Posts Tagged ‘Parenting tips’

The Mother Who Tried to Sell Her Kids on Facebook for $4,000!

March 12, 2013

reckless

 

An utterly shameless and reckless act from a mother who clearly doesn’t realise that having children is a precious gift:

Here’s a quick parenting tip: it’s not OK to offer to sell your children on Facebook, even if you really need the money.

Misty VanHorn, a 22-year old mother of two in Sallisaw, Oklahoma, found that out the hard way over the weekend.

VanHorn was arrested on Saturday for the alleged trafficking of minors on Facebook – offering her 10-month old and her 2 year-old for $US4000 ($3890).

According to the police report, VanHorn offered her children several times on the social network – offering the 10-month old girl for $US1000 ($972), or both of them for $US4000. And she had a taker.

Police believe VanHorn wanted the $US1000 to bail her boyfriend out of jail.

VanHorn was dealing with a woman in Fort Smith, Arkansas, according to The Oklahoman. This means she could be charged with a federal crime because the act would have crossed state borders.

“Just come to Sallisaw, it’s only 30 minutes away and I’ll give you all of her stuff and let y’all have her forever for $1000,” read VanHorn’s Facebook message to the Fort Smith woman, as unearthed in the police report by the Daily Dot.

She is being held on a $US40,000 ($38,900) bond. The children are in the custody of the state’s department of human services, which alerted the police in the first place.

A word of caution for anyone rushing to Facebook to find the alleged perpetrator: there are multiple Misty VanHorns on the social network. Two of them live in Oklahoma. One looks similar to the mugshot released by the Sequoyah County Police Department, but does not appear to live in VanHorn’s town, Sallisaw.

 

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Strategies for Helping Children Deal With Mistakes

December 5, 2012

mistakes

Courtesy of Dr. Robyn Silverman:

  1. Encourage healthy risk-taking: A sad sight is a child who stands on the sidelines of life because they are so afraid to try and fail. Talk to your children about taking healthy risks that push them out of their comfort zone and provide learning, fun and growth. Support them by saying things like; “The most important thing is that you try!” “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!” “You’ll never know unless you try!” and “Everything you love to do began when you took a risk and tried!”
  2. Applaud the chutzpah, effort and character rather than just the result: If it’s all about the win, the A, the goal scored or the lead in the play, fear of trying certainly can follow. Instead, celebrate the courage it took to try. Applaud the effort it took to achieve. Highlight the character it took to persevere and stay focused. Say; “one thing I know about you is that when you decide on a goal, you go all the way. You stay on track and keep going until you get there—and I, for one, think that is AMAZING!”
  3. Let them know mistakes are normal and an important part of learning! Assure your children that making mistakes is OK. Most things are not done perfectly the first time—even when you’re an adult. It doesn’t mean “the end of the world” and there is no reason to be embarrassed. Ask them; what does this mistake teach you? What will you know for next time? What will you know next time that you didn’t know before? Mistakes make you wiser not lesser!
  4. Share your mistakes with them: I’m not talking about full disclosure of every bad thing you’ve done. However, you can share mistakes you made when you were young, how you handled them and what you learned from them. You can also share how these mistakes prepared you for the next time you were faced with a similar challenge or choice. Children often think their parents are perfect—we must show that we are not infallible…and that we can still be successful anyway!
  5. Apologize & show accountability in action: One of the most powerful things we can do when we make a mistake is to show our children how to be accountable for it, apologize, and do what we can to fix the problem we created. By doing so, we show our children that everyone is in charge of “cleaning up their own messes;” even adults. We demonstrate that making things better is within our power and making mistakes is not the end of the world.
  6. Teach them to look back: Young children aren’t really skilled in answering “why” questions so inquiring “why” they did something often results in the fruitless answer; “I don’t know.” Instead, ask these two “what” questions when they make a mistake: “What did you do?” (so they can claim ownership and responsibility) and “What happened when you did that?” (so they can understand cause and effect). When they can tell you what happened and how it affected them and others, they are taking the first step towards being accountable: admitting their contribution to the problem.
  7. Teach them to look forward: Children need to learn to take action when they make a mistake or contribute to a problem. The mistake isn’t the end, but rather, the beginning of the learning.  You get a bad grade on a test—>study longer, get extra help, study differently.  You break something—>apologize, ask for forgiveness, ask how you can make it better. I tell my children; “the most important part of making a mistake is cleaning up your mess once you make it…that’s what it means to have character.” Ask these two questions: “What are you going to do?” and “By when are you going to do it?” When they come up with a plan and have a date or deadline, they are more likely to stay accountable.
  8. Ensure that they have an accountability partner: Whether we are speaking about a child, a teen or an adult, people work best when they are accountable to others. You can be your children’s accountability partner or someone else they know such as an older sibling, grandparent, coach, or mentor can assume that position. Ask them; “How will your accountability partner know that you did what you said you were going to do?” They can tell, text, write, call or check something off a list when the task has been completed.
  9. Create the teachable moment if you have to do it: Many children strive to be perfect. They avoid mistakes at all costs. The older children get without making mistakes, the bigger an impact it can make when they finally do. Sometimes it’s necessary to put your children in a position of making a likely mistake so that they can experience it, rectify it and learn for themselves that mistakes are OK. We want them to make mistakes when stakes are low so they know what to do when they are older and the stakes are higher. Encourage them to try the sport they’ve never tried. Have them take a test that they are likely to fail. Once they don’t succeed, teach them to try again and point out that perfection is not the goal.
  10. Thank them for admitting their mistake and coming to you: It can be tough to admit wrongdoing—so when your children come to you with the truth, commend them for it. You are setting up an expectation on both sides that you want them to come to you when they need help or when things aren’t going right and that you will be there when they are truly in need. Sometimes you will simply need to be a coach—reflecting what they are saying, asking powerful questions and brainstorming possible solutions. Other times you will be a source of advice. Still other times, you may simply be a shoulder to cry on or a wall to bounce ideas off of—our role may not be “savior” but that doesn’t mean we don’t play a role in our children’s learning and growth. We most certainly do.

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100 Skills Parents Should Teach Their Children

August 27, 2012

 

Courtesy of blog.sfgate.com:

  1. Love one another
  2. Tie shoes
  3. Swim
  4. Brush and floss daily
  5. Ride a bike
  6. Do a somersault
  7. Fly a kite
  8. Make a bed
  9. Read before going to bed
  10. Put your napkin in your lap at the dinner table
  11. Say please and thank you
  12. Cook a meal
  13. Watch TV (and play video games) in moderation
  14. Apply sunscreen
  15. Sew on a button
  16. Tell time using a non-digital clock
  17. Treat others with kindness and respect
  18. Blow a runny nose into a tissue
  19. Eat one bag (not three bags) of potato chips
  20. Throw a ball
  21. Skip a rock
  22. Jump rope
  23. Wipe from front to back
  24. Hammer in a nail
  25. Be a good sport
  26. Write a thank-you letter
  27. Iron a pair of pants
  28. Make healthy food choices
  29. Fix a leaky faucet
  30. Catch a fish
  31. Develop self control
  32. Resolve a dilemma
  33. Read a map
  34. Be respectful to elders
  35. Show compassion
  36. Apologize when you are wrong
  37. Use a public restroom
  38. Do the laundry
  39. Grow something like flowers
  40. Balance a checkbook
  41. Have confidence
  42. Make a pie crust from scratch
  43. Speak in front of a group
  44. Take public transportation
  45. Fight courageously, lose graciously
  46. Save a life using CPR or the Heimlich maneuver
  47. Clean up a mess
  48. Study for a test
  49. Turn off all the lights before leaving the house
  50. Properly pop a zit
  51. Dress for the occasion
  52. Sing at least one song well
  53. Dance
  54. Have safe sex
  55. Know when to say no
  56. Write a sonnet, or at least a limerick
  57. Make an honest dollar
  58. Save money, and spend wisely
  59. Do your research
  60. Look someone in the eye during a conversation
  61. Find a book in a library
  62. Wrap a present
  63. Remove a chocolate stain
  64. Tie a tie (bonus points for a bow tie)
  65. Apply mascara
  66. Read a newspaper
  67. Donate time to those less fortunate
  68. Be independent
  69. Be confident
  70. Sneeze and cough into your arm
  71. Lead
  72. Speak a second language, especially Spanish
  73. Ask questions
  74. Hold a baby
  75. Accept others for their differences
  76. Manage stress
  77. Distinguish needs from wants
  78. Negotiate
  79. Support yourself
  80. Comfort others
  81. Write an essay
  82. Take a taxi home (or call mom) when you’re not fit to drive
  83. Add, subtract, multiply, and divide without using a calculator
  84. Get along with people you may not like that much
  85. Deal with tragedy
  86. Build a campfire (and put it out)
  87. Open a bottle of champagne
  88. Celebrate and congratulate
  89. Use chopsticks
  90. Deal with rejection and disappointment
  91. Parallel park
  92. Drive a stick shift
  93. Change a flat tire
  94. Parallel park with ease
  95. Use a fire extinguisher
  96. Bake a cake
  97. Pitch a tent
  98. Pick a piece of fruit that’s ripe
  99. Look on the bright side
  100. Listen

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