Posts Tagged ‘Family’

Woman Tries to Sell Her Kids on eBay

July 17, 2011

Whether it was a legitimate attempt or just a joke, it is a very sad and sorry look at the inherent selfishness in some parts of our society.

A VICTORIAN woman is being investigated after offering her two young children for sale to the highest bidder on internet auction site eBay.

The woman, in her early 30s, lives near Geelong. She wrote a “lengthy sales pitch” that included photographs of her son and daughter, both aged under 10.

Several people placed bids on the sickening auction, which has alarmed authorities.

Detectives from the Sexual Offences and Child Abuse unit were alerted to the internet page by a horrified member of the public.

The page has been taken down and the woman’s children could be taken into permanent care.

Victoria Police has decided not to press charges against the mum, who claims the act was a joke.

However, police sources told the Sunday Herald Sun they were disturbed by the incident and in particular the genuine bidders who tried to obtain the children.

Officers continue to probe the people who bid on the children and the Department of Human Services is continuing its investigation into the family.

 

Father Goes to Great Lengths To Ensure Daughter is Cyber-Safe

July 15, 2011

Father and computer expert, Bill Ramsey sets a good example for other parents concerned about what their children get up to online:

“The internet has really changed the way that children interact with the world and not always for good,” said Bill Ramsey.  He’s owns The Bill Guy Technology Solutions and is a dad.  He says you have to know who your kids are chatting with on places like Facebook.  “There are so many parents that say I don’t care that they put that stuff up there and I tell them they should.  You should care,” he said.

He cares so much, he requires his 15-year-old step daughter provide her passwords so he can access everything, including text messages.  He says she doesn’t like it but knows if she breaks the rules she’ll lose her computer privileges.  By checking her email recently, he found emails from a guy who asked she send pictures of herself.  She didn’t do it, but he says she also didn’t understand why it was a big deal.  “So what this is a person I’ll never see.  But you don’t know this.  You don’t know who this is,” he said.

Ramsey was able to find the boy who lived in Arkansas and called his parents.  He says that also shows how easy it is to track people down with information posted on-line.  The National Center for Exploited and Missing Children say one in seven youth between the ages of 10 and 17 have received a sexual solicitation on the internet.  Ramsey says that’s enough to know what your kids are up to.  “It’s not an invasion of their privacy,” he said.

Obviously Ramsey is good with computers and has an easier time keeping track on his child’s on-line activity.  But he says it’s not difficult if you put in some effort.  He says having passwords is the most helpful but it’s also good just to visit their Facebook page.  If getting a password won’t work, he says there are several software programs that offer various amounts of protection and some at a cost. 

He recommends checking out, http://www.webwatchernow.com, http://www.netnanny.com and http://www.cyberpatrol.com

Losing Custody of Your Kids Because of Obesity is a Disgusting Thought

July 13, 2011

Shame on you David Ludwig for making a conclusion that belies all common sense and sensitivity.  How can you justify the idea of taking children away from their parents because of their obesity?  How is such a move in the best interest of the child?

Should parents lose custody of their kids if they get too fat?

A commentary in Wednesday’s Journal of the American Medical Association says yes.

Harvard obesity specialist David Ludwig says putting children in temporary foster care can be more ethical than providing weight-loss surgery – but only in extreme cases.

Ludwig says the point is not to punish the parents – but to act in the child’s best interest, and provide care that the parents do not or cannot provide.

Ludwig says the goal is to get those kids back to their parents as soon as possible – and for parents to learn the proper ways to prevent future obesity.

There have previous calls for government intervention, in cases where parents either neglect or refuse proper efforts to control a child’s extreme weight.

A doctor from London cited a Wisconsin case from 2009 in which a 440-pound 16-year-old almost died at UW Hospital in Madison.

Doctors had talked about reporting the parents for neglect – but they didn’t have to, because the girl later lost 100 pounds with her family’s help.

The Journal article comes a week after an annual study reported that 27-percent of Wisconsin adults are obese.

This method will further punish a child with enough to contend with as it is.  No parent wants their child to be obese.  Yes, some do more than others to avoid obesity, but that doesn’t mean that they are not loving and caring parents.  Many of them, as reported, suffer from obesity themselves.

As a society we must learn to support rather than threaten.  The child’s welfare does not rely on just a loss of weight but also the continued love and support from their parents.  We must not fingerpoint or punish parents for obesity.  It won’t help one bit.  Instead we must offer as much support, education and guidance as we can to ensure that families are able to pass up cheap calorie laden products for the more expensive, yet far more healthy alternatives.

 

Kids Fined $500 for Lemonade Stand

June 19, 2011

Kids get criticised so much nowadays for not showing enough initiative, taking their luxuries for granted and being selfish.  You’d think that when kids show some drive and vision they’d be applauded for it.

Well, that’s not always the case I’m afraid.

When a group of children get together to raise money for pediatric cancer research, only to have their lemonade stand shut-down and  slapped with a $500 fine, you know that there is something very wrong with the message we send kids.

After life dealt these kids a $500 fine, they kept making lemonade.

Four 10-year-olds who set up a lemonade stand a front yard near Congressional Country Club golf course, site of this year’s U.S. Open, were warned by Montgomery County officials to shut down their lemonade stand on Thursday.

On Friday, in a compromise, parents say the county agreed to let the stand stay open, just a few feet away from its original location.

Neighborhood kids set up a pop-up tent at the corner of Country Club Drive and Persimmon Tree Road.  Thirsty golf fans had a chance to buy lemonade or other cold drinks for $2 a pop.  The kids and their parents said that half the proceeds would go to a children’s charity.

The Montgomery County Department of Permitting said they were obstructing pedestrian and vehicle traffic, and wrote up the lemonade stand for operating without a license.  The offense carries a $500 fine.

“What happened to the entrepreneurial spirit of this country,” one angry parent told NBC4’s John Schriffen on Thursday, “this is the American dream.”

Parents resolved not to move the stand, and to donate 100 percent of the sales to charity.

On Friday, parents said the county government relented, and allowed the stand to stay open. In a compromise, the tent got moved 100 feet down the road, away from the intersection.

“We’re really happy today because the kids are thrilled to be back in business,” said one of the mothers, “and the county said last night that they would not in their words ‘hassle the kids’ this weekend if they would just move their lemonade stand 100 feet down still on private property.”

The kids and their parents planned on giving the money to a race to benefit pediatric cancer research.

Suer a media backlash caused the fine to be waived and a compromise to be hatched up, but there shouldn’t have been a fine or a compromise.  Adults must encourage kids to do things for others and get them to think beyond their own metrialistic vices.  But when children do something that is selfless and sincere, it sends such a terrible message to try and undermine or interfere with their passion for wanting to make a real difference.

Why be content with the next generation simply following in our footsteps, when they are capable of so much more?  Let’s support and encourage them to lean and improve upon both our strengths and weaknesses.

The Cheapening of Children’s Literature

June 12, 2011

Young children are not reading, and if that’s not sad enough, the methods used to get them back into books don’t make the grade.  I wish a more concerted effort could be made to reinvigorate and re-engage young readers through authentic and well written books.

Unfortunately, fecal matter and toilet humour is the order of the day. Take this book featuring expletives on every page:

A book full of foul language is tonight generating debate over whether it should be sold in New Zealand.

Anti-family violence campaigners are up-in-arms over the imminent release of the offensive parody of a children’s bedtime book.

The book, entitled Go the F*** to Sleep, looks and sounds like an ordinary kids’ book, but has swear words on every page.

“The book features a father trying to get his young child to sleep – a common experience of parents. It is littered with offensive language, but most disturbingly, looks and sounds just like a children’s book,” said Family First director Bob McCoskrie.

Go the F*** to Sleep by Adam Mansbach was written as a spoof, based on the author’s experience as a Dad.

“It started with some sleepless nights and a Facebook post where I jokingly said I was going to write, I said ‘look out for my forthcoming children’s book, go the F*** to sleep’. And a couple of weeks later actually sat down and wrote it,” Mansbach told the Today Show.

The book is due for release in the US next week, after being available online for months, and a leaked PDF has gone viral via websites like Facebook.

Now, it is Amazon’s bestseller on pre-orders alone, and turned the American author into an overnight sensation.

McCoskrie understands the book is now about to hit shelves in New Zealand.

“I think it sends all the wrong messages,” he told ONE News.

The advocacy group are worried about the effects it may have on dysfunctional parents, and are now calling on bookstores to ban its sale.

“While in an adult context, the book may be harmless and even amusing, we have grave concerns about its effect on aggressive and dysfunctional parents, and also on children who are attracted to the book,” said McCoskrie.

McCoskrie said it trivialises verbal abuse and intolerance of children at a time when New Zealand is battling family violence.

“We’d rather parents spent their hard earned money on a book on quality parenting, or a book that they can enjoy reading to their child.”

He said he is already written to two book distributors, Booksellers Association and Paper Plus New Zealand, urging them not to stock it.

But book sellers say it will be on shelves in a month.

Wellington’s Unity Books has already ordered ten copies for its parenting section.

“It’s a de-stress, at the end of the day, or at the end of the night – have a laugh, sit down together. The idea that someone would take all of it to heart, and abuse their children because of it is a bit hard to imagine really,” said Unity’s Cameron Hyland.

As for the book ending up in the wrong hands – the kids.

“We trust the parents will know, this goes on a high shelf!” said Mansbach.

McCoskrie said Family First is now considering a complaint to the Censor’s Office.

I am certainly not in favour of banning books and I believe that much of this story is driven from conservative alarmist, but I do lament the lack of interest kids have in reading and the methods used to re-engage them.  Young people will read this book and fall instantly in love with iot whether it was intended for them or not.  Just when we needed more imaginative and well written alternatives …

Should Primary Students Get Homework?

June 12, 2011

I have dwelled on this very question throughout my career thus far.  At the moment I am ‘for’ homework with the following conditions:

  1. It be no longer than 15 minutes a night
  2. That it not be new work but rather revision of class work
  3. That students have time to read questions and see me if they need clarification rather than go straight to their parents in a panic
  4. That it not be given in busy or stressful weeks such as the week of National Testing

Why am I “for’ homework?  Whilst ideally my homework would be to help set the table or to share the days learning with a parent, in reality it is not for me to prescribe domestic chores or family interactions.  I then have to weigh up what is better for the child – the opportunity to fit in a bit of revision or the inevitability that most students will go home and vegetate in front of the computer or TV.

Child psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg disagrees with me:

HOMEWORK in primary school is needless, does not contribute to academic performance and adds unnecessary stress to families, child development experts say.

“It’s hijacking family life, it’s bound to cause arguments and it’s turning kids into couch potatoes,” said prominent child psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg.

Most studies show homework either has a negative impact or no impact on the achievements of primary school students, he said.

“The whole thing is a farce, it is modern-day cod liver oil; people think it’s good for them but it’s not.” 

In a study, soon to be published in the journal Economics of Education Review, US researchers assessed 25,000 Grade 8 children and discovered only maths homework had a significant improvement on test scores.

Helen Walton, president of the Federation of Parents and Citizens’ Association, said homework, which is set by individual schools, was a source of ongoing family stress.

“Our position is we don’t like the ‘must do’ attitude about it, that if kids don’t do it there will be consequences. It should be optional. Homework is a stressful time for parents because kids are tired and hungry and distracted and it becomes a struggle.”

Educational consultant Dr Ian Lillico said homework for primary school children was a major contributor to childhood obesity.

The founder of the Boys Forward Institute and author of The Homework Grid, said homework should consist of interactive learning opportunities like a game of Scrabble with parents or a visit to the theatre.

Dr Shelly Hyman said daughter Samsara, 8, has too much homework: “The tears and the argument that go on, especially because my daughter goes to after-school care, where is the free time?”

What is your take on homework?  Is it responsible for creating stress at home?

Are We Setting Up Our Children?

June 10, 2011

I personally don’t agree with closing down establishments that offer facials to kids under 13, as I feel that while it may be in poor taste, it is hardly outrageous.

What I do believe is that there far too much focus put on appearance. We are setting up our kids for failure if we continue to peddle the lie that:

a. You are happy if you look a certain way

b. You are ugly if you don’t look a certain way

c. That appearance is more important than character and integrity.

Still, as long as we allow our kids to stop acting their age and instead obsess about their appearance, cases like this will emerge:

Do children need a facial?

That question is actually being considered by some parents in Britain, where a salon that caters exclusively to children recently opened.

The salon, which opened earlier this week in the county of Essex, Britain’s answer to Jersey Shore, offers services such as manicures, pedicures, facials and hair styling to children under 13. The salon, called Trendy Monkeys also offers “princess parties” for groups of children, which comes with pink limousine service to and from the salon.

News of the salon has created an uproar in Britain, where child psychologists and advocates say that type of business promotes the sexualization of young girls and robs them of their childhood.

Owner Michelle Devine has defended her business, saying that daughters want to be like their mothers and that she is simply offering a service that many want.

“This shop will be specifically aimed at children and will cater to their need to feel good about themselves and take pride in their appearance in a fun-filled environment,” Ms. Devine told The Independent.

Critics disagree. A child protection consultant named Shy Keenan told the Daily Mail, “This is outrageous – it is giving children a complex about the way they look from the age of one.”

She might be onto something. Cosmetics companies and beauty businesses looking to widen their customer base have been increasingly courting the I-still-have-baby-teeth group in recent years.

A 2008 New York Times article detailed how a growing number of salons aimed at children as young as five were popping up, while retail giant Walmart came under fire earlier this year after news emerged it planned to sell anti-aging skin care products aimed at children 8 to 12, according to CBS local news in Pittsburgh.

While many parents may see nothing wrong with letting their child play dress-up or try on lipstick at home, a growing number of critics argue that marketing salon services and cosmetics to children is just plain wrong.

Whether that has any impact on business is another story. The business’ Facebook page (where, incidentally, photos of children who have visited the salon are accessible to anyone with an Internet connection) posted a message on Thursday expressing thanks for all of the attention it has received, apparently in belief that any publicity is good publicity.

You hear adults defend this practice by saying, “I spend a great deal of time focussing on my appearance, it’s natural.”

My response is, “How is that working for you?”

Do we want our kids to be spending inordinate amounts of time at salons, in front of the mirror and on the scales?  Do we want their appearance to guide their self-worth?  Do we want them to spend more time working out what to wear than how they can help others?

Is it not possible that we are setting up our children to take on the mindless anxieties that have so deeply tarnished our self-worth and affected our capacity to feel good about who we are and what we have achieved?

How Can Handcuffing Students Ever Be Legal?

June 9, 2011

In Australia, if a school Prinicipal was seen to be authorising the handcuffing of students to polls, all hell would break loose!  The Principal would be sacked immediately, and the school would be faced with closure.  In America, it seems that it’s more complicated than that.

A recent school alleged to have shackled its students for hours at a time needs to have been proven contravene a rule that allows handcuffing of kids in certain instances, before legal action  can be imposed.

US civil rights activists have filed a lawsuit against a school they claim shackled children to railings and poles to punish misbehaviour.

Five pupils at Capital City Alternative School in Jackson, Mississippi, claim staff there handcuffed by their wrists, and sometimes the ankles too, for up to six hours at a time.

Some say they were forced to eat lunch while handcuffed, and had to shout to be released to use the bathroom, sometimes unsuccessfully.

They allege school principals often ordered the shackling, WLBT reported.

The Southern Poverty Law Centre filed a lawsuit naming Jackson Public Schools and Capital City Alternative School officials and seeking class-action status on behalf of all the school’s students.

The complaint says the alleged punishments violate the US Constitution and school board policy.

The centre’s director, attorney Jody Evans, said that the policy states students can only be handcuffed if they present a danger to themselves or others, or if they are destroying property.

‘In these instances, none of these occurred. Students were simply (saying) I forgot my belt today, have the wrong shoes on. They were handcuffed,’ he said, according to WLBT.

Critics of the Capital City Alternative School in Jackson say the allegedly excessive punishment makes students more likely to drop out of school – and commit crimes later in life.

The school admits pupils in grades 4-12 who have been suspended or expelled from Jackson Public Schools for 10 days or longer.

School district officials said the agency takes the allegations seriously and will respond through legal channels.

It deeply upsets me that schools should ever have the authority to handcuff students.  That’s the job of the police.  Misissippi needs to change their education policy quickly.  It is not acceptable for this practice to be allowed in any form.

Kids Adapt to Technology While Adults Watch in Amazement

June 2, 2011

At a time when parents are often criticised for being over-protective and not exposing their kids to taking on challenges, it is amazing to see how quickly young children adapt to new technologies.  The apprehension and indecision that adults have is non-existent.   These kids often make the remarkable transition from inhibited and anxious to confident risk takers as soon as the i-Pad comes out.

Take this revealing clip as a two-and-a-half  year old is presented with an i-Pad for the very first time.  Watch how confidently she navigates the product and how quickly she learns to use its programs and features.

This shows us what kids are capable of, not only when it comes to technology, but in other spheres at all.  When engaged and stimulated, when they enjoy what they are doing, their behaviour becomes more positive and more inclined to take responsible risks.

The challenge of educators is to spend less time protecting students from making mistakes and disappointment, and more time investigating ways to educate through fun and engaging activities.  Confidence does not come about from someone protecting you or holding your hand through a challenge.

Confidence comes about when the challenge is enticing and the outcome is genuinely fulfilling.

It’s Time For Schools To Shape Up

May 31, 2011

Some schools just don’t get it!  Their job goes beyond education.  They are looking after people’s kids!  Schools are duty bound to actually look after the safety of their students (as opposed to just saying they do in a catchy but meaningless slogan).  They must understand that parents don’t give the responsibility of having others look after their kids lightly.  It’s not like giving over the keys to your car to the valet.  It’s a huge deal.

That’s why schools must do their utmost to earn the confidence and respect of their parents.  They must be actively protecting the students whilst also communicating regularly with parents.  To have a school issue a dictate that all students wear baggy clothes to ward off probable paedophiles is a disgrace!  How is a parent supposed to take that advice?

Furious parents yesterday criticised a school after they were asked to buy their children baggy clothes to deter paedophiles.

King’s Park Secondary School, in Glasgow, asked parents to ensure modesty in their children’s uniform in a bizarre letter which claims sex offenders may be taking pictures of schoolboys in tight trousers.

The letter, dubbed ‘paranoid in the extreme’ by one parent, was sent home even though police say there have been no incidents of schoolchildren in the area being targeted.

And children whose parents fail to conform to the approved dress code could be forced to miss out on fun school trips.

The letter says: ‘We believe an appropriate school uniform protects children from being targeted by sexual predators.

‘There is recent evidence in south Glasgow of adults photographing schoolgirls in short skirts and schoolgirls/boys in tight trousers, then grooming them through the internet.

‘We must do all we can to keep our children safe. A modest school uniform is more appropriate than fashion skirts, trousers or tops.’

The crackdown on pupil attire has been slammed by shocked parents whose children don’t want to obey the strict rules.

One blasted: ‘There is no way an ugly uniform is going to deter a predator and determined sex offender.

‘This is just paranoid in the extreme. There are better ways to safeguard children than spreading needless panic.’

Another added: ‘It is laughable to think the uniform can act as some sort of paedophile-repellent.’

The tough new policy forces cash-strapped parents to shop from an approved list of items available only at high street store Marks and Spencer.

Girls can wear only knee-length pleated skirts or trousers and boys loose-fitting trousers.

This is an awful thing to do to parents.  To play on their fears and insight paranoia is just unacceptable.  I am glad Australian schools aren’t so stupid and downright insensitive!