Posts Tagged ‘Parents’

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Should Parents Be Allowed to Smack Their Children?

January 29, 2012

Parenting is a difficult job, and as much as I am not in favour of smacking, I think it inappropriate for me as a loving yet imperfect parent to impose restrictions on other parents. How they choose to discipline their children should not be up to me or our politicians.

I believe that smacking does little good in the long-term and can potentially do a disservice to the child. Yet, I was smacked by my parents and have nothing but respect for the way they reared me. They clearly disciplined me out of love and an unwavering determination to enforce healthy routines and boundaries, not out of frustration.

I realise that smacking can escalate into worse cases of abuse, and I naturally abhor the abuse of children. I must say, that I also dislike the spoiling of children and the indifference of some parents in setting boundaries and enforcing consequences for their childs’ unruly behaviour.

Advocate good parenting skills and practices by all means, but don’t stop parents from doing what they feel is right for their own children.

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Posted in Child Welfare, Parenting | 6 Comments »

The Importance of a Healthy Parent-Teacher Relationship

January 22, 2012

One of the most important skills of a successful teacher is the ability to harness positive interactions with parents. I believe that a teacher must consider themselves part of a team. After all, the parents and teacher form the three major stakeholders in a child’s education.

Such a notion is supported by expert Karen Campbell.

A GOOD parent-teacher relationship is important to every child’s learning journey and helps develop a memorable school experience.

That’s the opinion of Sunshine Coast education expert Karen Campbell.

And like any relationship, she says these need nurturing and constant attention to be of benefit to the child.

With the new school year only a week away, many parents may be meeting their child’s teacher for the first time.

“Parents have to realise that a teacher is such an important part of their child’s life,” Mrs Campbell, a tuition facilitator and former teacher, said.

“They need to introduce themselves to the teacher, and tell the teacher any special things about their child.

“Open communication is essential, so it’s important for parents to inform the teacher if there’s a problem at home such as a death, break-up or business failure.

“This allows teachers to develop an understanding and appreciate why a child may be behaving a certain way.”

Not all parents are easy to get along with and some employ methods that are not exactly to my liking, but I realise that a disconnect between myself and the childs’ parents is potentially destructive to the academic progress of the child.

It is important to work past any differences one may have and find common ground in the best interests of the child.

Tips for healthy parent-teacher relationships:

  • Re-introduce yourself to your child’s teacher by appointment
  • Inform your child’s teacher of any home-related problems
  • Volunteer to help with school activities
  • Make sure you adopt the same learning style at home as at school
  • Notify the teacher of any special talents or gifts your child may have
  • Open the lines of communication through casual conversations outside the classroom, for example, when dropping off your child or picking them up

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Posted in Parenting, Teaching Methods | 4 Comments »

Research Suggests That There’s no Such Thing as a Good Divorce

December 19, 2011

I feel very sorry for children of divorced parents who find themelves the center of a tug-of-war act between duelling parents on Christmas Day.

At Christmas time, like no other, family relationships are put to the test.

This time of year seems to bring not only a rise in domestic violence, but family tension and relationship breakdown.

So much for the season of peace and goodwill.

Fights over who will get the kids on Christmas Day are common, and children are often forced to spend Christmas traipsing across town to keep both parents happy.

Many argue that since divorce is so rampant, children are able to adapt with the change extremely well. This is simply not the case.

Research suggests that there’s no such thing as a good divorce: All you can do is have a breakup that is not as bad as it might be.

A US study of 994 families identified three types of post-divorce parents: Those who were co-operatively continuing to parent together, those who were parallel parenting with little communication, and those who were effectively single parents.

Children from the first group – the good divorce group – had the smallest number of behavioural problems and the closest ties to their fathers.

However, the differences were only minor, and the children in this group didn’t score any better than others on 10 additional measures, such as self-esteem, school grades, early sexual activity and closeness to their mothers.

 

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Posted in Children and Divorce | Leave a Comment »

Experts Call For Homework to Be Abolished

December 12, 2011

I was once strongly opposed to homework, but I have since softened my approach. It’s not that I believe homework is a good thing, it’s just that I have observed what children do withn the extra time and I can’t say it’s productive. Quite apart from playing in the backyard or walking the dog, kids are more likely to spend their waking hours on the computer or watching television.

Whilst experts believe abolishing homework will free up time for healthy activities, the truth is that it will only result in more time in front of a screen.

CHILDREN are spending too much time “sitting around”, looking at screens and doing homework, when they should be outside playing.

New Deakin University research suggests parents should encourage children to play the old-fashioned way outside with mates rather than nagging them to complete homework or allowing them to watch TV or use computers, the Geelong Advertiser reports.

Associate head of research at Deakin’s School of Exercise and Nutrition Sciences, Professor Jo Salmon, yesterday said pushing kids outdoors to play would help improve the health and happiness of children.

Parents needed to set rules around the amount of screen time children were allowed every day, and enforce a limit of two hours in total, Professor Salmon said.

They should also try not to place too much academic pressure on their kids and recognise that playing outside and being active was probably better for children than sitting inside practising spelling or sums.

While previous generations of children would come home from school, have a quick snack and then head straight outside to play until dinner time, most children now came home from school and propped on the couch, their bed or at a desk, she said.

Recently named one Australia’s top child health researchers by the National Health and Medical Research Council, Professor Salmon said while she was an optimist by nature, she was concerned for the future health of Australian children.

I was once an optimist too. I hoped that instead of homework, my students could help wash dishes or take on some other household duties. I hoped they could go to the library and borrow books. But that is not what happens in reality.

So I am now faced with a choice. Do I prescribe homework that serves as revision for skills taught during the week in class or do I just let them use the extra time for more television and video games?

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Posted in Homework | 5 Comments »

Report Writing That Says a Lot Without Saying Anything

November 25, 2011

It’s report time again, which means the long nights and deep frustrations have arrived.  Many will think I’m strange, but when I first started in  teaching, I was looking forward to writing reports. I saw it as an opportunity to inform the parents about how well I know their child. Communication with parents has always been very high up my priority list, and I saw reports as the centrepiece of good quality communication.

But since I became a teacher the rules for report writing has changed, and we are all worse of as a result.

The Government has legislated that reports all feature the same grading system and the same essential sections.  Two such mandatory inclusions include a list of skills in every area that the students need improvement in and what the school will do to address these needs.

Sounds good, right?

Wrong. Schools across Australia are so terrified that if the teacher doesn’t end up addressing the needs of the students as promised in the reports, then it will open them up to litigation. So schools have quickly searched for a loophole, a strategy designed to be seen to guarantee things to parents without actually guaranteed anything.

And out of that think tank came every teachers new buzz word – ‘encourage’.

“The school will encourage Max to underline key words when reading worded questions.”

“The school will encourage Rita to use rubrics before planning a piece of writing.”

So in the end, the school is offering no actual response to the child’s needs, just some “airy fairy” words that don’t actually mean anything.

And then there’s the “education” words that don’t make any sense to most parents.  Because many teachers are expected to leave out hard truths like, “Max doesn’t behave in class” and “Rita doesn’t apply enough effort”, teachers have employed words that the average parent wouldn’t understand.

For example, teachers love using words that start with “meta” like “metacognitive”, “metalanguage” and “metabolic steroids” (OK, maybe not the last one).  As the custom is to spare the school of angry or dissatisfied parents, teachers have become great at writing reports high on words and low on substance.

It’s actually harder and more tiresome than it sounds.

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Posted in Reporting | 4 Comments »

Give Parents a Break

August 30, 2011

Whilst there has and will always be bad parents, society seems very keen to judge well-meaning and loving parents far too harshly.

Parenting isn’t easy.  For all my dedication, there are times when I feel like I’ve got it wrong.  I make mistakes and I reflect and try to improve.  I’m not perfect and I’m never going to be, but it doesn’t stop me from trying my very best.

Yet the media keeps on reporting about mothers who don’t breastfeed, children who are overweight, parents who don’t discipline enough or who over-discipline or who choose childcare for their babies etc.  It’s almost as if there is an unofficial game between some members of society to make themselves feel better about their own parenting performance by panning others.

One of the trends becoming more and more popular is for children to sue their parents.  We are not talking about for child abuse or criminal activity, but rather for nothing more than being flawed parents.  Take this example doing the rounds about children suing their mother over a birthday card:

They alleged Garrity failed to take Kathryn to a car show and threatened Steven II with phoning police if he did not buckle his seatbelt.

The children claim she ‘haggled’ over dress prices and called at midnight to tell Kathryn to come home from a party, reported the Chicago Tribune.

The birthday card in question was labelled ‘inappropriate’ by Steven II as it allegedly failed to include any money.

Whilst I am relieved that common sense prevailed and the children were not successful, I wonder why the legal process took 2 years before the lawsuit could be thrown out at the appeal stage.  The court system must make a strong and unambiguous statement about the rights of parents to parent as they see fit as long as they act lawfully.
If we spend our time judging scornfully about the practices of other parents we will allow ourselves to be blinded by the improvements required in our own parenting approach.  Every child must be taught according to their own individual personality type and every child must be parented according to their own personality type.  No self-help book applies to all kids and no parenting style works on all kids.
So my advice is, stop judging others and concentrate on your own practice.

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Posted in Child Development | 1 Comment »

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