Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

The Cheapening of Children’s Literature

June 12, 2011

Young children are not reading, and if that’s not sad enough, the methods used to get them back into books don’t make the grade.  I wish a more concerted effort could be made to reinvigorate and re-engage young readers through authentic and well written books.

Unfortunately, fecal matter and toilet humour is the order of the day. Take this book featuring expletives on every page:

A book full of foul language is tonight generating debate over whether it should be sold in New Zealand.

Anti-family violence campaigners are up-in-arms over the imminent release of the offensive parody of a children’s bedtime book.

The book, entitled Go the F*** to Sleep, looks and sounds like an ordinary kids’ book, but has swear words on every page.

“The book features a father trying to get his young child to sleep – a common experience of parents. It is littered with offensive language, but most disturbingly, looks and sounds just like a children’s book,” said Family First director Bob McCoskrie.

Go the F*** to Sleep by Adam Mansbach was written as a spoof, based on the author’s experience as a Dad.

“It started with some sleepless nights and a Facebook post where I jokingly said I was going to write, I said ‘look out for my forthcoming children’s book, go the F*** to sleep’. And a couple of weeks later actually sat down and wrote it,” Mansbach told the Today Show.

The book is due for release in the US next week, after being available online for months, and a leaked PDF has gone viral via websites like Facebook.

Now, it is Amazon’s bestseller on pre-orders alone, and turned the American author into an overnight sensation.

McCoskrie understands the book is now about to hit shelves in New Zealand.

“I think it sends all the wrong messages,” he told ONE News.

The advocacy group are worried about the effects it may have on dysfunctional parents, and are now calling on bookstores to ban its sale.

“While in an adult context, the book may be harmless and even amusing, we have grave concerns about its effect on aggressive and dysfunctional parents, and also on children who are attracted to the book,” said McCoskrie.

McCoskrie said it trivialises verbal abuse and intolerance of children at a time when New Zealand is battling family violence.

“We’d rather parents spent their hard earned money on a book on quality parenting, or a book that they can enjoy reading to their child.”

He said he is already written to two book distributors, Booksellers Association and Paper Plus New Zealand, urging them not to stock it.

But book sellers say it will be on shelves in a month.

Wellington’s Unity Books has already ordered ten copies for its parenting section.

“It’s a de-stress, at the end of the day, or at the end of the night – have a laugh, sit down together. The idea that someone would take all of it to heart, and abuse their children because of it is a bit hard to imagine really,” said Unity’s Cameron Hyland.

As for the book ending up in the wrong hands – the kids.

“We trust the parents will know, this goes on a high shelf!” said Mansbach.

McCoskrie said Family First is now considering a complaint to the Censor’s Office.

I am certainly not in favour of banning books and I believe that much of this story is driven from conservative alarmist, but I do lament the lack of interest kids have in reading and the methods used to re-engage them.  Young people will read this book and fall instantly in love with iot whether it was intended for them or not.  Just when we needed more imaginative and well written alternatives …

Are We Setting Up Our Children?

June 10, 2011

I personally don’t agree with closing down establishments that offer facials to kids under 13, as I feel that while it may be in poor taste, it is hardly outrageous.

What I do believe is that there far too much focus put on appearance. We are setting up our kids for failure if we continue to peddle the lie that:

a. You are happy if you look a certain way

b. You are ugly if you don’t look a certain way

c. That appearance is more important than character and integrity.

Still, as long as we allow our kids to stop acting their age and instead obsess about their appearance, cases like this will emerge:

Do children need a facial?

That question is actually being considered by some parents in Britain, where a salon that caters exclusively to children recently opened.

The salon, which opened earlier this week in the county of Essex, Britain’s answer to Jersey Shore, offers services such as manicures, pedicures, facials and hair styling to children under 13. The salon, called Trendy Monkeys also offers “princess parties” for groups of children, which comes with pink limousine service to and from the salon.

News of the salon has created an uproar in Britain, where child psychologists and advocates say that type of business promotes the sexualization of young girls and robs them of their childhood.

Owner Michelle Devine has defended her business, saying that daughters want to be like their mothers and that she is simply offering a service that many want.

“This shop will be specifically aimed at children and will cater to their need to feel good about themselves and take pride in their appearance in a fun-filled environment,” Ms. Devine told The Independent.

Critics disagree. A child protection consultant named Shy Keenan told the Daily Mail, “This is outrageous – it is giving children a complex about the way they look from the age of one.”

She might be onto something. Cosmetics companies and beauty businesses looking to widen their customer base have been increasingly courting the I-still-have-baby-teeth group in recent years.

A 2008 New York Times article detailed how a growing number of salons aimed at children as young as five were popping up, while retail giant Walmart came under fire earlier this year after news emerged it planned to sell anti-aging skin care products aimed at children 8 to 12, according to CBS local news in Pittsburgh.

While many parents may see nothing wrong with letting their child play dress-up or try on lipstick at home, a growing number of critics argue that marketing salon services and cosmetics to children is just plain wrong.

Whether that has any impact on business is another story. The business’ Facebook page (where, incidentally, photos of children who have visited the salon are accessible to anyone with an Internet connection) posted a message on Thursday expressing thanks for all of the attention it has received, apparently in belief that any publicity is good publicity.

You hear adults defend this practice by saying, “I spend a great deal of time focussing on my appearance, it’s natural.”

My response is, “How is that working for you?”

Do we want our kids to be spending inordinate amounts of time at salons, in front of the mirror and on the scales?  Do we want their appearance to guide their self-worth?  Do we want them to spend more time working out what to wear than how they can help others?

Is it not possible that we are setting up our children to take on the mindless anxieties that have so deeply tarnished our self-worth and affected our capacity to feel good about who we are and what we have achieved?

How Can Handcuffing Students Ever Be Legal?

June 9, 2011

In Australia, if a school Prinicipal was seen to be authorising the handcuffing of students to polls, all hell would break loose!  The Principal would be sacked immediately, and the school would be faced with closure.  In America, it seems that it’s more complicated than that.

A recent school alleged to have shackled its students for hours at a time needs to have been proven contravene a rule that allows handcuffing of kids in certain instances, before legal action  can be imposed.

US civil rights activists have filed a lawsuit against a school they claim shackled children to railings and poles to punish misbehaviour.

Five pupils at Capital City Alternative School in Jackson, Mississippi, claim staff there handcuffed by their wrists, and sometimes the ankles too, for up to six hours at a time.

Some say they were forced to eat lunch while handcuffed, and had to shout to be released to use the bathroom, sometimes unsuccessfully.

They allege school principals often ordered the shackling, WLBT reported.

The Southern Poverty Law Centre filed a lawsuit naming Jackson Public Schools and Capital City Alternative School officials and seeking class-action status on behalf of all the school’s students.

The complaint says the alleged punishments violate the US Constitution and school board policy.

The centre’s director, attorney Jody Evans, said that the policy states students can only be handcuffed if they present a danger to themselves or others, or if they are destroying property.

‘In these instances, none of these occurred. Students were simply (saying) I forgot my belt today, have the wrong shoes on. They were handcuffed,’ he said, according to WLBT.

Critics of the Capital City Alternative School in Jackson say the allegedly excessive punishment makes students more likely to drop out of school – and commit crimes later in life.

The school admits pupils in grades 4-12 who have been suspended or expelled from Jackson Public Schools for 10 days or longer.

School district officials said the agency takes the allegations seriously and will respond through legal channels.

It deeply upsets me that schools should ever have the authority to handcuff students.  That’s the job of the police.  Misissippi needs to change their education policy quickly.  It is not acceptable for this practice to be allowed in any form.

Parents Overdosing Their Kids on Paracetamol

June 7, 2011

It’s crucial for preserving the health of your child’s liver that you take care when administering painkillers with paracetamol:

Regulators are updating the information displayed on the labels of the medicines in order to make them clearer and better tailored to babies and young children.

The new guidance follows research published last month that showed one in four young patients is given too much of the pain reliever, putting them at risk of liver damage.

The study also found that parents often give their children Calpol or similar medicines containing paracetamol at home before going to the GP who then prescribes yet another painkiller.

At the moment, there is one age band for those aged six to 12 years-old, but this will now be split into three bands.

The guidance currently says children aged six to 12 should have 5ml to 10ml of medicine, up to four times in 24 hours.

Newsflash: Bullying Was Around Before Facebook

June 5, 2011

I’ve maintained frequently on this blog that cyber bullying is a major concern.  The rise of social networking sites like Facebook has meant that bullying is more rampant and invasive now than it’s ever been. But let’s not forget that cyber bullying is a manifestation of conventional bullying – and that cannot be blamed on Facebook.

That’s why I find then following article troubling:

CHILDREN as young as eight are being treated for anxiety problems triggered by social-networking sites.

Psychologists say modern technology is producing a growing number of children needing therapy to deal with distress arising from posts on Facebook and other sites.

Darryl Cross, a clinical psychologist from Crossways Consulting, said anxiety caused by technology was a growing concern.

“Modern-day technologies and social-networking sites are contributing significantly to child and adolescent anxiety,” he said.

“It is an international phenomenon.”

Although anxiety was an established disorder, more modern triggers were lead to more distressed teenagers, Dr Cross said.

“But also, it’s the ability to be in contact 24/7.”

“In previous generations, you had the telephone and if you were lucky, mum and dad let you make a call after you got home from school. But now, primary school children, not to mention adolescents, have mobiles, which means they are constantly in touch via text messages and Facebook.”

Dr Cross said children used networking sites to determine their identity and form a view of what society thought of them.

Clinical psychologist at The Children’s Psychology Clinic, Dr Elizabeth Seeley-Wait, said she was seeing kids suffering anxiety about “being out of touch or out of the loop” if they had their mobile phone taken away.

Adults are also falling victim to insecurities.

Equilibrium Psychology’s Gemma Cribb said Facebook came up in couples’ therapy. “Someone will check their partner’s Facebook and questions will come up such as ‘Where did you meet this friend?’ ” she said.

Whilst I am very weary of children having a Facebook page, especially under the age of 13, I think it’s important to note that the bullying itself is more important than the medium.  Whilst mediums change, what doesn’t seem to change are the bullies.

What is being done about it?

Sure school’s will give you their standard assortment of “P” words, like ‘policies’, ‘programs’ and ‘procedures’, to reassure you that they are taking decisive action, but these provisions are just there to avoid lawsuits.  The effect of policies and programs are minimal at best, and if there really was stringent consequences handed out, would there be such a huge problem?

Here’s some “P” words of my own – we need a more solid partnership between Principals, Parents and Practitioners.  We need schools to be as concerned about their culture and as passionate about the safety of their students as they are about their numbers, finances and academic reputation.  We need parents to be aware of how their children treat others and raise them to respect others rather than undermine, bully or belittle them.  And we need teachers to continue to fight for their students.

We have a choice, we can blame it all on the juggernaut that is Facebook, or we can fight bullying at its source whilst standing up for the rights of those who are victimised and powerless.

Eight-Year Old’s Gift To Teacher is a Gun!

June 4, 2011

I appreciate the kindness of parents and students when they write me a short note or give me a gift at the end of the year.  It makes me feel appreciated.  However, if any parent or student is thinking about giving me a loaded gun as a gift, I would beg them to please abstain.  Such gifts I don’t need.

An elementary school teacher in Florida was shocked when she received a loaded gun as an end of the school year present, which turns out was unknowingly packed with the real gift.

A memo from the school principal at Allamanda Elementary explained that a teacher opened a gift at home she found a small handgun at the bottom of the box.

“Where’s the parents at? Where’s the parents of this child? I mean, how did he obtain this gun?” asked parent Jarrett Goddard.

School officials dispersed the news quickly.

A spokesperson for the Palm Beach County School District said in a statement that school police are investigating a report that a student at the school may have given a teacher a gift in a box that also contained a small handgun.

It also said that no one was injured and the investigation is continuing, and no further information is available at this time.

Officials said the student’s grandmother packed the present but didn’t know there was a gun inside the box.

It’s unclear how the gun got there, but it was never in the student’s hands.

What happened to the good old apple?  It’s nutritious and you can’t shoot anything with it.

Kids Adapt to Technology While Adults Watch in Amazement

June 2, 2011

At a time when parents are often criticised for being over-protective and not exposing their kids to taking on challenges, it is amazing to see how quickly young children adapt to new technologies.  The apprehension and indecision that adults have is non-existent.   These kids often make the remarkable transition from inhibited and anxious to confident risk takers as soon as the i-Pad comes out.

Take this revealing clip as a two-and-a-half  year old is presented with an i-Pad for the very first time.  Watch how confidently she navigates the product and how quickly she learns to use its programs and features.

This shows us what kids are capable of, not only when it comes to technology, but in other spheres at all.  When engaged and stimulated, when they enjoy what they are doing, their behaviour becomes more positive and more inclined to take responsible risks.

The challenge of educators is to spend less time protecting students from making mistakes and disappointment, and more time investigating ways to educate through fun and engaging activities.  Confidence does not come about from someone protecting you or holding your hand through a challenge.

Confidence comes about when the challenge is enticing and the outcome is genuinely fulfilling.

It’s Time For Schools To Shape Up

May 31, 2011

Some schools just don’t get it!  Their job goes beyond education.  They are looking after people’s kids!  Schools are duty bound to actually look after the safety of their students (as opposed to just saying they do in a catchy but meaningless slogan).  They must understand that parents don’t give the responsibility of having others look after their kids lightly.  It’s not like giving over the keys to your car to the valet.  It’s a huge deal.

That’s why schools must do their utmost to earn the confidence and respect of their parents.  They must be actively protecting the students whilst also communicating regularly with parents.  To have a school issue a dictate that all students wear baggy clothes to ward off probable paedophiles is a disgrace!  How is a parent supposed to take that advice?

Furious parents yesterday criticised a school after they were asked to buy their children baggy clothes to deter paedophiles.

King’s Park Secondary School, in Glasgow, asked parents to ensure modesty in their children’s uniform in a bizarre letter which claims sex offenders may be taking pictures of schoolboys in tight trousers.

The letter, dubbed ‘paranoid in the extreme’ by one parent, was sent home even though police say there have been no incidents of schoolchildren in the area being targeted.

And children whose parents fail to conform to the approved dress code could be forced to miss out on fun school trips.

The letter says: ‘We believe an appropriate school uniform protects children from being targeted by sexual predators.

‘There is recent evidence in south Glasgow of adults photographing schoolgirls in short skirts and schoolgirls/boys in tight trousers, then grooming them through the internet.

‘We must do all we can to keep our children safe. A modest school uniform is more appropriate than fashion skirts, trousers or tops.’

The crackdown on pupil attire has been slammed by shocked parents whose children don’t want to obey the strict rules.

One blasted: ‘There is no way an ugly uniform is going to deter a predator and determined sex offender.

‘This is just paranoid in the extreme. There are better ways to safeguard children than spreading needless panic.’

Another added: ‘It is laughable to think the uniform can act as some sort of paedophile-repellent.’

The tough new policy forces cash-strapped parents to shop from an approved list of items available only at high street store Marks and Spencer.

Girls can wear only knee-length pleated skirts or trousers and boys loose-fitting trousers.

This is an awful thing to do to parents.  To play on their fears and insight paranoia is just unacceptable.  I am glad Australian schools aren’t so stupid and downright insensitive!

Doctors Prescribing Anti-Depressants to 6-Year olds!

May 31, 2011

It is high time we put pressure on the medical fraternity to explain their actions.  I am no expert, but the increase in prescriptions of anti-depressants to kids as young as 6 seems highly irresponsible.  What on earth do these kids suffer from that warrants prescribing such medication?  How can we sit idly while Governments pretend to investigate the boom in child anti-depressant prescriptions, whilst quietly doing absolutely nothing to deal with the problem?

THE number of children aged six and under being prescribed anti-depressants has soared since the Federal Government pledged to investigate the matter in 2008, new figures show.

The Herald Sun can also reveal that in the past two years, the deaths of five people aged 10-19 have been linked to anti-depressants. Federal Health Department data reveal prescribing rates of the controversial drugs in children aged two to six has risen from 852 in 2007-08 to 1264 in 2009-10.

In Victoria, the number has increased from 156 to 229, and, in the past two years, in the 7-11 age group, from 825 to 1085.

The Government has refused to release details on children under two since 2007-08, claiming the figures are unreliable.

But despite Health Minister Nicola Roxon’s ordering of an investigation three years ago, a Freedom of Information request shows just two meetings were held. 

The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists said it was alarming that anti-depressants were being prescribed for children and demanded answers from government.

“I would be very very alarmed if these figures were true,” said Dr Phillip Brock, chairman of the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry faculty.

Australian Medical Association vice-president Dr Steve Hambleton said he had given anti-depressant scripts for two six-year-olds, and they had benefited.

A Health Department spokesman said the management of a child’s medical condition, including prescribing anti-depressants, was a doctor’s clinical decision.

The figures show Zoloft and Prozac were among the most prescribed of the drugs in the youngest age group.

Black Dog Institute director Professor Gordon Parker said while not all anti-depressants were used for depressive disorders in children, an investigation was needed to explore why they were being prescribed.

Are the Drug Companies giving substantial donations to the Government?  Is the medical fraternity happy with the reputation they are getting of treating children with prescription drugs before they reach the age of being able to read or write?  What’s next?  Are babies going to be prescribed anti-depressants?

Emeritus Professor John Werry, a child psychiatrist, expressed another opinion – as far as he knows giving SSRI antidepressants to babies would be of no harm to them. However, he acknowledged the medications influence basic bio-cyclic processes.

Does anyone else find this as disturbing as I do?

 

Police Want Parents to Spy on Their Kids Online

May 29, 2011

So bad is the problem of stalking paedophiles preying on children, that Police are advising parents to spy on their kids’ online activities.  In a perfect world parents should resist spying on their kids, as their trust is essential for a close relationship.  However, there are exceptions to this rule.  The rise of evil paedophiles who prey on naive and impressionable children, may present parents with little choice.

Parents should keep a regular and close eye on what their children do online, say Scottish police, especially on who they are chatting to.

The Scottish Crime and Drug Enforcement Agency (SCDEA) is concerned about the growing threat of grooming and the dangers of paedophilia. The Scotsman reports that since Operation Embark was set up to tackle the problem two years ago, 18 people have been convicted of online grooming and sentenced to a combined 24 years in prison, 23 years of probation, and 840 hours of community service.

Detective Inspector Eamonn Keane, who heads the SCDEA’s e-crime unit, said: “There’s various software to assist parents in helping them keep their children safe on the internet, which can help identify their computer history.

“You can set your governance tools to search for key words, so if there’s been sexually explicit behaviour from a 13 or 14-year-old it would pick up on that. You can apply parental controls on the internet in the same way as you can on digital TV channels, blocking unsuitable websites.”

Police say parents should be informal friends on Facebook and other social networks, so that they are in the loop of conversations that their kids are having.

Parents should also educate themselves about the social networks their kids are using – how they work, what functionality they offer and how often they are being used.

Social networks do not only mean Facebook – children can correspond with strangers on Bebo, YouTube, gaming networks, Twitter, MySpace and forums, as well as chat services like MSN Messenger, Skype, AOL Chat and Google Talk.

Parents: Please share this video with your children.  I have posted it before, but the clip’s importance and its powerful message will see me post it on occasion.