Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

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Sleep Disorders Often Mistaken for ADHD

July 15, 2012

Whilst the diagnosis of ADHD is reaching epidemic proportions, yet another possible explanation is being uncovered:

“Sleep disorders may contribute to behaviors that resemble ADHD during the day,” says Kevin Smith, a pediatric psychologist at Children’s Mercy Hospitals and Clinics in Kansas City, Mo. A study published in March in Pediatrics analyzed more than 11,000 children over a period of six years, beginning at 6 months of age, and revealed that children suffering from sleep-disordered breathing—including snoring, breathing through the mouth, and apnea, where the child seems to stop breathing for several seconds at a time—had a higher incidence of behavioral and emotional issues such as hyperactivity, aggressiveness, depression, and anxiety. In fact, they were 50 to 90 percent more likely to develop ADHD-like symptoms than were normal breathers. And those children who suffered most severely from all three sleep-disordered breathing behaviors at around age 2 and a half had the highest risk for hyperactivity.

A lack of sleep can damage brain neurons, particularly in the prefrontal cortex region, says Karen Bonuck, lead author and professor of family and social medicine at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York. This may be due to a decrease in oxygen and an increase in carbon dioxide levels; interference with sleep’s restorative processes; and a disruption in the balance of cellular and chemical systems. What can result is inattentiveness, hyperactivity, and impulsivity—the classic trademarks of ADHD. When the disorder is suspected in a child, “nighttime sleep patterns should be reviewed with the primary care doctor,” says Bonuck. “Parents may even wish to video or audio tape the problematic behavior as a first step.”

Now it is up to doctors to do their due diligence and ensure that what may seem like ADHD isn’t a raft of other minor possibilities such as sleep or diet issues.

Click here to read my post, ‘Are Children Getting Enough Sleep?’

Click here to read my post, ‘Sleep Deprived Children in the Classroom’.

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Dealing With Teenagers: 10 Dos and Dont’s

July 15, 2012

Interesting list written by Kim Haskins:

Do show respect for your teenager: Show it and you’ll receive it in return. For example, respect their privacy by expressing an interest in their personal lives without trying to log into their Facebook account. Also, let them know that their opinions and feelings matter to you, and be constructive in your explanation if you don’t agree with them (‘Just because’ just won’t do). Overall, be positive, not punitive: admit and apologise when you’ve been in the wrong, and praise them when they’ve done something good. A little humility goes a long way.

Do listen: ‘Nobody understands me’ may be the familiar adage of adolescence, but we can empathise by both taking the time to listen and remember what it was like for us as teenagers. Listening (while resisting the urge to interrupt) not only shows you care but also develops a sense of mutual trust. What’s more, it will help you to gain a better understanding of certain situations without jumping to conclusions.

Do let them know you’re there: You know you’ll be there for them no matter what, but do they? Create an open environment wherein all family members can feel free to discuss what’s on their mind without fear of being judged. We can’t guide our children through all aspects of life, but we can be on-call for support. Let your teen learn from their own mistakes and make sure you’re there to talk about whatever’s gone wrong when they’re ready.

Do keep calm and consistent: Teenagers’ behaviour can be notoriously bad-tempered and unpredictable, but the last thing to help is you fanning the flames with similar behaviour. However frustrating it seems, it’s worth biting your tongue when things get heated. Keeping calm will help them to do the same and eventually encourage more open and level-headed communication. If you do say anything in anger to them, take steps to clear the storm by apologising and explaining why you were upset.

Do have fun together: Time-wise, we’re talking about quality over quantity. Even if other commitments only leave you with the odd half an hour here and there, then so be it — just make the most of what you’ve got. It can be as simple as going out for a meal or watching a film together. Ask them what they’d like to do and, importantly, make sure you enjoy it too.

Don’t nag: In a recent survey*, around half the number of teenagers questioned advised parents not to nag their teens. It can be tempting to nag, especially when we feel frustrated. However, the bottom line is that at whatever age we all resent a nagger. Avoid focusing on the bad stuff and try to use more positive language to offer encouragement instead. So, rather than moaning at them to stop watching TV and do their homework, change tack and suggest recording programmes so they can be watched after an hour’s worth of studying. And perhaps bring them a cuppa and a biscuit to help them along. A bit of friendly bribery might just do the trick!

Don’t try to change them: Your teenager is a unique individual at an advanced stage of personal development. It can be a confusing enough period of self-discovery without having parents trying to push you into corners where you just don’t fit. Accept your teen as they are, and celebrate their personalities and interests rather than overlooking or being ashamed of them.

Don’t take things personally: Teens tend to say things in the heat of the moment. At a time when their hormones are running riot, it’s easy for a normal conversation to flare up over something that might seem trivial to you. In many ways, teens have to blow a fuse a few times to learn how to control their feelings and express themselves more constructively. So stay calm at all times and lead by example.

Don’t shout: Your voice may be louder, but this doesn’t mean they will listen to you any better or indeed respect you any more. Any show of aggression is likely to be counter-productive; it can push them away further or even make them display aggressive behaviour themselves.

Don’t preach: You might have the wisdom of age and experience, but don’t forget that an essential process along the journey to adulthood is choosing your own paths and learning to overcome mistakes. Be there to guide them through any difficult life choices, but resist any assumption that you ‘know best’. In particular, avoid using patronising language, such as saying anything along the lines of ‘When I was your age…’ If you do this you’ll sound like an annoying old fart; in which case, how will your advice sound relevant to them?

Click on the link to read my post, ’10 Things Parents Don’t Understand About Their Teenage Children’.

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Schools Invite Kids to Parent-Teacher Meetings to Subdue Angry Parents

July 14, 2012

If you ever wanted evidence that some schools have a selfish mentality towards their own wellbeing over the welfare of their students, this story proves it.

It is unacceptable to use children as ‘human shields’ to protect teachers from hostile parents. This strategy puts children in the middle of a very difficult situation. Should the parents lose their temper, it can potentially harm the child psychologically.

SCHOOLS have found the perfect solution to maintain the calm during parent-teacher interview nights – bring along the student.

In a bid to quell “pushy parents” and to encourage greater student input, schoolkids are involved in the three-way discussions to highlight their main concerns.

Education experts said having the student present encourages them to be responsible for their own learning, behaviour and to reflect on their academic goals.

The principal of Corpus Christi Primary in Cranbrook, Richard Blissenden, said having students present acts as a “grounding” for some parents who might use the interview night to bombard teachers with irrelevant questions.

“It means that perhaps parents who might have been a little more over the top might not have that opportunity because their child is present,” Mr Blissenden said.

 “It emphasises we are here because we are all interested in the learning for this child.

“You can’t get distracted with issues which are off the topic. You just don’t have the time and having the child there helps to refocus.”

Click on the link to read my post, ‘Tips For Parent-Teacher Conferences‘.

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Posted in Dealing with Parents | 1 Comment »

Parenting is Not a Competition

July 14, 2012

The competitive parent can be seen in all countries and across all cultures, but it almost never leads to a happy child. These parents tend to be fixated on outdoing other parents in intellectual and creative pursuits instead of focusing on raising children who are happy and have good character traits.

The following article by Lisa Mayoh captures these misguided and arrogant parents perfectly:

SINCE becoming a parent, I have seen above-average displays of competitiveness – and not from the children, but from their doting mums and dads – the ones old enough to know better.

You know the type. They are quick to claim their child is perfect, a child genius, actually – gifted, talented, advanced and all that jazz.

Oh, speaking of jazz, that’s all they listen to, because little Mary (eight months old) is to be a famous musician when she grows up.

When you ask how they are, their response is “fantastic!” because of how well Billy is thriving in dance class (Billy is 14 months old) or how proud they are that three-year-old Ava is reading at kindergarten level because of the tutoring she’s had for the past few years, and you don’t hear the rest because your imperfect little ears tune out.

They post photos of their five-month-olds sitting on the toilet – sorry, slouching because they are too young to even sit up properly.

But they will be potty-trained in record time and they will tell the world, dammit!

Yes, the mummy race was always bad. But I fear it’s getting worse, and I want out.

We have become a generation of parenting over-achievers, wanting to give our children nothing but the very best opportunities in life, every single minute of every single day, because, don’t you know, 80 per cent of their cognitive brain development happens before they turn three?

If they’re to be geniuses, they have to start right now.

But while they are still in nappies? Come on people, let’s get a grip.

When I saw that there are now schools for six-month-olds – not daycare, actual educational facilities – I thought it far beyond the normal act of wanting the best for your child.

A baby goo-gooing through structured learning-based play, following a curriculum, blowing raspberries while being harassed by flash cards; it seems so far outside normal I became alarmed for my daughter (who is, incidentally, a child genius at 23 months, I’m sure of it).

What chance does she have if everyone around her is all-consumed with turning their toddlers into child prodigies before their second birthdays?

Am I a bad mother for not enrolling her into a trilingual, learning-based playgroup, or because if you ask her what her favourite television show is, she says The Voice not Four Corners?

ONE of the main reasons I stopped going to mothers’ group was because of first-time mummies and their “firsts” club.

Who slept through the night first? Who was the first to say “Mummy”? Who crawled first? Who skipped crawling and went straight to walking because, duh, they are so clever, why would they want to be on the floor?

Who can say the biggest word? Who has the longest day sleep? The longest hair? Who has the biggest birthday cake (sugar, nut, egg and taste-free of course)?

Who wasn’t scared of the cows at the show? Who goes to swimming lessons?

It’s endless, exhausting, and this mummy has had enough.

Yes, I want my beautiful girl to grow and learn with the best of them.

But I don’t want her to feel she has to be the best at everything so I can brag about it.

She may love dancing, she may love painting and she may learn to speak Italian one day, and that’s all great. But I want her to enjoy her years as a baby while she still has them.

It’s OK that she doesn’t know her ABC. It’s OK she wasn’t toilet-trained by 16 months like other superhuman children, and it’s OK that she can’t talk in full sentences.

She is a baby. A child. Can’t she stay one for a little while longer?

All she knows is that someone she loves is sure to take her to the park today, and what else should matter?

Let’s take a break from the rat race and stop competing for the title of world’s best parent, the one who breeds the world’s best children. Because that crown simply doesn’t exist.

No one is perfect, not even that gorgeous little bundle of yours. Or mine, for that matter.

That’s just normal. Isn’t it?

Click here to read, ’10 Things Parents Don’t Understand About Their Teenage Children’.

Click here to read ‘Both a Parents’ Best Friend and Worst Enemy’.

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Would Good Parents Ever Sign Up for a Reality TV Show?

July 13, 2012

A good parent, like a good teacher, makes mistakes on a regular basis. The difference is, that they reflect on their mistakes and work on strategies for continuous improvement.

I am not convinced that good parents would ever feel comfortable advertising their skills to a prime time television audience.

But there are many out there desperate for their 15 minutes:

Those who believe their parenting skills are worthy of an audience have many chances to be seen in the near future. Apparently reality show producers also think the whole world needs to weigh in on different ways to raise children, based on the sample of casting calls made recently.

The latest, from the people who bring you “Dance Moms” and “American Stuffers,” will be called “Extreme Parenting” (if one of the “multiple” cable networks bidding on the show come through, says producer Jeff Collins).

He was inspired to create the show, he says, after watching the national paroxysms of outrage over the Time magazine cover showing self-described “attachment parent” Jamie Lynne Grumet breastfeeding her 3-year-old son.

“I think it is fascinating when Americans find something to be provocative and upsetting,” Collins explains. “We are a country of extremes. The shows I do peel back the curtain on the choices people make — some of them will outrage other people.”

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Posted in Parenting | 2 Comments »

Video of Woman Saving Children From Runaway Van

July 12, 2012

Well done Lezlie Bicknell on a most heroic act:

A New Mexico woman heroically jumped to save two children alone in a runaway van, even as her own vehicle slid into traffic.

Lezlie Bicknell says she was shocked to see a young child behind the wheel of a minivan she pulled up next to in an Albuquerque strip mall parking lot.

“There was a small child in the driver’s seat,” Bicknell, 40, told ABC affiliate KOAT. “I literally watched her shift it into gear. I knew what was going to happen.”

The two children were reportedly locked inside the minivan while their parents ran into a nearby convenience store, and one of the youngsters accidentally knocked the vehicle into neutral.

Video shows the minivan sliding backward toward the street, and Bicknell jumping from her truck to help. Then her own vehicle starts to roll backward, too.

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Posted in Child Welfare | 2 Comments »

10 Things Parents Don’t Understand About Their Teenage Children

July 12, 2012

I just read a very perceptive and humerous piece by Sam Koppelman about how little parents understand their teenage children:

1. Parents just don’t understand that not all teens like Justin Bieber and One Direction.

Parents, sure a ton of teens are Beliebers and Directioners (just look at how many followers they have on Twitter!), but I can assure you, there are plenty of us who aren’t exactly happy about the fact that if Biebs were our boyfriend, he would never let us go. And there are many of us who would run away if we saw five British boys chasing after us on the beach. So, to all the parents who are thinking about what to get their teens for their birthdays, ask us before buying the new Justin Bieber perfume at Macy’s.

2. Parents just don’t understand that we know they weren’t perfect in high school, either.

Parents, when you get mad at us for staying out past our curfew and going out with our friends on the weekends, stop pretending you weren’t doing the same things when you were teens. We have all seen the hair you guys tried to pull off in the ’80s. And if those weren’t “out past your curfew” boots, then I don’t know what were.

3. Parents just don’t understand that they don’t need to apologize for cursing…

Parents, as nice as it is that you guys try to protect the innocence of our ears, you really don’t have to apologize for cursing. Believe us, we’ve heard curse words before. In fact, we need curse words to get us through bad test scores and annoying classes. So, when you forget I’m in the car and curse out the driver next to you for cutting into your lane, please don’t apologize. Thanks!

4. Parents just don’t understand that we’ve heard worse than Howard Stern.

Similarly, parents, you don’t have to change the channel on the radio or the TV whenever Howard Stern comes on the screen. Right when you leave the room, we can stream his radio show or watch America’s Got Talent on the computer. No need to be martyrs. We can all enjoy Howard together.

5. Parents just don’t understand that we don’t “Twitter.” We tweet.

Parents, you would never say that we should “books.” You would say that we should “read books.” So don’t tell us to stop “twittering.” If you are going to pester us about what we do on the Internet, at least use the correct verb and tell us to “stop tweeting.”

6. Parents just don’t understand why we would want to make our photos look “old.”

Parents, we get that you might be self-conscious about aging. That’s totally normal! But seriously, when we make photos look old on Instagram or Hypstamatic, we aren’t giving ourselves wrinkles and turning our hair gray. Aging photos and aging middle-aged parents are not the same thing. We make our photos black and white because old photos look cool. Unlike old people. Unless, of course, they are named Betty White.

7. Parents just don’t understand that a movie being rated “R” won’t prevent us from going to see it.

Seriously, parents, how do you think The Hangover did so well if no teens under the age of 18 lied about how old they were on Fandango to buy tickets? As much as we like acronyms (LOL, OMG, JK) we don’t really care about what the MPAA has to say about what movies we’re allowed to see.

8. Parents just don’t understand that we find it creepy when they give us the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.

Parents, we don’t need your endorsement to look at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. We are just as weirded out by the prospect of you thinking that we would enjoy looking at those pictures as you are by the prospect of us enjoying looking at those pictures. So please keep the Sports Illustrated with Kate Upton on the cover wherever you keep the Sports Illustrated with Lebron on the cover. Thanks.
9. Parents just don’t understand that we know what going away to “celebrate their anniversary” means.

No explanation needed. Ew.

10. Parents just don’t understand that we honestly do love them.

No matter how annoying they are or how much they don’t understand, we know how much they love us. And we love them back.

 

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Welcome to the Generation of the Knee-Jerk Reaction

July 12, 2012

Education and support have been thrown out the window in favour of control and over-regulation:

Authorities in Victoria are now using concerns about extreme obesity as justification for removing children from the care of their parents.

The Department of Health Services has removed at least two children from their parents’ care this year over the issue.

Associate Professor John Dixon, from the Baker IDI Heart and Diabetes Institute, says the number is expected to rise in the coming years.

“We’ve got to understand that as the waistlines of our kids grow, we’re going to have these extreme case of obesity,” he told News Breakfast.

Professor Dixon says sometimes removing the child is the best option.

“It’s not the obesity itself that would lead to a child being removed from their home, but it would be a range of circumstances that would make it difficult for that child to be managed in the best way at home,” he said.

“[Obesity can be the result of a] whole range of environmental issues, the food, the lack of transport, all sorts of things.

“But it also can be symptomatic of dysfunctional circumstances… where there’s problems; mental illness, siblings with disabilities, that really make family life for some of these children very complex indeed, and produce that rare circumstance where they may be better off out of home for a while.

“Thinking of the rights of the child, the best interests of the child, if it’s counterproductive to be at home, then in very rare circumstances that child may be best off not at home.”

Click here to read my post ‘Considered Too Obese to Keep His Kids‘.

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Posted in Childhood Obesity | 1 Comment »

School Deals With Bullying Problem by Banishing the Victim’s Mother

July 11, 2012

Schools have to wake up and understand that if a child is being bullied and they are at a loss to stop it, it is not only a parent’s right but a parent’s responsibility to demand answers.

If my life savings were in the hands of a stockbroker and I called every day to find out how things were going, my stockbroker would treat my concerns with respect because he/she realises that my life savings mean a lot to me.

But when a child, the most important and precious thing in a parents’ life, is being tormented at school and the parent rings constantly to seek assurances, the response from the school is often far from respectful.

Take this story for example. A mother persistently rings her child’s school in order to seek help over s bullying issue only to be banned from stepping foot onto school grounds:

A local school board won’t explain why it banned the mother of an allegedly bullied child from school grounds unless she has written permission.

Mario Turco, the Algoma District School Board’s director of education, said the board “absolutely” had reason to issue the June 22 letter which informed Kathy Lindsay she needed to get prior written permission to visit Queen Elizabeth Public School, or face trespassing charges.

“Why would we send a letter out if there was no reason?” Turco said Tuesday.

When pressed, Turco would only say the letter was in response to a letter from Lindsay’s lawyer.

“I don’t think I need to discuss it in public. (Lindsay) understands it. It’s between the lawyers now,” Turco said.

Lindsay said she isn’t backing down.

She said her daughter, Hailey, is being tormented on a daily basis by a group of classmates.

“This is a little girl who has been in a living hell for the last year,” Lindsay said.

Lindsay said all she did was walk her daughter to class and make a number of phone calls to try to stop the bullying.

“They’re going to say I called often — and yes, I did,” Lindsay said. “I called often because it’s not taken seriously enough and that was my way of trying to get something done about it.”

 

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You Don’t Fight Bullying With More Bullying

July 11, 2012

People are entitled to feel very angry at the school that reportedly allowed a young Japanese boy to be bullied to the point of suicide. But it is incredibly important that the anger is expressed in a non-threatening way.

Firstly, those concerned should call for disciplinary measures for all those involved (including students, staff and administrators).

Next, they should be encouraging their children and close friends to speak out against bullying whenever they find themselves to be bystanders.

Finally, they should take an interest in how their local schools deal with bullying situations.

One thing they should not do is threaten the school. This course of action is tantamount to dealing with bullying by becoming the bully:

THE suicide of a 13-year-old boy in central Japan has sparked a series of bomb threats against his school.

Threats have also been made against the local government over claims of negligence in the case, police said.

The boy’s death has snowballed into a national scandal amid reports that bullies routinely forced him to “practice” killing himself before he took his own life, and that his teacher brushed off the abuse as a joke.

A letter sent to the boy’s school in Shiga prefecture threatened that the building would be bombed unless the pupils and teachers involved apologise, local authorities said.

Click here to read my post ‘Child Commits Suicide Due to Alleged Systematic Bullying and Inept Teachers’.

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Posted in Bullying | 2 Comments »

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