move.

When she loses, she says, “we don’t care that much. We don’t throw a fit, we accept it and play again.”

 

Click on the link to read Our Impressionable Children are Desperately Looking for Positive Rolemodels

Click on the link to read The Plus Sized Barbie Debate Misses the Point

Click on the link to read Study Claims that Being Attractive can give you Better Grades

Click on the link to read The Unique Challenges that Body Image Represents for Females

Click on the link to read An 8-Year-Old’s Take on Body Image

The Myth Concerning Children and Divorce

December 31, 2013

 

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There is a myth currently circulating about the effect of divorce on children. Some are of the belief that since divorce has become so common, children are better able to deal with it. This is complete rubbish and is rejected by the evidence.

Just because something is more common doesn’t make it any easier to adjust to:

Divorced parents are often in denial about how badly the break-up has damaged their children, a survey has found.

More than three quarters believed their children had ‘coped well’ – even though just 18 per cent of youngsters said they were happy with the situation.

Many parents fail to notice that their children are turning to drink and drugs, or even considering suicide, the poll found. Some were insensitive enough to break the news of the divorce to their children by text.

One in five of the children polled felt there was no point confiding in either their mother or father because they were ‘too wrapped up in themselves’.

The survey, by parenting website Netmums, polled about 1,000 divorced parents and 100 children aged eight to 18 from broken homes.

Although it featured only a relatively small pool of youngsters, a stark picture emerged of the struggles that many of them face when coping with their parents’ break-up.

One in 20 had turned to alcohol and one in nine had deliberately wounded themselves. A further 6 per cent had considered suicide, while two of those polled had tried to kill themselves.

Almost a third described themselves as devastated by divorce, while one in 12 thought that it meant their mothers and fathers ‘didn’t love them’ and had ‘let  them down’.

But despite the damage wrought by their parents splitting, few children felt able to speak openly and honestly about their emotions.

Nearly 40 per cent said they hid their feelings from their parents because they did not want to  upset them.

Many children felt forced to look after their mothers and fathers as the relationship broke down, and 35 per cent claimed that one parent had tried to turn them against  the other.

To make things worse, parents often vastly underestimated the impact of their behaviour on their sons and daughters, the survey found. Only 8 per cent admitted trying to turn their children against their partner.

And just 10 per cent said their children had seen them fighting – even though 31 per cent of youngsters told of witnessing rows.

One in ten knew their children were hiding their true feelings about the divorce but fewer than one per cent were aware of them drinking, self harming or taking drugs to cope.

 

Click on the link to read The Psychological Impact of Divorce on Children

Since When is Trying to Sell Your Baby a “Joke”?

December 28, 2013

 

ad

 

There is absolutely nothing funny about the ad above. I have no sympathy for parents who find it funny to put their children up for sale on websites, even if they only did it for a laugh:

A young mother tried to sell her four-month-old boy on the internet for £150,000, it emerged last night.

The 20-year-old advertised the ‘beautiful’ baby for sale on the Gumtree classifieds website on Boxing Day.

Police and social services were alerted after scores of people saw the ad and dialled 999.

Officers traced the woman and took the child and his two-year-old brother into care.

Last night the single mother, who suffers from post-natal depression, said the advert was just a ‘silly joke’ that backfired.

She claimed she had been dared to post it, but had no intention of going through with the sale and has been left devastated that her two sons have been taken away.

The full-time mother from Bradford said: ‘I had been joking with my ex about selling sperm and eggs and he sort of dared me to put up a baby for sale – but I didn’t mean our children.

 

Click on the link to read A World Where Sex Offenders Have “Human Rights” and their Victims Have None

Click on the link to read Schools Pick and Choose What They Implement

Click on the link to read 8 Year Old Indian Girl Divorces her 14 Year Old Husband

Click on the link to read Meet the Ten Year Old Girl Who has had a Thousand Criminals Arrested