An awful tragedy that is going to unsettle children:
Today, parents across the country are struggling with how to talk to their kids in the aftermath of a tragedy that killed and injured both adults and children. Experts generally agree that after such a tragedy, parents should keep their answers simple, leaving out dramatic details, while reassuring their children of their safety.
Below are some tips by experts in the field:
Watch for Trauma: “Young children may have difficulties identifying and expressing feelings. Parents should pay attention to the children’s play (for instance, preoccupation with certain aggressive electronic games, drawings, repetitive play that imitates the traumatic event or events). Another sign of trauma is avoidance of reminders (in this case, going to the movies or to a show or watching certain movies or avoiding other activities that they didn’t avoid before).” — Dr. Aurelia Bizamcer, Medical Director, Outpatient Psychiatry at Temple University Hospital
Keep Answers Truthful but Simple: “We’re not holding back, but we’re not giving more because the giving more could have the risk ofalarming the child. … As a parent you have an obligation to protect a young child from being overwhelmed.” –Alan Kazdin, Professor of Psychology and Child Psychiatry at Yale University; Director of the Yale Parenting Center.
Reassure Them: “We need to appreciate that kids have different fears. Many will worry about the movies, but others will worry about such events spilling over to other areas, such as the mall, school, the neighborhood. For kids of all ages, it is really important to let them know that these kinds of events are incredibly rare. Movie theaters are very safe places. Just think of all the movies you, mom and dad and everyone has gone to. Things like this really do not happen much at all.” –Dr. Gene Beresin, Director of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Residency Training, Massachusetts General Hospital and McLean Hospital
Keep Answers Age-Appropriate: “Parents should be sure to pitch the discussion to their kids’ developmental level ? for a 6-year-old, it’s completely appropriate to reassure them of their safety, with some emphasis on the fact that police have caught the person they think did this, and he is no longer at large. For kids over the age of 8, more concrete details are appropriate, along with, perhaps, a general discussion of how to be safe in public — locating exit doors for instance, and getting to safety in the event of any dangerous occurrence.” –Jay Reeve,President and Chief Executive Officer, Apalachee Center
Don’t Make Assumptions: “Don’t project your own feelings, fears and anxietyon kids because you know you don’t really know exactly what your kids are feeling until you talk to them.” –Dr. Jane Taylor, psychiatrist
Click here to read ‘Helping Our Children Make Sense of Natural Disasters’.
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