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A funny post by a teacher quite sick of the same old questions.

Singing Pigs

A short little piece inspired by the tenth student in fifteen minutes to inquire about a test.

1. Have you graded our tests yet?

No.  Contrary to popular belief, I am not a Scantron machine.  Good thing, too, because to my knowledge, Scantron machines cannot grade short answer or essay questions which make up the bulk of your test.  And while I do consider myself a reasonably intelligent human being I have not yet perfected my reading skills to complete ninety, four-page tests in one hour (which is exactly how long it has been since you walked out of my classroom) even if I weren’t teaching the rest of the day or preparing your classes for tomorrow.  I reassure you that the second the tests are graded, the grades will be posted online because (also contrary to popular belief) I have better things to do than get my kicks by…

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