Are We Setting Up Our Children?

I personally don’t agree with closing down establishments that offer facials to kids under 13, as I feel that while it may be in poor taste, it is hardly outrageous.

What I do believe is that there far too much focus put on appearance. We are setting up our kids for failure if we continue to peddle the lie that:

a. You are happy if you look a certain way

b. You are ugly if you don’t look a certain way

c. That appearance is more important than character and integrity.

Still, as long as we allow our kids to stop acting their age and instead obsess about their appearance, cases like this will emerge:

Do children need a facial?

That question is actually being considered by some parents in Britain, where a salon that caters exclusively to children recently opened.

The salon, which opened earlier this week in the county of Essex, Britain’s answer to Jersey Shore, offers services such as manicures, pedicures, facials and hair styling to children under 13. The salon, called Trendy Monkeys also offers “princess parties” for groups of children, which comes with pink limousine service to and from the salon.

News of the salon has created an uproar in Britain, where child psychologists and advocates say that type of business promotes the sexualization of young girls and robs them of their childhood.

Owner Michelle Devine has defended her business, saying that daughters want to be like their mothers and that she is simply offering a service that many want.

“This shop will be specifically aimed at children and will cater to their need to feel good about themselves and take pride in their appearance in a fun-filled environment,” Ms. Devine told The Independent.

Critics disagree. A child protection consultant named Shy Keenan told the Daily Mail, “This is outrageous – it is giving children a complex about the way they look from the age of one.”

She might be onto something. Cosmetics companies and beauty businesses looking to widen their customer base have been increasingly courting the I-still-have-baby-teeth group in recent years.

A 2008 New York Times article detailed how a growing number of salons aimed at children as young as five were popping up, while retail giant Walmart came under fire earlier this year after news emerged it planned to sell anti-aging skin care products aimed at children 8 to 12, according to CBS local news in Pittsburgh.

While many parents may see nothing wrong with letting their child play dress-up or try on lipstick at home, a growing number of critics argue that marketing salon services and cosmetics to children is just plain wrong.

Whether that has any impact on business is another story. The business’ Facebook page (where, incidentally, photos of children who have visited the salon are accessible to anyone with an Internet connection) posted a message on Thursday expressing thanks for all of the attention it has received, apparently in belief that any publicity is good publicity.

You hear adults defend this practice by saying, “I spend a great deal of time focussing on my appearance, it’s natural.”

My response is, “How is that working for you?”

Do we want our kids to be spending inordinate amounts of time at salons, in front of the mirror and on the scales?  Do we want their appearance to guide their self-worth?  Do we want them to spend more time working out what to wear than how they can help others?

Is it not possible that we are setting up our children to take on the mindless anxieties that have so deeply tarnished our self-worth and affected our capacity to feel good about who we are and what we have achieved?

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2 Responses to “Are We Setting Up Our Children?”

  1. Allen O'Brien's avatar an irenicon Says:

    My wife and I speak often of our culture’s ironic desire to make children into adults and adults into children. Nowhere in our culture does this irony stand out more than in our concept of beauty and appearance.

    I understand that you’re saying we need to redefine how we approach the topic of worth, age aside. I couldn’t agree more.

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