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Tip for Getting Your Kids to Open Up About Their School Day

first day

Personally, I try to make the child’s’ school experience pleasurable enough to make them anxious to share their day with their parents. But for the parents who find it hard to get anything substantive from their children in this area, here are some tips courtesy of via parenttoolkit.com:

 

1. Wait at least a half an hour

Kids are generally drained and strained the moment they walk in door. So wait at least 30 minutes to start talking about school. Give your child a chance to decompress and have a snack, take off the backpack, and just breathe.

2. Don’t turn questions into a third degree

What would make you want to open up and tell her all those details? The same rules apply to kids. Big kid turn offs: pushing, prodding, demanding, coaxing, lecturing and threatening.

3. Look interested

Think of how your best friend asks you about your day. Use her example. Make sure you are relaxed and appear genuinely interested when you speak to your child.

4. Ask questions that require more than yes or no

“Do you have homework?” “Did you give your speech?” are questions that make your kid only have to answer with a yes or no response. So pose questions that require your child to respond with more than just yes, no, nope, sure, nothing, fine.

5. Don’t use the same questions

A big kid turn off is hearing your same old predictable: “How was your day?” query. So be creative. Churn up those questions so your kid knows you are interested!

6. Stop and listen

The nanosecond your child utters ANYTHING related to school, stop  and give your full presence. Catch any little nugget of information and make it seem as though it’s a gold mine. Kids open up more when they think you’re interesting.

7. Stretch conversation with “invitation openers”

If and when your child shares a detail try using the “stretching method.” Don’t push or prod but instead use these type of comments: “Really?” “Uh-huh?” “I don’t believe it!” “Wow!” They’re not threatening and invite a talker to open up.

8. Repeat “talk” portions

Try repeating bits of your child’s conversation: Child: “I played on the swing.” You: “You played on the swing.” The trick is to repeat the tidbit in a matter-of-fact but interested way to get your child to open up and add more.

9. Make your house kid-friendly

Many parents swear they find out more about school from their kids’ friends than from their own child. So invite your child’s friends over. Keep the fridge stocked with food. Set up a basketball court (or whatever you need to keep those kids at your house). And then be friendly (but not intrusive) to the friend. You may find that not only do the friends open up more, but your child will tag onto the friend’s conversation.

10. Get on the school website

Find out what’s going on in your kid’s school world: read the teacher newsletters, click onto the school calendar, read the school activities schedule and menu. You can then ask specific questions about your kid’s day.

 

 

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Click on the link to read When Parents Get Busted!

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