Posts Tagged ‘Conversation’

The Lost Art of Conversation

August 22, 2011

Remember when quality time with another involved talking?  Remember when a family dinner was a daily not twice yearly occasion?  Well, times have changed and some think that the lack of real conversation between family and friends is quite acceptable and just a new feature in the era we live in.

That may be so, but it just doesn’t feel right.  The notion that smartphones and video games are bringing families closer together doesn’t sit at all well with me:

Four in five parents described playing video games with their children as “quality time”, while 32 per cent of parents play computer games with their kids every day.

Many grandparents revealed that they play video games with their tech-savvy grandchildren, in a bid to get closer to them.

Dr Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, Reader in Psychology at Goldsmiths said: “These findings are important because they highlight the social benefits of playing videogames.

“Previous research has tended to look only at the individual effects of video games, but in the era of social networking games appear to play a vital role in enhancing social relationships. The fact that both parents and grandparents are using games to connect with their children and grandchildren, and quite successfully, suggests that video games can improve social skills and make a key contribution to both effective parenting and child development.

The social benefits of playing video games?  Are you a doctor of psychology or a rep for Nintendo?  Just because parents are resorting to these lengths in a bid to connect with their kids doesn’t mean that it’s the best way to communicate with them.  You can spend hours every night playing Mario Bros. with your child and never begin to understand how they are feeling, what their troubles are and what excites them etc.

Imagine if dates consisted of smartphone operations and video game playing instead of dinner and romantic walks?  How would that work?  The answer is it wouldn’t, because people need to actually converse in order to connect.

Why should it be any different with kids?