As I teacher, I frequently encounter students who are struggling with fear. Fear of failure, fear of not measuring up to others, fear of loneliness, fear of losing popularity, fear of not seeming smart enough and fear of public humiliation.
It is my job to notice a student who is fearful and help them manage their anxiety with strategies, words of encouragement and ongoing support. In these situations I am quite adept at knowing what to say and the steps required to deal with the issues at hand.
Only trouble is … I am also fearful.
- I am scared of death (both myself and my family and friends).
- I am scared of driving.
- I am scared of rejection. I have been fine tuning my manuscript for ages out of fear of being rejected by publishers.
- I am scared of taking risks, doing things that seem beyond me and leaving my comfort zone.
Whilst I am constantly working on myself and have improved over time, it feels strange that I am giving advice for issues I share.
Am I a hypocrite or just human?
Topical Teaching 
January 19, 2011 at 3:33 am |
I think that you are just human. We all have a fear of some kind. I think being honest with your students and telling them about your fears and how you work through your fears is what you should share. Let them know that we all just have to work through our fears? Is it easy? Heck no, I struggle with mine at times. I hope that you can be strong and live life with as little fear as possible!
January 19, 2011 at 12:04 pm |
Although rating your performances and comparing them to those of others has real value because it will help you improve your efficacy and presumably increase your happiness, rating your self and insisting that you must be a good and adequate person will (unless you are perfect!) almost inevitably result in your being anxious when you may do any important thing badly, depressed when you do behave poorly, hostile when others out-perform you, and self-pitying when conditions interfere with your doing as well as you think you should.
January 19, 2011 at 3:09 pm |
Fear is part of the human condition.
I recall speaking to a great man once about a project he was embarking on. After describing it for a while, he spoke about how satisfying it would be to complete this project. Then he paused, turned to me and said, “But it’s scary, isn’t it?”
Seeing the look on his face (smiling a bit sheepishly, but sincerely) made me realiize in an instant that the difference between great people and the rest of us is that the truly great take action despite their fears, while most people are paralyzed by their fears.
I think the best thing we can do for our students is what you are doing: Be open about your own fears, and model how you deal with your fears as you make progress. Helping our students realize that fear is nothing to be ashamed of, and that we all have to cope with it, will be enormously encouraging to them.
January 20, 2011 at 1:24 am |
I think you’re right. I am certainly open with my fears, but realize that helping students with their own fears is a critical part of my job.